Weightloss on My Own Terms

When my sister and I were little, I vividly remember our babysitter telling us to never worry about weight. To not pay attention to the pictures in the magazines of all the beautiful people in makeup that’s been heavily edited. At the time, I thought she was crazy. It seemed such a silly thing to worry about. I didn’t want to be the people in the magazines. They looked weird and had WAY too much makeup on.

Fast forward some 20 years later, and I definitely knew what she was talking about. She was probably in high school or maybe early college when she told us that, and being that age in this society means you almost automatically worry about your looks, your weight, etc. I mean, I thought I was “fat” in high school while I trotted around in my size 0 jeans. It’s absurd. But the idea that we need to look a certain way or fit a certain mold does exist. It’s hard to avoid and very palpable. 

Of course, I didn’t stay in those 0-sized jeans. Freshman year hit, and so “Freshman 15” plus 5. What can I say, Dove ice cream pints were sold in our school grocery store, and they were delightful (I have a chocolate addiction. I argued once with a 7-year-old about who loved chocolate more). I also hated working out. It was a doomed combo. 

Even when I decided to fall in love with working out, I started to take on stress — heaps of it. Going to college was expensive (and getting a loan without a co-signer felt next to impossible), and pairing that with rent, car payments, cell phone bills and a myriad of other payments that needed to be made each month, I always felt broke. But of course I tried to live my champagne life on my beer budget. I even started to work two jobs to try to make up for it, but somehow I felt like I had even less money. So the weight ticked upward. 

Now I shouldn’t really complain. I’ve never been obese, I’ve never had to worry about getting diabetes or anything else that’s paired with being very overweight. And this blog isn’t to make others feel bad or feel like I’m complaining about a few extra pounds. What this is really about is learning to take care of my body and feel healthy, without going to extremes. Everyone has their own journey, and I applaud and listen to each and every one of them. 

When Did it Change? 

In August of 2011, I had moved in with a friend and she said we should go to the gym together. I agreed begrudgingly. I hated working out in front of people. I didn’t know what I was doing and I wasn’t fast on the treadmill. But I went on one of the scales and was schocked at what it read. According to my BMI (Body Mass Index), I was right on the line of being overweight and obese. I was floored. I knew I was a little bit heavier than I’d like to be, but I certainly wouldn’t have put myself in this place. And yes, I would not say the BMI is to live and die by, but it gives you at least some sort of picture of where you’re at. My Body Fat % was also pretty high. 

I knew at this moment it needed to change. But how? I loved Coke, chocolate, watching TV, reading, snacks, chips, and on and on and on. Nothing in my lifestyle screamed “HEALTH” and I had no desire to start eating leafy greens while doing yoga. My only option, at the time, was to continue to go to the gym with my friend. 

Slowly But Surely 

Nothing for me changed overnight. I went to the gym a few times a week and started to tone down my Coke intake. Instead of drinking one or two cans a day, I tried to drink one a day, and then drink one four or five days a week. It wasn’t much, but it was certainly baby steps. 

Within five months, I had dropped 14 pounds. It was shocking. I really hadn’t done much. My workouts had only changed a little, maybe running two miles instead of one, and maybe spending one day at the weight machines. 

Today, a few days into my 31st year on this planet, I’m happy to say I’m flirting with a “Normal” BMI category. It’s been a 6-year journey, with lots of failing, tears and inward judgement. I’ve never felt better. I’ve never been stronger. While I don’t fit it size 0 jeans, I am 30 times healthier than I was back then, and I’m more proud of that than anything else. It’s taken time and commitment and changing the way you view life and food and yourself. 

It wasn’t easy though. I know that. I lost more weight in those first few months than I did for years. It’s easy to lose weight at first. But your body finds your new normal with your workouts and your diet choices and it’s like starting all over again. But I want to share with you what I learned on this journey and hope that if you find yourself in the same place, that you can make changes that stick, make changes that don't have to completely shake your life up. Again, everyone has their own journey and every body reacts differently to weight loss and working out, but this is just some ideas from what has worked for me. 

2010 vs. 2017: Quite a change! Also, hard to find me not in a sweatshirt back then! 

Everyone Has Their Vice

If it were as simple as saying, "I'm never going to eat chocolate or drink pop ever again," then that'd be great. Alas, it's never that easy. In my experiences, trying to give up the things you love the most, makes dieting nearly impossible. Most of us reach this point in diet where you snap. You have a work crisis, you get extremely sick, you experience a major heartache and so on. There are a milllion things that could break your diet routine. Heck, for me, even trying to go to restaurants with friends is a deal breaker. Have you ever tried to go to Applebees and eat healthy? It's laughable. You get my point.

So what do you do? Figure out your vices. Figure out what you want the most when you attempt to diet or make major changes. Maybe some of you would thrive more on going cold turkey and completely cutting it out of your life. But for me and my personality, I liked the idea of slowly removing it from your day to day life. If I knew I could have a Coke on the weekend, I could make the healither choices during the week by drinking water. Did I drink pop on the weekdays? Heck yes. I had relapses. But these days, I don't crave it everyday. My first two weeks in Scotland consisted of one pop, shared with my husband. My 25-year-old self would be stunned.

As for chocolate. Ha. If I don't have some form of chocolate everyday, then something must be terribly wrong. But instead of eating a candy bar every day, I take a few pieces and save the rest for the next few days. I scoop a little bit of ice cream instead of filling the bowl. To me, I'd rather have a little bit and savor it, than deny myself until the weekend and then going into a chocolate coma. 

Fall in Love With Healthy Food

For reasons unknown to me, whether it is a physical or mental thing, I have food issues. I am extremely sensitive to textures (Jello is the worst thing in the world. So slippery and slimy!) and have a hard time trying new foods. I grew up on some family dinners, but also on Lunchables, Spagehttios, Kraft mac and cheese,  Pop-Tarts, Oreos, pop, fruit snacks and Doritos. I was the exact opposite of health. my parents would feed me real food, but it's not what I wanted.

Trying to change from those habits was extremely hard. A lot of garbage food is cheap, so while I was poor in college, those were my go-tos. Healthy food can be cheap too, but it usually involves cooking, something I didn't like to do. So what changed?

Between working at restaurants, dating my now-husband and being around people that liked healthy and fresh food, I learned. I know that I love red peppers, peas, pea pods, celery, asaparagus, green peppers and a few others. I'm working on broccoli and cauliflower. There's still a million things I don't like. And I don't think you have to eat them all to feel good about yourself. Introduce things one at a time, learn what you love and then learn how to incorporate them. Stir frys are a really good way to eat a lot of veggies. Or salads if that's your thing.

Make Small Changes

I've never been a strong dieter, which you've probably gleaned from my above text. Diets can really work for people. I've seen it. But I know they aren't for everyone, myself included. I've had friends try everything. One friend was allowed to eat as much meat as they wanted (bacon, burgers, etc) but couldn't eat strawberries. Or one could eat deep fried food, but not other things that I would put in the healthy category. Or where you eat a bunch of different smoothies all day, everyday. I remember one friend who lost a lot of weight eventually stopped one of those smoothie diets because he was putting in a packet of unknown powder. What was it? Was it full of chemicals? Who knows.

I'm not knocking diets. Again, they can work for people, and could be a great jumpstart to a new lifestyle, but I know that for me, they will not last. I will get bored with the foods, or the food plans will call for me to eat foods that I don't like. And I shouldn't have to force myself to eat food I hate. Shouldn't you be able to love food and still eat well? I think so.

So make small changes. Instead of eating fruit snacks after a long day at work, grab a bowl of fruit. Instead of eating unhealthy dinners all week, choose one or two days to make a conscious decision to eat a healthy meal, whatever you prefer. By making these small changes, you'll soon find yourself that two healthy dinners a week turn into three, four or five. 

Don’t Beat Yourself Up 

This one is the hardest. There is that high when you start to lose weight from working out or eating well, and then you plateau. Or you've been eating really well for almost a month, and then you have a bad weekend and you gain a little weight back. Or you're sick of your gym routine and can't find the energy to go. That's when the negative thoughts come in. That's when you attack yourself, saying that you are failing, you'll never be truly healthy, you'll only gain the weight back. It's hard to get past. And you probably really don't. I can literally think to myself, "Man! I'm looking and feeling great!" one day, and within 24 hours, I will think that I'm looking flabby or I'm not as muscular as I thought. But always remember: YOU choose how you feel. Sure. Have a down day. Have a day where everything is wrong and all this change sucks. But the next day, you need to remember why you are doing this. For health. For strength. To live a long life. To feel good about yourself and your life. That's what it's about isn't it? I think so. 

And always remember this as well: there is no perfection. No matter how much weight you lose, how much muscle you build, there will always be something that bothers you. For me, it's my stomach. I've set a New Year's resolution every year since 7th grade, saying "I'm going to get abs this year." Guess what? Still don't have them. Maybe I do under some layers, but you get my point. And I've learned to live with that. Maybe I will get them someday, but I'm proud of the changes I've made thus far. 

For others, they see problems in their thighs, butt, arms, face, etc. You can be knit-picky forever, but it's not worth it. You are beautiful and strong. You have the power to do anything as long as you set your mind to it and persevere through the bad days. If you've even made the conscious decision to make a change, you should already be congratulating yourself! Cheers to you! Cheers to a fresh start! Cheers to feeling great about you and your life. 

Always, 
A 

Working in a Familiarly Unfamiliar Place

Most of my working life has focused around the service industry. I started out as a cashier at a small town grocery store, followed by a long six years at Panera Bread and then another six years at Buffalo Wild Wings. Retail has never been my thing. I hate sales. I hate holiday shopping (unless I'm the one shopping of course!) I hate folding clothes. But serving? Serving I can do. Talking to people, running food, taking orders, laughing and complaining with coworkers, working in a fast-paced do-or-die setting. That is where I thrive. 

Of course my alternative passion is writing, which is probably obvious due to this silly blog I continue to work on. I knew I wanted to write when I was 9 year's old, journaling in my pink Jasmine journal that had a lock and key. And I've been blessed with the opportunity to work in this field, both in print and online. My last job in particular was a wonderful place and I was sad to leave it for Edinburgh. 

Since being across the pond, finding work has been tough. I only applied to editorial/communications work, but so far the outlook is bleak. Desperation set in and I walked around our neighborhood with my husband, begrudgingly turning in CVs to anyone that was hiring. This wasn't what I wanted to get back in to. Serving means late nights, weekends, chaos, no PTO, no holidays. That life was fine in college, but I'm 30 and wanting that beautiful Monday to Friday, 9-5 sort of thing. It's end game. 

And Then This Happened

So where do I find myself? In a restaurant of course. Desperate times calls for desperate measures, and I'll take what I can get. But the story is in how I got his job and what happened next. 

I turned in my CV to a bar last Wednesday. They were looking for a full-time person. Sure, why not. Didn't think about it again. The next day, I received a call fairly early in the morning, asking if I'd like to come in for an interview at 3:30 and possibly stay for a trial shift. I said okay, then immediately searched online to what a "trial shift" entails. I had never had a trial shift, and obviously never been apart of one in the U.K. But essentially you work a free shift and they see if they like you. But that was only a maybe; first I had to get through the interview. 

It's pretty to say the least

Because punctuality matters, and that my walk took less than five minutes, I arrived fairly early. We sat down right away and got into it. Yes, I've worked with alcohol before, yes I can handle chaos, yes I've worked for the Timberwolves (it's a conversation starter every time). He asked how old I was (apparently you get paid more when you're older) and asked if I'd be okay doing a trial shift. Seemed fine enough. 

He brought me behind the bar and started showing me the beers on tap, where the whisky was (hint: there's a lot of whisky), where all the glasses were and so forth. He also mentioned that it'd be busy because there was a sold-out show. The bar is right next to a theater where they have plays and musicals. While they aren't associated with the theater itself, they have a good connection and many theater-goers end up in our bar before the show starts. 

And then... he told me to take orders. Just like that. Talk about feeding you to the wolves! I tried to help my first customer, and to say that went well was an overstatement. I'm still working on hearing the Scottish accent clearly. I'm pretty sure I pick up one of every three words. Maybe more if the person is younger and the accent isn't as thick. I think the man had to ask for his drink four or five times before I understood he wanted something with a car. Turns out, there is a beer on tap called Carling. 

That was the other problem. I don't know these beers. They surprisingly have Blue Moon and then four taps of Guinness, but after that, I'm in the dark. Pravha? John Smith? Tennents? Peroni? My favorite, Innis and Gunn. It's a local beer and people like it. But when they ask for it, it sounds more like "innigun" and I'm not sure if they are asking for a beer or some sort of mixed drink that I have never heard of. Knowing what's on tap makes it easier. 

Once I can conquered that, then it was remembering where on earth the taps are. The bar is essentially circular, so there are four areas with four taps in each area. And then each beer has a special glass. To top it off (haha), the head of the beer is supposed to be only 5% of the drink. In America, you need at least a one-inch head on that beer to be poured right. 

They also have five ales on tap, but these taps are different. I can't explain it so I'll show it: 

This is essentially what we have, only the nozzle touches the bottom of the glass (credit: Palmer's Brewery)

I have to use my whole body to pull it down all three times. It's a crazy contraption! It's possibly called cask ales? Not even sure. But people like them and order them frequently.

Okay. So yes, I got past pouring beers. And I wont even go into detail about learning the whiskies. There's got to be 40 different kinds. Let's just say: I don't know them. And some of them have crazy names that I can't pronounce, let alone have someone say it in their Scottish accent. Good luck. 

Then... it's time for them to pay. 

I'm lucky in the sense that 100 pence equals one pound. That much I know. And notes (bills) are colorful and have the number on it. Coins? So many coins! Why someone would want one pound coins instead of notes I can't quite figure out. But I'm still learning the look of 50 pence, 20 pence, 10 pence and 5 pence. I've managed to memorize where each coin is in the drawer, but if someone hands me a bunch of coins because they don't know what they are either, we're both lost. I continuously turn them over and try to find the number on them. I'm sure I look like a fool. But nobody seems to think I've shorted them money, so I guess that's a win. 

Anyway, the night was crazy. People were all around the bar, at lest four or five deep. It was one drink after another. Customers would rattle 3,4 or 7 drinks at me and I'd stare at them like they were speaking in code. You wanted a what with a what? You wanted a shandy beer? A Carling topper? a JD Coke? HELP! 

My shift lasted five hours. It blew by and my head felt dizzy. They asked me to come back and close the next night — I guess that means I succeeded? 

I got home and Justin said he was about to come check and see if I was dead. He had no idea where I was. I told him the story and he laughed and shook his head at the insanity of it all. Believe me, it was a sight to see. 

Present Day 

Since that initial first day last Thursday, I've managed to close Friday, open Saturday and cover a half shift Sunday night. I've learned how to clean the taps, wash a million and one glasses, polish the counters, pour the correct drinks and work in a pure chaotic situation. I'm officially on staff (although apparently I don't get paid until my national insurance number comes in) and I have my first real schedule this week. The people are nice, the work is good when it's busy and it couldn't be closer to home. The wage isn't amazing and tipping isn't anything like the U.S. It's not nothing, but I won't ever leave with $100 in tips from a good night's work. 

I must wear all black now that I'm a night life bartender.  Maybe it hides all the spilled drinks

Will I stay? Sure, for now. I'll continue the process of applying to editorial jobs, but this will pay the bills and keep it interesting. 

I would have to say that I now feel like I really live here. No more vacation life, I'm in it. And it could be worse... I could be in retail. 

Always, 
A 

October in Minnesota: The Best The Midwest Has to Offer

October is a special month for me. It always has been. Besides the fact that it’s my birthday month (and I may have an unhealthy obsessions with birthdays), October has always delivered everything that I love. Summer is lovely, but fall creates a colorful wonderland, filled with trees bursting with reds, oranges and yellows. Spring brings new energy and life, but as we all know in Minnesota, spring is just another name for winter. And winter... is pretty for about one week and then we are grumble as we spend twice as long commuting and looking at dirty brown snow on the sides of the roads.

If you already disagree with me, just wait! I’m going to present a list of my favorite things to do that all happen (or at least start) in the beautiful month of October. And since I’m not anywhere near Minnesota, I hope you all go out and enjoy these things on my behalf. You won’t regret it.

1. Apple Orchards

Okay. So I technically believe that you can go to apple orchards starting in September. BUT I feel that in order to get the full experience, must partake in October. The temperatures make it more bearable to be outside for a good length of time, and all the variety of apples (like Honeycrisp!) should be ready to go. One of my favorite orchards, Apple Jack Orchards in Delano, Minn., has many activities to enjoy. You can enter their little shop that’s filled with trinkets to decorate your home in a fall style, pies, apples, caramel and even a dining area. Outside is a lovely playing area for children, plus a petting zoo and pony rides. When you cross the streeet, there are hayrides, corn pits, apple orchards to pick your favorite variety and even a corn maze (more on corn mazes later).

Me and my niece and nephew at Apple Jack Orchard's corn pit. You will find corn  everywhere for days to come. 

If you don’t live on the west side of the Twin Cities, have no fear! There are plenty of other orchards around that will provide you a lot of entertainment — plus some sweet, sweet apples to devour. I just can’t comment on them because I haven’t been to a lot of other places to give you a good review.

2. All Things Pumpkins

I will confess something to you: I did not carve a pumpkin until I was 17. Weird, right? I know. My boyfriend, now husband, added it to my bucket list of things to do that I had never done. Believe me, the list was lengthy. But moving on...

You don’t have to celebrate Halloween to carve pumpkins, or eat pumpkins or have a basket full of pumpkins as decoration. Pumpkins really help bring in the new season, with their bright orange coloring and the yummy treats they can provide.

Very serious pumpkin carving occurring

One of my favorite places to go is Knapton’s Raspberries, Pumpkins and Orchard in Rockford, Minn. They are friends of mine and have a lovely array of items to choose from. Their raspberries have always been enjoyed, but their pumpkins (and gourds!) are really my favorite part. You can get many different sizes of pumpkins, but you can also get some uniquely colored varieties, due to their knowledge of breeding plants. Their most desired pumpkins are the white ones, from what I hear. I’ve even had a co-worker from Minneapolis travel all the way out to get some of these special breeds of pumpkin. So you might want to hurry out there before it’s too late.

Be sure to grab some smaller gourds and colored corn to add more festive-ness around your home!

3. Corn Mazes

Now this is something you will want to do sooner or later. Mostly because by the end of the season, so many people have made their own pathways (either because they needed to get out, they’re small children or they are just rude) and the maze is not what it once was. But at the beginning of the season, they are very tricky to get out of and you might end up lost for days. Not true, but you get my drift.

A lot of apple orchards have mazes for you to hit up, but one of my favorites is Sever’s Corn Maze in Shakopee, Minn. This place is more than a maze, with it’s corn pit, exotic petting zoo and zip lines, but once again, i come for the maze. It’s their 20th year of mazes, and it won’t disappoint. The theme this year is Australia. Not entirely sure what that means, but it’s worth checking out.

Most corn mazes cost money, but if you head on over to Groupon, I’m sure there will be plenty of deals on mazes around the Twin Cities area.

4. Bonfires

If you live in Minnesota, you probably know one or 12 people that have a bonfire pit in their yard. I suggest you give them a call and start a fire TONIGHT. For real. The weather in October reaches optimists temperatures to seat yourself next to a flaming hot pile of sticks and logs. Some partake in this activity in the summer, and that seems to always be like a mistake. An 80-degree day, followed by literal fire? No thanks. But give me those 50-degree nights and the heat of a fire on me.

Bonfires set the perfect evening mood, no matter where you are. Jokes and stories are shared, and it’s the perfect even to whip out the s’mores you’ve been dying to have. I could go for one right now, however that would consist of me actually buying all the ingredients and then melting the marshmallow over a lovely blue flame over the burners on on our stove. Doesn’t quite ring true to “fall activity” if you ask me.

Some of my best times in my teenage years revolved around a bonfire. Maybe this isn’t the case for you, so now would be a great time to start some of those wonderful memories. If you live in the city, I promise you someone out there is completely willing to share their pit with you because, Minnesota nice.

5. Fall Drives

Minnesota's fall colors are one of my favorite things about the entire season. We have managed to make it to Vermont for the fall, and that was breathtaking in it's own right, but Minnesota has my heart. 

There are dozens of drives you can do throughout the state throughout the month of October. I find Explore Minnesota's site the most helpful because it gives you a good amount of drives to take part in, as well as letting you know when the drives are at their peak time. My favorite would be the Mississippi River Valley drive — number nine on the website's list. You are given beautiful views of the river as you head down south-eastern side of the state toward the beautiful bluffs in Winona, Minn. There are plenty of stops in river towns along the way, with many apple orchards to pop over too as well. 

Leaves! Leaves of all colors!

But I would also say head up north to get another great view of Minnesota's foliage. Driving along the north shore toward Duluth can be a wonderful way to experience the beauty of the trees while also catching a peek at Lake Superior. And if you are thinking more toward the center of the state, I would check out the Brainerd/Mille Lacs Lake area. There are parks you can go to that have many trails to take in all that nature has to offer. 

6. Haunted Houses

This will only be for some, but nothing says October like haunted everything. I mean, this is the month of Halloween after all. I have always enjoyed mystery/thriller books, which led into my love of scary movies. But, of course, as I've gotten older, I'm more afraid of scary movies than I used to be. Not sure why. I should be able to know that most of these things portrayed cannot actually happen. But here we are. 

I've been to my fair share of haunted houses, and I don't know if I have a favorite. There is that "scary" haunted house at the Minnesota State Fair, but that's more family friendly. Last year a few of us checked out the haunted wood walk and the indoor maze at the Trail of Terror in Shakopee, Minn. It's full of everything that makes your skin crawl. One of the other places I've been to is the Soap Factory in Minneapolis, Minn. that creates a haunted basement every year. This will make your heart stop. Seriously. 

7. Salted Caramel Mochas

This one might just for me. I have never been into Pumpkin Spice anything. Don't buy me candles, coffee or potpourri. Please. Just don't. However, I will take a delightful cup of salted caramel and chocolate. I'm not sure why this is subjected to a few weeks in the fall, but it brings me pure joy to know that I can get a cup on my birthday. I've really only found it at Starbucks, but maybe there are some local places that you know of that create this glorious creation? I'm all ears! 

8. October Birthday Freebies

You don't have to be born in October to get these wonderful birthday freebies, but since I'm born in this month, this seems like the place to put it. 

If you are a member of Starbucks, you will get a free drink on your birthday. AKA get that salted caramel mocha! I've also received free drinks from Caribou Coffee and I don't think I needed to be a member of anything. 

Dairy Queen will give you a free treat on your birthday, but you will have to sign up for their emails. A free blizzard on my birthday? I'll literally sign up for anything to partake in this. 

Benihana used to be super amazing by giving you $30 toward your entree, which essentially pays for the entire meal. The caveat is you have to bring someone that will pay full price for their meal. I used to go with a few other people and we'd all eat for free. So... if you are going anyway, this will work in your favor. 

The beauty store Sephora will give you a free gift on your birthday. Nothing big, but usually enjoyable. 

Pazzaluna, a restaurant in the lovely St. Paul, Minn., will discount your bottle of wine by your age. So when we went there for my husband's 27th birthday, we were surprised to learn we could buy a $30 bottle of wine for $3. And yes, the food is good as well. 

The list goes on, but these are my favorites. Check them out so you'll be ready for your birthday! 

BONUS: When your birthday is in October, you can have some pretty epic murder/mystery dinners. The picture below is of one of my favorite parties. And yes, that's supposed to be a dragon in the background. That I made. You're welcome. 

Murder/mystery dinner success! 

So go out there Minnesotans! Find a way to soak up what this time of year has to offer. You know snow is right around the corner, and then there's nothing you can do. 

Always, 

A