Forgiven so that I can forgive

That's the theme of my blog tonight. There is nothing that happened tonight that made me want to write such a blog, but it's a song that hit me and I really felt like writing it.

The song is from Delirious and it's called "Majesty/Here I Am" and there is a line in the song that goes like this

Here I am, humbled by the love that You give,
Forgiven so that I can forgive.
So here I stand, knowing that I am Your desire,
Sanctified by glory and fire.

These words mean a lot to me, and I think we forget what that second line really means. In everyday language it means to let someone off the hook for something. And even in those terms we usually don't do that to the full extent. We still hold it against that certain person when we get mad or we think about it and get angered by the thought of it. What does forgiveness really mean? Complete and Honest forgiveness of the wrong-doings of someone else against you? The act of forgetting because why? And so I went to the Bible to find versus that moved me. Like this one in Chronicles:

14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

2 Chronicles 7:14

21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Matthew 18:21-22

I'm sure that there are more, but it is 3:30AM and I am getting tired. But I mean look at these statements. Look at what we are asked to do! God FORGAVE and by that he took away all of our sin. We are FORGIVEN. Are we even capable of such forgiveness?

The dictionary term, or what wiki says is that "Forgiveness is the process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution." Wow. Ceasing to demand punishment. Sometimes I don't think we can even understand what God is saying to us. If He can forgive this nasty world of all the sins that we can possibly come up with, how then can we sit back and hold a grudge on a lie that was told??

I'm not saying that if someone does something bad against us that we can't be mad, or that we can't take some time apart, but I've realized that not only does the other person feel great once forgiveness, TRUE forgiveness is given, but You feel good. It is something that weighs down on you if you are not careful. I mean in my life I've taken some pretty big steps in forgiving certain people. And while I forgive them, I still hold it against them. I still take that moment that hurt me and rub it in their face. So really I'm running around calling it something that it really isn't. But tonight after hearing that song, I think I'm ready to forgive, or at least truly forgive.

Does any of this make any sense? All that I'm saying is that those few lines really touched me tonight, and I felt that forgiving is one of the hardest and best things to do. So if there is at least one thing that you really can't just let go, I encourage you to lift it up to God and ask for His strength to really forgive. It'll be hard, but sooo worth it in the end!

Alright, night wonderful friends!

Amy

One Week Later

This week, oh this week. I've had such a wonderful week. This is the happiest I've been in a long time. EVEN HAPPIER then when I was kissing a certain boy... and those were happy times. lol.


Let's see, there was surgery one week ago today, which I'll go into detail on my other blog, and it was great. Who knew that I'd handle it sooo well?? Holly babied me all the way home and I pretty much slept for like the first two days. It was really great though. I mean I feel so rested that it's unbelievable! I haven't had time off from work AND school in years for this long! I can't even remember when this last occurred! It was something that was needed. Anyway, the pain has significantly decreased and I've even stopped all my pain meds! Go me!

I think the biggest thing is that my confidence has sky rocketed. It's bizarre. Like by having this surgery, I feel like I actually LOOK decent in clothes again. I really didn't think that was possible. I mean by no means am I "fat" but.... I have a WAIST and an hourglass figure, and heck, I'll take that over my box frame any day! ANY day. I just feel alive. It wasn't noticeable (fully anyway) until today I think. Today was a cold day. As always this is usually a perfect excuse for me to slip on a sweatshirt. But I decided no, why would I do such a silly thing? So instead I jumped right into a wonderfully yellow collared shirt. This may sound like a normal decision, but it's not; not for me. The stunning part is that I wasn't afraid of too much cleavage or looking gross in my shirt or being misshapen in my clothes. I felt that I actually looked good. I don't know when I've uttered that statement to myself. It's crazy. I could seriously ramble on and on about this forever, so i'll stop here for now. Just know that this may be one of the best decisions of my life. I would do it all over again if I had to. Pain is good when it ends with these resutls!

My week was also good because Adam and Nate and my Daddy bought me flowers, I had tons of visitors, and Seward just proved her best friendness once more. It was impossible for me to shower and I was on Day 5 and wonderful Seward pretty much bathed me. And combed my hair. And dressed me. And drove me around so I could actually leave me house and get fresh air and see people! It was so great of her. And it was nice to just giggle with her and have her around like that. I've been missing that I think. But we got lunch with Adam and Justin and I got to sit out in the sunshine and bask in it's wonderfulness. Then... we played cards. I'm always fond of cards.

So much else happened but it probably isn't too exciting for my readers. They've prob. already lost interest. I just keep writing though. I can't help it. I don't even know how to shorten what I say. My blog is just mashed with everything that I can possibly think of or whatever my fingers decide to type. I'd apologize but you guys knew what you were getting in to when you first signed on this silly thing way back in 2005. So I just smile.... and continue to write.

Long story short, I've got to see a lot of my friends while getting a full night's rest and having me time. Me time... I forgot what that was like. I'm free to do whatever whenever I want! I mean, I haven't set an alarm in over a week! How exciting is that?! It all ends.... uh... Sunday I think, but it's been so wonderful and I thank God for time.

And to end all of this on a happy note: I love love. I don't have a new love, but that's kinda not what I'm talking about. The love I'm talking about is in life. It's the love for my car and driving. It's the love for my wonderful friends who never cease to amaze me. It's for my Mom who really became a Mommy these last two weeks. It's the love for sunshine and for sleep. I'm just thrilled with the life that is in front of me! Yay!

Have a wonderful summer week people! Even the rain shouldn't make you frown. It's just making everything that much greener!

Amy <3

P.S.- Jen exists in my life again in less than 3 days. Wow.