Funny how the word commitment has "commit me" in it. That's what it is sometimes apparently. To be committed means that you are stuck in this place forever and you aren't sure you wanna be there forever. You were thinking of maybe wading around for a while and getting out of there before you are consumed in the water.
For some reason commitment has never been an issue for me. Okay, so maybe not in relationships. Except I've been pretty committed in going to school. And pretty committed to keeping most of my friends. And committed to writing a book. So you know what? I love commitment. I love the idea of having something and going for it. Yah, it's hard, and yah, it takes a while, but it's so worth it in the end. There is a huge reward for accomplishing the commitment you had signed up for. Did I really want to be royalty in high school? noooooo. But I did it. And in the end, I walked out with a great friend and some crazy experiences for my life. I've also been pretty committed to writing this blog. Some days its hard, and I don't feel interesting and I don't have great ideas to write about like other people, but man... I can look back into my life and see exactly what I was doing and how I was feeling, and how I've changed. That's worth everything.
Where is this coming from? Well I've become the only person ready for a commitment. The room mate calls it courage, I call it a freak accident. Does it stem all the way back to my parents not having a great marriage for most of my childhood? That commitment needs to mean more than just words on a piece of paper and an idea?
According to Wikipedia.com commitment is : "means to show loyalty, duty or pledge to something or someone." Don't we do that everyday? We pick our families cuz that's the right thing to do. We keep our friends because they become our allies in this life. We sign leases, buy cars, buy pets, go to school, make a career decision, etc.
Of course this has made me curious. What does the bible have to say about all this ? Well in Jeremiah 30:21 it says "Who is he who will devote himself to be close to me?" God knew that it wasn't going to be easy for His children to devote, or commit their lives to him. But that's what it is. And while that is the scariest of scary things to do, we do it because we want a relationship with our Father. Maybe some people are doing that for the wrong reason. They are making this "commitment" because they see the reward in the end... heaven. But God will know the difference. He will know the real reasons and the real motives you had for doing things. And with human relationships and commitments, we will never know. I will never know if people commit to one another for the right reasons. Let's hope that they do.
How is it possible that so many people around me have a problem with it? It's not even like guys are afraid of it and girls want it, but it's on both sides. I'm not sure if I'm just mature for my generation or what. Probably not because plenty of my friends are married with children, or children on the way. They obviously welcome commitment in their homes.
The one problem to commitment is being committed to someone who isn't sure about commitment. It's the trap door in the whole idea. For while I'm committed to someone the rest of my life, that person may never ever commit and we are stuck forever. I'm not saying this is the case, but... who knows?
Maybe I should just be... committed. heh.
Love
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