When my boyfriend of several years finally proposed in 2013, I was over the moon. It was my dream come true. But there was a hitch. A big one in my mind. He still had 1 1/2 years left into his seminary program... in Boston. I didn't know much about Boston, but I knew it was far. Like, somewhere that was so far, you'd basically have to take a plane or plan a really long road trip (in case anyone is interested, that road trip takes almost exactly 24 hours, and that's without making long stops or even renting a hotel room for the night. I wouldn't recommend it). I really struggled with this decision. Well, I shouldn't even call it a decision. It was a fact. We were going to get married in May and then I was being whisked away to Boston in June. It was a whirlwind. My family didn't like it. I didn't like it. But marriage is sacrifice right?
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| The cheery faces of those road tripping to Boston |
The Highs and Lows of Boston
I know, you are all waiting for me to tell you WHERE we are moving... but you have to get my backstory beforehand. No easy out for you my friends.
So we moved to Boston. South Hamilton to be specific. We road tripped our way out there, stopping at friend's and family's homes along the way. The idea was to make it an adventure so it didn't seem so scary. We also hit up a roller coaster park in Ohio. It didn't feel scary.
I think the thing that saved me the most was that Justin was already established. He had been there for a full school year and was interning at a church. He had a community. Sure, I didn't know this community, but it could have been worse.
The first six months were hard. Really hard. when we attempted to meet our neighbors in the "married housing" on campus, one person out of several answered their door — and they were sick so it was slowly closed. I felt incredibly isolated. Pair that with internet problems, and I couldn't even contact my friends and family back home. I started my job less than a week later and we were in the thick of it. We started going to church on Sunday almost immediately, but I felt timid. I'm a pretty outgoing person, but I have a hard time breaking that bubble of bravery. I don't want to inconvenience anyone. I don't want to bother them. I don't want to force friendships on anyone. Luckily, people were pretty willing to get to know me.
We planned several trips back home that summer (for mostly weddings) and that helped. But every time we had to head back to Boston, I felt terrible. I wasn't letting my wound heal. Instead, I'd come back to my "drug" of Minnesota and have to go through withdrawals all over again. We'd get back to Boston and I would be sad for days. It didn't help that my niece was too young at the time to understand that I can't just "come over and play". I can't hop on a plane and be there in an hour. So we struggled.
Justin handled my struggle well. He may not have been able to anticipate how hard this would actually be for me, but he persevered. He helped me feel welcomed, even if I didn't want to go bible study or anything social gatherings. It all felt so exhausting.
It wasn't all bad though. Justin and I were given this incredible opportunity to start our married life together, and truly on our own. Our friends and family were nowhere to be found. If we had a problem, we talked to each other. If we wanted to go to a movie or go to the mall, we did it together. And while we are already two people who can't get enough of each other, it just created that much of a stronger bond. We learned a lot about each other real fast. And that was for the best.
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| We learned to love Boston. And I guess we like each other too. 😊 |
As time slowly (and I mean slowly for the first year) dragged on, I started to get used to my predicament. Heck, I actually started to make friends. In an amazing turn of events, the housing department on campus decided to put all the Minnesotans together in the same building. By the time we left Boston, we had at three couples that knew the land of 10,000 lakes. I think that's what helped me bond with them faster. They could related. The women missed home as much as I did. We all had families that we left behind, all had nieces and nephews that we missed desperately. We could rally together. I cannot say enough how this helped me. With that, we became friends with our small group and we started to build a family.
The Pain of Leaving
Who knew that when it was finally time to go, I really wouldn't want to. Yes, I was excited to go back home, but we had finally built a community. I loved my nanny family (you can read all about that here), we made some truly amazing friendships, and I think I had finally figured out Massachusetts and their roads (yields and on ramps are not a thing out there). Moving was hard, but leaving people behind that I knew I wouldn't be coming back to felt almost worse.
There was also pain of coming home. The funny thing about leaving is that life goes on without you. People get married, move, have kids, the worlds keeps turning. And we are at that prime age of families. A lot of my friends have alaready had kids, but they are on their second and third and so forth. Hanging out on weekenights is becoming harder and more complicated. We have to think about nap times and bed times and dinner times and sporting events. I'd be a liar if I said I was fine with this amount of change. So now that we were back in Minnesota, I once again felt strangely alone.
But it changes. You get used to your new normal. You, too, continue to do life. It's actually pretty amazing how humans can bounce back from constant change. God made us to be pretty resilient.
And Where We're Headed
The moment of truth. Where could these two be off to now? Back to Boston? Where else would make sense. Nowhere makes sense, but Justin and I are moving to Scotland, Edinburgh to be exact. Believe me, that's as shocking for me as it is for you. I knew Justin wanted to get his PhD. I was hoping he'd somehow find a program in at least the Midwest. But when your passion is Science and Religion, your options are limited. But after some long applications and a few referrals, Justin was accepted into the Masters program at the University of Edinburgh. To be clear, the first year is the masters program/ when he figures out what he'll write for his dissertation. The other three years will be the actually PhD portion, which we have yet to see if we'll be in Scotland for all four years, or if we can pull some strings and finish part of it back in Minnesota. We were blessed to find out that he got a full scholarship this year — it's pretty hard to turn down that kind of offer. So we accepted and now our lives are forever changed — again.
Am I scared? Heck yes. I have so many doubts. What if we can't come back until the four years are up? Will my nieces and nephews forget about me or resent me? Will I lose all the friendships I have worked so hard to keep? What if a tragedy occurs? Will I ever get to live in Minnesota? Where will I work? Believe me, any question you come up with, I've already thought about and re-thought about.
What I do know is this. There is no one on this earth or in the heavens above that I would want to do life with except with Justin. He is my light, my shield, my comforter, my partner, my everything. We'll have some challenges ahead and he'll have to help me transition to a place I've never been (I've never even left North America. What have I gotten myself into?) We'll have to figure out a lot on our feet, we'll have to find jobs, but I know I will look back on this 5, 10, 20 years down the road, and I don't believe I will regret any of this. Between life experience and blogs that I have read, while change is always hard and you fear you will regret it, it usually always leads to something great or brings you to something amazing that you would have never been able to get to without this valley in life. It will blow by in the blink of an eye, and I'm betting I'll be grateful.
So what now? Well, we purchased our plane tickets and we are officially moving September 7th. I will continue to blog about life and knitting and recipes and all the things you want when you come to this place on the interwebs. But now you'll have some more scenic posts to look for. And we are also up for visitors. For real. I'm not just saying that. We already have two friends that are booked and ready to come visit us! We also have plenty people that are "saving up for it" and I hope it happens, but I'm also realistic.
I ask for prayers and thoughts as we try to meander our way through this time in our life. Who knows what's ahead of us, but I if I know I have some amazing people in my corner, I think we will be able to get to the other side.
Always,
A
