The Search for Church

When you're a child, finding friends is easy. It's a fact. My niece, who recently started kindergarten, proceeded to tell me that a week into starting school that she has "like 45 friends." To be friends at that age consists of two or more children that want to play the same thing. You don't even need to know their names and yet, they are now your friends. Couldn't be easier.

As you grow older, friends are harder to find. You find a lover, create a life with them, possibly have children, or fur babies and your life fills up with that and work. I remember thinking how strange it was when I heard my friend's parents didn't have a lot of friends. I've typically been someone who has probably too many friends to the point that you can't find time to hang out with all of them.  Rough problem to have. And as I've gotten older, those friendships dissipate a bit because of the aforementioned stuff. While it's a little sad, it's just life. We are no longer in high school hanging at movie parties with a dozen people.

Now that my husband and I find ourselves across the pond, we've been determined to settle quickly. We want to find jobs, find our rhythm, and of course, find friends. But that's been harder than I would have thought. We are not bar/brewery goers. We'll go with our pre-existing friends, but it has never been our scene. My husband doesn't drink coffee, so we rarely find ourselves hanging out at coffee shops. We haven't found jobs yet, so work friends are not even an option. Housing was tough to find on campus so we found our own flat 20 minutes away. It's a lovely place, filled with skylights in every room, letting any and all light in, creating the most cozy vibe. But with that, you lose your chance to make other friends from the University. In typical rental places, neighbors keep to themselves, though I'm sure someone on the first floor is at the University as well. We might have to be the neighbors that bake something to share. I shoulda brought my apron!

And the school... let's just say Welcome Week is made purely for undergrads. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but when you attend a party where it consists of 30 18-year old boys playing video games in a small, cramped room, you start rethinking life choices. The other tough part about Welcome Week is that it's made for students and only students. They really don't like spouses to tag along. I think that bummed both me and my husband out. Shouldn't we be able to make friends and experience this new place together? Are we just too old to be in this school setting? I mean, I say yes, but that's besides the point.

So where does that leave us? Church. This is where my husband and I have spent most of our few years on earth making friends. We've essentially grown up in the church, albeit I was absent for my middle school years. But some of our longest friendships have come from the church. Youth group was probably the best thing to happen to us. When you don't party in high school and you love God, you're in a minority. When you find others in the same boat, you become friends fast. We'd have youth group on Wednesdays and Sunday school on Sunday mornings, followed by some sort of thing Sunday night. It was always a safe and comfortable place to go. Which is why I'm convinced these friendships still exist. They are held together by something bigger than us. Relationships not based on work or class or your yoga class on Tuesdays. And not that there is anything wrong with those friendships, nor is it impossible that you can meet some of your dearest friends in these situations. But for me, church has been my safe place.

A very beautiful church near our flat. Not one I've attended, but I'm happy to stare at it

But the search for the "right" church (whatever that means) takes time. We've been to a new church every Sunday. And the stories are memorable.

College Church

This was our first church experience in Edinburgh. We went to a little church fair outside of the university library and this place offered us breakfast before the service. My husband was sold on that alone. We were brought to a flat where we met a few more people. Everyone was very nice! The church service was comfortable for me and I liked the way it was set up. The pastor was understandable (which is hard with those thick Scottish accents some people have) and the vibe was something I was used to. Of course, this church couldn't be farther from our home. So the search continues.

The Church Of the Lifers

For me, this church was the hardest to feel comfortable in. I wished that time machines were real so I could go 20 seconds back in time and not go into the building. While I didn't like the color scheme going on, the hardest part was the congregation, which seemed to consist of less than 50 people, were  a few parents, small children, and people who have probably been going to that church for 50 years. Age isn't the problem. I think it's wonderful to find a church that has a diverse congregation. You can learn so much from their lives. However, when there's no middle group, it's tough. I don't think the older woman behind us was ever going to become my best friend in Scotland. Anyway, everyone was very nice, but I found myself itching to get out. Probably not the best sign. Upward and onward!

The Liveliest Bunch of Them All

The most recent church visit about 20-30 min walk from our place. Much closer than college church. And when we came in, the essence of the church felt right. Right lighting, right vibe, right colors, right amount of diversity. People came up to us and chatted. One man told us we were brave for coming in. Why? Because we were at a charismatic church. In plain English, this church feels moved by the presence of God to sing loud, clap, dance, pray, etc etc. There were people coming up and singing songs that were made up on the fly, people wth some sort of colorful flag they were swinging  around, and a large group of small children that wandered everywhere thoughout the main area, even up on the stage. Super distracting and super weird feeling when it's not the church you're used to. Once we settled into the actual sermon portion and the children went off to Sunday school, the room settled and I felt relaxed. Unfortunately, it might be a bit much for my comfort levels.

While we're feeling like the college church is our best bet, we still might check out another place or two. I know we'll find a place we love, I'm just hoping the process isn't much longer. Good thing we have friends from back home visiting soon! Ha!

Always,
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