The big day is coming!! Soon I will have a yes or a no, and the wait is killing me. I'm kind of scared though. I don't think I can handle a no. But I don't know if I can handle a yes. I feel like i'm in Purgatory. It's a nerve wracking feeling! I know half of you have no idea what I'm talking about, but there was no point in saying anything until I have my answer! (And no it's nothing bad!!) So here I sit... with my patience patience patience.
YAY WEDNESDAY!
<3>
Monday, October 29, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Flibertygibbet
Ahh.... nothing says blog than an insane comment from Ryan, speaking about a crazy aunt. (hah Kara)
I know I know I know. I take forever to write. I don't know what's become of me! a WEEK to write about the best weekend in the world?? And now another best weekend to follow that previous weekend? Oh man, am I behind.
My Birthday was absolutely amazing. There were some kinks as usual (whoever expects a perfect anything is crazzzzzy) but there was an overall satisfied feeling. Thanks to EVERYONE who went to the 3-part Extravganga (I know it's mispelled, it's an inside joke) and for everyone who facebooked me, called me, texted me, IMed me, and so forth. =) So I must say again, Birthdays are the best!!! So yah, bascially there was about 25 of us at dinner that night, followed by an awesome concert from Switchfoot and Relient K. There were so many people, and Kara and I got pretty close!! And of course Sarah and Phil were there, so that's always fun. Still haven't had a real chance to TALK with Phil, but that chance will come. I wanna get to know him if he is gonna be a big part in Sarah's life. But anyway, after the concert, we went back to the hotel room that we had rented out for all of us to sleep over in. It was sweet because the rooms were like $200 rooms but because my friend Allison has a policeman as a father, we got a distcount of about $140!! It was soo nice. WE swam and Justin and Zach tried to teach Kara and I how to save them if they were to drown. At one point I was just slightly kicking Zach under water and Justin just had to laught at me. Another time I watched Justin "drown" and Zach was like hurry Amy! You have to save him and all I said was "I don't wanna save him". Haha. All in fun and games of course. Then when I went upstairs there were a ton of balloons and streamers and fruit snacks and pop and Krispi Kreme donuts, and it was just all so sweet of everyone. I had a really good time! We also played a couple of games of Mafia. Those were fun, especially when Molly kept saying key things in the game, so we'd have to start all over. It was absolutely funny! She laughed too. But yah! Most people left around 3:30 AM, but still paid me for the hotel, which was really sweet of everyone. Then Kara, Nate, and I fell into an amazing deep sleep into the pillow-top matresses! My bday continued the next day with a breakfast (that Nate paid for!) a movie with the Knapp family (no birthday is exceptional until you see the Knapps) and then I went to my mom's friend's barn party and then out to dinner with my brother and his wife, my parents, holly and Andrew, and Nate. It was awesome to see my brother and sister-in-law cuz I never get to see them. Then my mom had cake and I went home! Talk about a busy weekend!!!
The week was even crazier! Tuesday was Adam's birthday so Jen and I "kidnapped" him from work (we blindfolded him) and took him to Don Pablos where a bunch of us were waiting for him! yay! That was a really fun night. Then I had a bunch of people over on Wednesday to hang out and eat pasta and watch a movie (Mr. Brooks is a fantastic movie by the way, in case anyone wants to see it) Thursday was normal Grey's Anatomy night, followed by a wonderful sleepover at Jen's!
Friday was awesome because Zach, Erica, and Kristin Hoyles all decided to go to this thing downtown called The Soap Factory, and bascially they had created a haunted house downstairs! It was super fun and scary!! There were clowns, creepers standing in the dark, a girl who looked like she was from the Ring, chained to something, etc. I could go on, but it'd go on forever. Then we went out to Jen's house and Ali was waiting there for me!! I had NO idea!!! It was so exciting to see her and I jumped up on her and hugged her until she told me to get off. Haha. Then later that night I was playing ping-pong and this boy came to the basement window and started saying "Hi, I'm the neigbor from down...." and that's when it hit me, it was MASON!!! And for a refresher, Mason is Laura Koenecke's boyfriend and they BOTH live in Nebraska. So to see him at Jen's door, well... was insane! I knew then that Laura was here so I litterally went "EEEEEEE!!" And pushed him aside and ran out the door and found Laura! I hugged her like crazy and we were just laughing and being all excited. lol. It was just an awesome night and I didn't expect any of them to be there. Sure, I had to work in the morning, but it was worth being tired. It was like my birthday continued into the next weekend. I'm sooo glad I got to see both of them. I couldn't contain myself!! Anyway, I better jump to Saturday. Saturday we carved pumpkins at Adam's mom's house and ugh! It was just great. When I got there, I felt so safe and comfortable. I felt like I had walked back in time and was 16 again, where there were no worries and no friends that were not with us anymore. I wanted to stay there forever. We ate dinner and hung out, and carved pumpkins (mine wasn't too bad! It was winking! And for my third pumpkin ever, I say yes) lol. Everyone did a good job with their pumpkins, even though Anna cut herself! Silly girl. But I got to have some quality time with her, which is always wanted! Oh! And she had her wedding pictures in an album so I got to go through that. =)
So now here I sit on Sunday! It's been such a crazy week that I can't even shorten this blog. I apologize. I want to go on and talk about what it feels like to be 21, but I shouldn't. Not in this already extremely long blog. The last thing I will say is that Zach and I got tickets to the Lion King! YAY! It'll be a lot of fun and I can't wait to go! Justin and Adam inspired me to go. Haha. So i'm out! Goodbye all!!
<3>
I know I know I know. I take forever to write. I don't know what's become of me! a WEEK to write about the best weekend in the world?? And now another best weekend to follow that previous weekend? Oh man, am I behind.
My Birthday was absolutely amazing. There were some kinks as usual (whoever expects a perfect anything is crazzzzzy) but there was an overall satisfied feeling. Thanks to EVERYONE who went to the 3-part Extravganga (I know it's mispelled, it's an inside joke) and for everyone who facebooked me, called me, texted me, IMed me, and so forth. =) So I must say again, Birthdays are the best!!! So yah, bascially there was about 25 of us at dinner that night, followed by an awesome concert from Switchfoot and Relient K. There were so many people, and Kara and I got pretty close!! And of course Sarah and Phil were there, so that's always fun. Still haven't had a real chance to TALK with Phil, but that chance will come. I wanna get to know him if he is gonna be a big part in Sarah's life. But anyway, after the concert, we went back to the hotel room that we had rented out for all of us to sleep over in. It was sweet because the rooms were like $200 rooms but because my friend Allison has a policeman as a father, we got a distcount of about $140!! It was soo nice. WE swam and Justin and Zach tried to teach Kara and I how to save them if they were to drown. At one point I was just slightly kicking Zach under water and Justin just had to laught at me. Another time I watched Justin "drown" and Zach was like hurry Amy! You have to save him and all I said was "I don't wanna save him". Haha. All in fun and games of course. Then when I went upstairs there were a ton of balloons and streamers and fruit snacks and pop and Krispi Kreme donuts, and it was just all so sweet of everyone. I had a really good time! We also played a couple of games of Mafia. Those were fun, especially when Molly kept saying key things in the game, so we'd have to start all over. It was absolutely funny! She laughed too. But yah! Most people left around 3:30 AM, but still paid me for the hotel, which was really sweet of everyone. Then Kara, Nate, and I fell into an amazing deep sleep into the pillow-top matresses! My bday continued the next day with a breakfast (that Nate paid for!) a movie with the Knapp family (no birthday is exceptional until you see the Knapps) and then I went to my mom's friend's barn party and then out to dinner with my brother and his wife, my parents, holly and Andrew, and Nate. It was awesome to see my brother and sister-in-law cuz I never get to see them. Then my mom had cake and I went home! Talk about a busy weekend!!!
The week was even crazier! Tuesday was Adam's birthday so Jen and I "kidnapped" him from work (we blindfolded him) and took him to Don Pablos where a bunch of us were waiting for him! yay! That was a really fun night. Then I had a bunch of people over on Wednesday to hang out and eat pasta and watch a movie (Mr. Brooks is a fantastic movie by the way, in case anyone wants to see it) Thursday was normal Grey's Anatomy night, followed by a wonderful sleepover at Jen's!
Friday was awesome because Zach, Erica, and Kristin Hoyles all decided to go to this thing downtown called The Soap Factory, and bascially they had created a haunted house downstairs! It was super fun and scary!! There were clowns, creepers standing in the dark, a girl who looked like she was from the Ring, chained to something, etc. I could go on, but it'd go on forever. Then we went out to Jen's house and Ali was waiting there for me!! I had NO idea!!! It was so exciting to see her and I jumped up on her and hugged her until she told me to get off. Haha. Then later that night I was playing ping-pong and this boy came to the basement window and started saying "Hi, I'm the neigbor from down...." and that's when it hit me, it was MASON!!! And for a refresher, Mason is Laura Koenecke's boyfriend and they BOTH live in Nebraska. So to see him at Jen's door, well... was insane! I knew then that Laura was here so I litterally went "EEEEEEE!!" And pushed him aside and ran out the door and found Laura! I hugged her like crazy and we were just laughing and being all excited. lol. It was just an awesome night and I didn't expect any of them to be there. Sure, I had to work in the morning, but it was worth being tired. It was like my birthday continued into the next weekend. I'm sooo glad I got to see both of them. I couldn't contain myself!! Anyway, I better jump to Saturday. Saturday we carved pumpkins at Adam's mom's house and ugh! It was just great. When I got there, I felt so safe and comfortable. I felt like I had walked back in time and was 16 again, where there were no worries and no friends that were not with us anymore. I wanted to stay there forever. We ate dinner and hung out, and carved pumpkins (mine wasn't too bad! It was winking! And for my third pumpkin ever, I say yes) lol. Everyone did a good job with their pumpkins, even though Anna cut herself! Silly girl. But I got to have some quality time with her, which is always wanted! Oh! And she had her wedding pictures in an album so I got to go through that. =)
So now here I sit on Sunday! It's been such a crazy week that I can't even shorten this blog. I apologize. I want to go on and talk about what it feels like to be 21, but I shouldn't. Not in this already extremely long blog. The last thing I will say is that Zach and I got tickets to the Lion King! YAY! It'll be a lot of fun and I can't wait to go! Justin and Adam inspired me to go. Haha. So i'm out! Goodbye all!!
<3>
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
A chance
So this an extremely different tone than last night, but I have some hopefully exciting news!!!
At work yesterday I found this magazine on the table called "Radio" and then I found out it was published in Minnesota (Dave Ryan was on the cover) so I took down the name of the Editor or whoever she was, and e-mailed her this morning. Well I ran a couple of errands and by the time I came back, she had already e-mailed me!!! She said she's sending my letter to a managing editor and she'll be in touch with me! They do have an internship program and I could probably do it over the summer! Isn't that exciting?? I mean I've really come to the conclusion that I wanna write for magazines if I stay in the journalism realm, and this would be a perfect opportunity. Like it would be a really cool internship to work for Seventeen Magazine, but this way I could start small, preferably in the same state. Baby steps right? Ahhhh!! i'm pumped. Now I just have to get writing again (I already have some ideas going for the radio at Bethel, and I'm going to our meeting to get a story on Thursday) So yah.... That is my exciting news and I hope everyone can be super excited with me!!
All that I know is I'm breathing... now
Nope, not the birthday rant and how wonderful all things are when it's that time of year. Just a thought process tonight. A very needed process that just happens and will continue to happen since I continue my habitual habit.
I can't tell whether I pushed too hard or not enough. Did I give up the good fight, or did I just stop? I can't think sometimes. It's easier to not think. Maybe I'm just not that person. It makes me think of all my insecurites, and then i have to sigh... and just keep breathing.
I don't know whether I should keep fighting or lay back and accept what things are. Nothing ever seems to work. Sometimes I get the picture of a dog, lying beside his owner, who is no longer breathing. He just sits there, waiting patiently for his owner. But it's a lost cause. Is it sweet or is it a lost cause? I know I'm in one of those moods where everything is a deep thought, but it needs to happen so you can evaluate your life and your friendships. So I might be over analyzing, but I don't think so.
JUST CALL
Two words can change so many things. So many feelings. So many thoughts. Just so many things. Don't lie about it. Don't cover up with excuses, be straight up with me. Dont' come to my birthday with your fake gestures and your fake friendship. Don't call me unless you intend to talk to ME. I accept babysteps. I really do. Anything is good. Let's just start with the calling (cuz you've already made some progress, and I feel like I should tell you "good boy" and pat you on the head like I would my dog.) Degrading yes, but maybe it'll make sense. I wanna talk to you and tell you the biggest things in my life, but you don't wanna listen. Why? Your one of the people I'm dying to tell, but I shouldn't waste my breath. You'll just say "oh."
~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
My birthday is coming up. I'm more excited than ever. I love birthdays, I always have. There is usually something that always goes wrong, so I can't get my hopes up for a normal birthday, but the thought is there. i'm excited. I get to see almost all the people that I love and cherish.
And the people I can't... I know they mean well and they send me their best. It works. I love my friends. I'm going to be 21, a much celebrated year with alcohol and congrats and all that fluffy stuff. It's my golden birthday too. It makes me want to be little again, where all I wanted was my sister. My twin. I have this odd feeling for her right now, something feels like it's tuggin at my heart for her. Must be that twin thing. It does happen to us, those moments where we can sense each other. I'm having one of those...
And the people I can't... I know they mean well and they send me their best. It works. I love my friends. I'm going to be 21, a much celebrated year with alcohol and congrats and all that fluffy stuff. It's my golden birthday too. It makes me want to be little again, where all I wanted was my sister. My twin. I have this odd feeling for her right now, something feels like it's tuggin at my heart for her. Must be that twin thing. It does happen to us, those moments where we can sense each other. I'm having one of those...Don't get me wrong, I'm not down, i'm not heartbroken.... i'm just thinking. Thinking out loud to the people who read this, who want to know what's going on. 
And that's what i do. I'm an open book.... you all should know that by now. Who would want to read something taht was just a summary of my life? I wouldn't even want to write that. Journals aren't always meant for that. Good yes, it helps me with my book, but it changes.... yah know??
And that's what i do. I'm an open book.... you all should know that by now. Who would want to read something taht was just a summary of my life? I wouldn't even want to write that. Journals aren't always meant for that. Good yes, it helps me with my book, but it changes.... yah know?? **The pictures are just because... I dunno.. I love them and i love watching things change (sometimes for the better, sometiems for the worse) but I guess in the end.... change is inevitable....
I will end with my usual YAY for life and I'm just glad that life is and will work itself out. And only because of One person....
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