I think I've uttered those words all summer long. It's probably common for most people. School's out, people are taking vacations, seeing family and friends, drinking up all that glorious good weather. It makes sense. And for me, we have just moved back from Scotland, started a new job that takes up a lot of my day, trying to touch base with our many many friends, taking vacations, figuring out a workout schedule that coincides with the rest of my life, oh, and yes, trying to find time to blog.
Now, none of those things are bad. I'm so happy to be home and working at a job that challenges me and lets me use my talents. And we have so many friends and family that we love and care about and want to spend quality time with. Working out is important for my mental and physical health, and blogging... well blogging is something I'm passionate about.
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| Just a glimpse into our summer |
Even though these are all "good" things... can it be too much? Can too much good actually be bad?
I've noticed throughout the summer that each week feels more and more exhausting than the last. Work takes up so much time that I really have to choose if I'm going to work out, or see people. And whatever I choose, I have very few hours left before I should go to bed. For my lovely readers, you'll have noticed I haven't blogged all summer long (basically taking a hiatus to regroup) because there is no time to blog. There is no time to read, write, pray, etc. etc. Which to me means, I'm overbooked. I think the "good" busy has turned into a "bad" busy.
In Minnesota, once the State Fair wraps up, it's fall. We don't care what the rest of the country says. Fall has to be a time we look at our busy summer lives and drill down on getting back into things. Structure has to be restored. So how do we take our wonderfully hectic lives, and make it into something that's still fun, but more controlled? I can't say I'm an expert at this. In fact, the suggestions I'm about to make, are things I'm going to try this year to find a peaceful balance of rest and busy.
Say No
This has got to be one of the hardest tasks for me. Someone wants to have dinner with us? My nieces and nephews have been asking to see us? There's a great happy hour at a taco bar? It's someone's birthday at work? There's a group of people camping for the weekend? All summer I've filled up all of my free time saying yes. And there were some days where I felt bad about it, knowing that I wanted to make that barbell class or needed to grocery shop or make dinner. But it gets pushed to the wayside. But if saying yes is killing you, it's time to say no.
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| The scary part is, these are only the things I remembered to add to the calendar! |
You can't do it all. You can't be there for everyone all the time. You can't schedule your life out like I did this past August (here's a glimpse into what MY summer looked like. I might be insane). And some things we did weren't even scheduled on that calendar. If anyone else's schedule looks like mine, you may need help!
Maybe your goal this month should be, say "no" to one person. Reschedule. Find another time to see them. Hey, if they like you enough, it won't be a big deal. Especially if you come up with an alternative time to do something. But know that your mental/physical wellbeing requires rest.
Calendar Prep
So many Instagrammers and Bloggers and Pinterest posts are about meal-prepping on Sundays so your week is figured out. While I have yet to master that (Sundays are my weekend too, I want to keep doing things!), it's a great way for people to utilize their time and be ready for the week ahead.
This should be the same for your calendar.
Why shouldn't we plan our week out? If we can do it with food, we can do it with the rest of our life. Here's my advice: On Sunday, take a look at your week. Schedule your workouts or things for your kids that are a must. Let's face it, there are going to be events that you have a commitment to. Then, if time permits, schedule one or two things where you get to see people.
Your schedule may change and you may see someone or do something last minute, but you'll have the freedom to do that because you haven't over-committed yourself. Case in point: we celebrated my niece's birthday over Labor Day weekend. Because of our insane August, we decided to not schedule too much where we'd be running from one thing to the next. When her birthday party was wrapping up, we noticed how hot and sunny it was. This is the perfect combination for some boating. Because of our flexibility in our schedule, we were able to have my family out on the boat and took the kids tubing. It was an unscheduled event that worked.
And make sure to schedule rest. It seems funny to have to block out time to "rest", but as I have seen throughout the summer, my times of rest and relaxation were quickly filled with other activities. That's what I feel so dead. That's why I feel like I can't recharge. Just like your phone needs to be plugged in, we need to be reenergized by rest. It's hard to do. But you will thank yourself later if you allow this to take place. Start by scheduling a time once a week to rest. I think you'll be amazed how great you feel. Take the time to pray, read, paint, or whatever thing helps you relax and that boosts your overall wellbeing.
Revisit
Give yourself a few weeks of saying no and scheduling your calendar with both fun and rest. After that time, sit down and think about how this time period has worked for you. It's important to modify if things still feel hectic or if you don't feel fulfilled. Do you still feel stressed out about the amount of stuff there is on your calendar? Cut more out. Do you find yourself feeling bored and unmotivated, using television or games on your phone to fill up your "rest" time. Add a few more events to your week.
It's hard to know what the right balance is. I think that's why it's great to look at your schedule week to week so you can adjust as you go. And you have to be prepared for some weeks to feel overwhelmingly busy (Susie has three nights of basketball practice AND a scrimmage? There are three weddings this weekend?!) Those types of situations are hard to avoid, but if you know ahead of time that that week will be busier than normal, make sure to give yourself even more time for rest the following week.
Where to Save Time
Okay. So now you know what you need to do, but you may still feel that your calendar is still too busy. My schedule feels never-ending because even if I take out the busyness of friends and events, there's still the laundry list of, well, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, making food, picking up something from Target (aka my drug of choice location), etc. etc. Everyone has their own list of things that have to get done weekly.
Grocery shop online. This has been a lifesaver for me. I cannot reiterate this enough. At first I thought this was the lazy way to shop, but really, you're saving time by not wandering aisle after aisle and waiting in a checkout line. I've only done it once, but I plan to do it more in the future.
Meal Prep. I am terrible at this, but I think it helps in the long run. Find a day (weeknight or weekend) where you can sit down and plan out meals. Once you've done that, and done your online grocery shopping, you can prep as much as you can for your breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Cut up those veggies and the meat. Mix things together so they can be thrown in the crockpot/oven when needed. This is especially helpful if you and your spouse don't get home until later in the evening.
Limit Kid's Activities. While my husband and I don't have kids yet, we know from our many friends, they end up running from one event to the next for their kids. The more children you have, the harder it is to get them where they need to be. One couple we know allows their kids to be in one activity. The kids have to choose what they care most about and then do that, whether it's softball, soccer, dance, etc. Some of those might be more time consuming, but then your life is not overrun seven days a week. I promise, it'll make a difference.
Shop Online. There is something that is nice about going to a mall and trying things on before you bring it home. I don't meander shop, I get in and get out. But getting to the mall feels harder and harder these days. I nannied for a family a few years back, and the mom online shopped. She had two boys that could care less about going to the store. On top of that, she worked hard at her job and spent extra time seeing friends, working out, and attending as many school activities as possible. She was the definition of busy, but did a great job at it. I hope to be her some day.
With that busy of a schedule, she bought things online and tried it in the comfort of her home. So many companies offer free shipping that it doesn't cost you anything extra to do it this way. Not having to get to a mall between the hours of 10-6pm makes it so much easier. Granted, you really have to know styles you like and what is flattering on you, but this could end up saving you a lot of time. Plus, you don't have to pack the kids in the car and bring them all to the mall. It's a win-win.
There are dozens of other suggestions to make your schedule work for you. Don't feel overwhelmed on trimming your schedule by making 100 changes at once, try one or two things and you'll notice a difference right away. Good luck to those that try this out, I hope it works! If you have any other suggestions, please share. I'm always looking for ways to not live such a chaotic life.
Always,
A
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