The Story of Us

Breaking News: IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY! The day where flower prices rise 146,000% and silly gifts are given to show each other affection. 

Listen, I'm not person who needs anything on Valentine's Day. Buy me flowers on a random Monday. Take me out to dinner for a date night. Get me a card to tell me you are thinking about me on a different day. But this holiday is essentially meaningless to me. (but I full-heartedly believe that others can celebrate this day with true love. And cheers to you!)

The funny part about that statement is that I absolutely love love. Like, way too much. I'm fully invested in all things love. Movies, television shows, love in a new relationship, love at weddings and pretty much every other version of it. And my favorite love story of all, is my own. I may be biased. But I'll share it anyway, just in case you all are interested. 

Young Love 

I met my husband when I was 16 years old. Actually, maybe younger, but I didn't really get to know him until I was 16. You could say we are high school sweethearts. Our year together was full of laughing, sunshine, tubing (on the lake for those not familiar with water sports), and everything that goes with the term "young love". It was movie-worthy. 

Us at 16/17. Just babies! 

However, we dated a year and then broke up for a few different reasons. I was devastated. Our young love was wrapped around the death of his brother and filling holes in aching hearts. Not really how love at that age should start. 

The other reason our breakup caused so much heartache was that I fully believed that I was told by God himself, that I was meant for him. Not in a dream or a vision or anything epic, but a very strong feeling the first time I really spent time with him. It was overwhelming and I didn't even know how to put those feelings into words. It sounds silly to hear that I knew I was supposed to be with my husband at 16. Most high schoolers would say something like that. And really, it sounds like puppy love. And while that was apart of it, my heart knew there was a bigger picture to us. 

So when he broke up with me before spending a year in Germany for college, my whole world flipped. Hadn't God specifically told me that I was made for this man? That I was the reason we'd make it through this tough and tragic time. Clearly, I had heard God but couldn't understand what that meant at such a young age. 

Because I was convinced that we were meant to be together, we stayed friends. For six years. And I loved him the entire time. I would read through my Bible and Bible study literature to try to figure out why we weren't together. I prayed about it, journaled about it, and assumed I would be back together with this boy sooner than later. But as the years passed, we were still just friends. 

Eventually (years into the friendship zone) I made the realization that maybe what God had meant was that I was going to be important in his life for a small amount of time. Or that I was going to make an impact as a friend. It's not the answer I wanted. It's not what I wanted to accept. But the facts were in front of me. He was even so bold as to tell me in the kitchen of his parent's house, very matter-of-factly, that we would never date again. Knife. To. The. Heart.

When It All Changed 

It wasn't until I let him go, that he came back. I had finally thrown out my memorabilia box of all the things we had collected when we were together (movie stubs, photos, cards, a fork from a special dinner) and understood that God's plan for us was not what I wanted it to be. And I was willing to accept that. And funny enough, when I finally let go of my idea of God's plan for me, He revealed to me his intent. But it took me letting go of what I held on to so dearly. In Proverbs 3: 5-6 it says: 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding ; in all your ways submit to Him, and he will make your paths straight

I'm sure there are several other verses that speak to this same thing, but I had to let go and know that God had a plan. 

In March of 2010, we decided over a long talk and a few other things, that we should give a relationship another go. And it wasn't easy. How do we go back into this thing we had what basically felt like a lifetime ago? How do we find peace in what was happening and how it could end like the time before? But we did it. We managed. We got through the awkwardness. We survived the barrage of questions from friends and family. We found our footing once again. And it was better than ever. 

One of the first pictures of "us part 2"

Love and Other Things 

Almost 4 1/2 years later, he finally proposed. You must be thinking, "4 1/2 years?! Why?! How?!" Don't worry. I thought the same thing too. There were many nights that I felt doubtful, that I felt that I had stepped back into the same predicament I had been in high school. I felt like we would never move forward. I moved a few times, he was accepted to a school in Boston, I was 27 and feeling anxious. It just never seemed that we would make it work. But whoever came up with the phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder" nailed it. (update: looked it up. Apparently it was in Poetical Rhapsody in 1602. Who knew?!) Within a month of being away, he proposed. Flew home, faked me out, the whole shebang. He had even booked our wedding venue. It was magical. Surreal. Shocking. All of these things. 

Once again, I found myself knowing that it's all in God's timing. We are all foolish to believe we are the ones in control. 

A 10-year lapse photo. Same wedding venue, 10 years apart 

We were married several months later in the most enchanting place that we could have ever imagined. It was a sight to see. I had my flowing dress, the dress I had dreamed about for years since my younger years. He wore a suit that fit him like a glove. We were married under a beautiful tree with branches that bowed down and then back up, enveloping us in it's essence. Our closest friend was our pastor and spoke beautifully. The best man gave an Oscar-worthy speech and referred to our time apart as the "Great Mistake". It will be one of my most cherished days on this earth. 

One of my top photos from our wedding 

11 years after we met, we were married. Was it worth the wait? Was it worth the heartache and the tears and the sleepless nights? Yes. I'd do it all over again. Every step of it. God allowed us to grow and understand His plans for us. I am in a special place. I've known my husband for 14 years. I know his quirks, his annoyances, his aspirations, his frustrations, his heart. I get to be the person that has known this man for so long, that I've seen him grow and thrive and fall. What a gift. I fall more in love with him everyday, even when we have the bad days. Even when we sit and watch Netflix for an entire evening. 

So this post is to the man that I will continue to love for the rest of my life and then some. 

Always, 
A