When All Your Dreams Come True

October 13th, 2013... what a magical and wonderful and surprising day.

My darlingest friend Ali (aka first ever college roommate) was in town to celebrate my birthday week early and we had a great time hanging out and catching up on Glee (RIP Cory Monteith.. ugh... cried my eyes out). Anywho, Justin and I always have our FaceTime dates/ bible studies on Sunday, so he told me to call him when I was home after dropping off Ali at the airport. Apparently he had some plans with some friends later that night and needed to do our study early. As I was driving home, I chose to call my mom and figure out birthday plans for the following weekend. After a few minutes of talking, she suddenly had to hang up on me. I thought "weird" but honestly gave it no more thought. She ended up calling me back, not really giving a reason why she hung up, but then quickly asked when I'd be home. Strange question considering I don't live with her and I wasn't planning on coming over. I then said "I am not babysitting," thinking she wanted me to watch Holly's kids while they did something. She said no and I quickly forgot about it.

I got to the Knapps house (where I am currently living) and went downstairs to text Justin and wait for his call. He texted me and said it'd be a few minutes. As I was hanging out downstairs, I heard one of his parents come into the house. But as I heard the footsteps, I knew it wasn't his mom because she walks slower. I knew it wasn't his dad because  you can hear him going "clomp clomp stomp clomp" everywhere. The person started to come down the stairs, and I just waited to see it was. Suddenly, Justin's head popped around the corner.

My mouth dropped. "You are NOT here right now!" He smiled at me and walked into the living room and got down on one knee. This is it. This is what I've been waiting for for ten years. Well... i guess less than that, but honest to God I knew I was supposed to be in his life when I met him. His smile was perfect. It was genuine; full of excitement and maybe a dash of fear. "Just wait... I wrote you something" he said, still on his one knee. Tears welled up in my eyes and as he began to read what he wrote for me. I barely remember it.

A little bit into it, I asked him if I could hug him. I did and kissed him and finally backed away. "I have to sit down" I told him as he continued to read. I felt like I was going to faint. It was all happening so fast and I was so excited and nervous! Finally,  he pulled out the box with the ring, asked me to stand and officially asked me to marry him. I said yes. Twice!

The Man, The Ring

We sat on the couch and I geeked out over what had just happened. Then, he dropped the bomb. He had booked the venue we both wanted. I saw that the day we were hoping would be available when we finally got engaged had booked a few weeks prior, and my heart was shattered. Not because I'm that shallow about a wedding and that it has to be perfect, but it was more of us running out of time if we wanted to get married next spring. But, he told me to trust him, and I did. So before even 20 minutes of being engaged, we had a venue booked and ready for us May 18th, 2014.

It was then I realized, I still hadn't put on the ring! I hadn't even LOOKED at it! I was so excited that this was finally happening. That the person, who is my best friend and my companion in life, asked me to marry him. It had nothing to do with the ring or the wedding or anything. It was about the love that he wants to give to me for the rest of his life. Nothing is more special than that. It still makes me smile and get butterflies in my stomach. well, as luck would have it... the ring was perfect and beautiful in every way. Shiny, good size, solitaire. And guess what? Women always worry about what their ring looks like, the size, the color, but is it about that? Not for me. It's now just a symbol on my hand for the world to see. Now that's beauty.

It's pretty much been a whirlwind ever since. When you think "May 18th" you think you have plenty of time. But almost everyone you talk to (bridal gown consultants, caterers, photographers, hair stylists) are already booking up and needing you to figure things out now. What a crazy world. Lucky for me, Justin was home the entire week. We were graciously provided impromptu engagement photos with the lovely Megan, hammered out a guest list, got a general idea of what we want for our wedding, made our own timeline since he won't be here for most of the months, got our marriage counselor all figured out, picked our wedding party, and picked John as our officiant.

The beginning of planning....

Those are the key ingredients. Honestly, if the food falls through or people don't come because it's a few hours from the city, so what. I have this godly man presented in front of me, and you better believe I'm walking down that aisle (aka grassy spot) to marry him, with or without anything else.

Anyway, I never expected Justin to surprise me like this. I knew he had a reading week/fall break, but he said he was busy. It was a perfect week with him. He unfortunately won't be back until Christmas, but I have plenty to do before that. The week was filled with visiting friends, telling people the news, everything else I mentioned above, and just spending time with my ... FIANCE :)

Oh yah, it was also my birthday yesterday. And ya know what? I got to try on my first ever wedding dress! What a crazy experience. I also realized that this is my last birthday as a Vergin. What a drug trip. But I'm ready. I'm ready to be his wife.

I don't even know what else to mention! I cannot believe it's all here and happening. I do feel bad because now my posts will be wedding-related (with hopefully other things) but yah... it pretty much takes over. Which hey, I guess it's not so bad ;)

Always,
A

Love and Other Things

Last night I had my weekly "visit the fam" night which pretty much entails with me playing with Evelyn the whole night. This was actually a special night because my dad is finally home from rehab! But as I pulled into the neighborhood, I saw Evelyn, Andrew, and Holly at the park so I pulled over and Evelyn lit up like a candle! So then I ate my sandwich (late dinner after a workout...totally necessary) and we ran around and went down slides and laughed. She is darling and precious and don't worry, I have PHOTOS. :) 

Just being our silly selves

Look at that pout!

Aren't they wonderful? Honestly I don't know what life would be like if she weren't here. She's amazing and wonderful and full of life. And I know I've said this before, but I am honored to be able to have this time with her before my own kids pop up out of nowhere. No! Not anytime soon. If I had kids soon... well I'd have a lot of questions to ask God about. Anyway, I love thinking about what Evelyn will be like as she gets older, starts school, and starts to become a woman of God. I can't wait to be apart of it all! There is also a picture of her and her gpa (AKA my dad) that was adorable, but maybe I'll post it later. They were cuddling in a big chair watching her favorite TV show "Bubble Guppies". I found them like that and had to take a picture. It'll be something she treasures when she gets older and he inevitably passes away.

I told her to smile. Nice V

Anyway, speaking of my dad, yes, he is back! And seems pretty happy to be home. Although he did say he'd miss having a maid and someone make him food everyday. lol. Ohhh dad. But he seemed to be doing well. And mom is happier now that he's back. I dunno... I think this will be a good turning point for him. I mean he has to know how much everyone loves him and how much V loves him and wants him around. So prayers will be continued to be directed at him as he fights his battle with alcohol without rehab. Go dad!

Moving on to other things I love... Justin! Not that anything is super new with him. Just doing the whole school seminary thing. But we are like literally halfway to Thanksgiving (even though he might not be coming home for it) I also realized the length of time we've been apart is the length of 1 Lent period...almost anyway. And while it's been several weeks now and I still miss him all the time, I'm doing better. I feel like a functioning person, not this broken heap in the corner that cries all the time. That said, I'm making a Halloween costume to depict our life right now. I'd tell you all about it but I think pictures will do better. We'll wait until Halloween for me to show off my brilliant idea. Don't worry, I realize my costume is silly and maybe a little weird but it'll cause a laugh or two... and it'll totally be a couple costume next year when we are reunited again!

The last thing I love that i'll choose to write about is fall. I called Justin yesterday to tell him that he's missing my favorite season. It's absolutely stunning, especially where I live.The leaves are turning golden, reddish, orangeish and they are beautiful and breathtaking. Lucky for me, it's just the beginning of the season! I'm going to bask in the glory of trees until winter decides to creep up WAY too early (Hey winter, you don't start until December, stay away!) and hopefully take a lot of wonderful pictures with that handy dandy camera I own.

Not that I love to work, but I must go back to it. Enjoy your blog-reading and whatever else you lovely people are up to today.

Oh yah, shout out to John and Kelly! It's their birthdays! YAY BIRTHDAYS!

Always,
A

Terrified of Space and Sea

My title is somewhat true, and also very confusing. Because the weather was sub-par this weekend, I chose to watch a lot of movies, and apparently I chose very terrifying ones. I saw Jaws for the first time this weekend (yes, you can be shocked... everyone else always is) but honestly... I have a hard time believing that "scary movies" are, fact, scary if they are old. But I am wrong. Very very wrong.

So Jaws somehow is able to capture that fear of sharks and how they lurk all creepily in the water and put it into a movie. No super special effects, but they sure have blood and people disappearing. Oh yah, and a crazy giant shark that will eat your boat to get you. Um, remind me to NEVER swim in the ocean because ocean-town mayors cannot be trusted!

I also chose to watch the new movie Gravity with Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. Now I'm afraid of space as well. C'mon Houston... you're telling me you KNEW there was debris heading their way going the speed of a bullet, and instead of being on the cautious side, you choose to just "see how it goes and keep you posted"? Idiocracy. Puh-lease. I'd be back in that ship so fast. Not that it would have helped... okay, maybe that's a spoiler? Not really... it's like within the first 20 minutes of the movie. But I'll stop giving details. Either way, no. No no no. Space is NOT my friend. Too big, too open, and there seems to be a LOT of spinning. I'd barf in my suit.

Anyway, there was more to my weekend than movies. I re-evaluated my health status (I like to check my measurements, weight, BMI, and body fat percentage every 6 months or so just to get an idea of what's REALLY happening to my body). It's easy to look in a mirror and be like, I don't look any different. But it's not the case. I've lost inches everywhere on my body, and 5% body fat since January! So changes are happening and it's exciting. :) Now if I can just drop a pant size... and get a six pack... and sculpted arms. Haha okay, I know, that's not realistic but the pant size would be ideal.

This weekend we also had a joint birthday party for Nate, Holly, and myself. We decided to bring Evelyn and Henry, and we found out that V now gets car-sick. Barf. Omg. Let's just say cottage cheese is ruined for me for the time being. Eesh. Poor little thing. She was terrified and crying and I couldn't hold her cuz she was covered. Luckily Holly is smart and packed a second outfit and we made it to the party. We got the stuff in the wash and then enjoyed a night with friends, cake, ice cream, and laughs while we watched kids... be kids. :)

My dad is also almost done with rehab! For those of you who don't know, my dad entered a rehab facility earlier in September for alcohol addiction. It had gotten pretty bad. I'll spare you of all the insane details, but it's important that he NEVER drinks again. Sounds drastic? well no. When you've been an addict for a long long long time, your liver basically pickles and could just give out at any time. So it's imperative he stops immediately. Getting back into the real world is hard though. I mean you don't have meetings and doctors helping you through the process, so we need to make sure to be a strong support system. I also wanted to do a big shout out to everyone who prayed for him because I think it really helped and it was amazing to see people come together for him. Even people who don't KNOW him. Remarkable.

I also got to have my third  bible study with Justin. It was nothing short of amazing. So we're currently going through Mark Driscoll's Real Marriage series because it's amazing and it's a good pre marital series (so is The Peasant Princess if you are interested folks!) Yes. I know. I'm not married. I get it. I already know people think I'm ridiculous, but I'm not embarrassed to be taking these measures with Justin. The divorce rate in this world is nuts and I'm taking the steps to make sure we have a great marriage and our ready for reality and the harshness of it. Anyway, we ended up getting on the topic of theology and some really big questions (does God know the future? Is there free will? What made Noah a "good" man? why was he chosen for greatness? and so forth) and it was a good heap of spiritual intimacy. And can I just say that this is even better than any other type of intimacy. Honestly. I feel closer to him and I love being able to talk about important topics with him, especially because he's incredibly passionate in this area (weird... I guess that's why he's in seminary). We ended up talking for at least 2 hours on the sermon and theology, and I am happy!

Alright, work is calling my name.

Always,
A

Revamp

A revamp. It was time.

The setting trend for my blog posts shows my singleness. Seriously. In 2010, my blog posts started to fade (Justin and I started dating early 2010) and since then, I've been posting maybe every other month? It's terrible. But not all can be blamed on my boyfriend. No no... a full time job at a magazine and a second part time job serving keeps me pretty occupied.

But...

It's time to blog again. And no, it's not based on engagements, weddings, babies, buying a house, etc. The truth of the matter is, I love writing. I love expressing my opinions and views even when there isn't that much to say. I started blogging to remember my life. Currently, I'm not blogging, I'm not journaling, there are no "Dear Diary" entries to be found on my laptop (although if there were, they'd be gone since my laptop went to heaven... RIP Peyton)

I do plan on having things mentioned above to be happening in my near future which is actually why I also want to blog. I want to blog before my life changes to the max. My time will be fighting with the million of little projects that come with the aforementioned and before I know it, I'll be blogging less OR, and maybe even worse, blogging solely on engagements and weddings and moving, etc. Not that there's  anything wrong with that. But it's nice to have a variety of topics besides this one huge massive elephant in your life for the time being.

so here I am! Ready to be back in action! With a new layout, new background, new image. same name. I'm not ready to re-title anything.

What's new with me you ask? Lots! But I'll keep it to a minimum since well... my last post was JANUARY. Wow. Basically, I'm still at the magazine which has given me great experience for future jobs. Justin hastily decided to go to seminary in Boston (about 30 days ago) and I have been experiencing the LDR in real life. Long Distance Relationship for those who are not up to date with your internet lingo. It's rough. People who do it like it's their living are nuts. Or have learned to cope. My coping mechanisms... don't exist. Well I have some. Like FaceTiming, texting, phone calls, bible studies. I mean it's like he's here but not.

The beauty of him leaving is that he's figuring himself out. He's beginning to grow and mature in God and in life and it's wonderful to see. He's happy, he has a purpose, which means our relationship can move forward. And we ALL know how I feel about that. #excited #elated... oh man I don't know if hashtags should be in my blog because it's too weird, or if they should because this is 2013! They can stay... for now.

With all this moving forward hype, I think it also means *fingers crossed* that I will be ending up in Boston come next September (or June...)! Which is scary and fun and worrisome. It's scary because I've NEVER lived out of state. Ever. The move would also be full of worry because I've grown kind of fond of my life here. I love my family, I adore my friends, and my heart melts for my nieces and nephews. I remember telling Justin long ago that I would follow him anywhere, but that has changed as we've gotten older. More connections have been made and I can't simply pick up and leave. LUCKILY he says we will not stay there. It's only for the length of seminary, which is 2 1/2 to 3 years depending on when he takes his classes. And he's already there now so my time there will be short and sweet. And it'll be fun for obvious reasons. I'd be married, with a new job, and just a whole year or so to spend with Justin being his wife. What an amazing gift that would be!

Sorry, I know. I can get stuck there for a long period of time. We'll move on to babies and then that will be it for today. So, Evelyn is now TWO. And what a wonderful toddler she is becoming. She speaks... maybe not full sentences but she's getting there. She runs. She plays. She laughs. She loves. I can't handle how much I love her. She is precious and sweet and sassy and loves me and I love her right back. I was talking to Holly about how I'm so happy to have this time just being her auntie and not having other distractions (husband or kids) even though she won't remember it. And she made a good point... i'm helping shape who she will become later in life. And that's a lot. So I'm pretty happy with that. :)

As for Henry... he's new! Two weeks old and just little and sweet and... a baby. I felt like this with V too. It's hard for me to connect to babies because they are babies. That's it. They sleep, they cry, they eat. Repeat over and over for like 2 months. So when he starts smiling and having tummy time and other baby-esque things, i'm sure I will love him just as much as V. But for now, I'm all V-crazy.

Alright. So cheers to the revamp, cheers to a blog post, cheers to the new things in life, and I can't wait to share them all once again with you!

Always,
A