If it's such a good thing, why do I feel like crying?

Yep..... got the manager position at Panera. I should feel happy, but I feel more scared and sad if anything. haha. I'm messed up what can I say. I think it's cuz I am not supposed to be an "adult" yet, I'm not even out of my teenage years. Bah. But I was talking to Laura Koenecke and she helped me realize that it make not be the greatest thing as of now, but the whole purpose for this is to go to school, and that is something I really want. Basically she's saying I can't complain. And I agree... so with that said, I'm gonna have money to go to school!!!

Speaking of school, I went to Bethel Sunday night to go to Vespers and see Jesse and stuff. I ended up sitting with Dusty Littlefield, Jesse, Adam and Mike (I brought them) my friend Jeanna and her friend Heather. It was INSANE! I've never seen the Great Hall so packed before! And not only that but when we all started singing, wow. Just amazing. I mean I've been to Sonshine and have heard a ton of people sing at the same time, but we were all inclosed and it echoed and it was much more powerful. I was in awe the whole time. After that I followed Jeanna back to what was supposed to be "our" room. I must say, Arden Village West is cool! The floors and walls are like this wood type of thing and there's a room every couple of stairs. I liked it a lot. I also met all the other "roomies" and it was kinda awkward since I'm not their room mate anymore. I called Natalie H. afterwards and went to see her (she's directly below that room) She gave me the tour and also told me some exciting news! One of her room mates is thinking about leaving 2nd semester and she wants me to move in!! I love that she keeps offering because I would really love to live with her! We'd have so much fun together. So fingers crossed on that one. I never saw Justin but me and the boys left shortly after that since I had to be up super early the next day.

Now I've been doing some figuring out in my head (not completely accurate, but close) and I think if I pay my tuition monthly, I can make it work. Like I'd save up until school starts at the end of January. With all the money I'll save I'll be able to pay Jan., Feb., and March. I'd still need to pay for April and May but I can continue to work during those three months to save up for the other two months. That's not even including my tax returns which should be very good this year. I just have to learn to save save save! I have to make this work... I just have to. I'm also going to apply for a million scholarships and hopefully I can get one or two, which will help out. So yes, this is my life right now.. oh yah and I'm STILL waiting on my latptop! GRRR!! OH! and I have one disc left and then I'm done with first season of Lost! That's right, I'm caught up! With that I'm out!