La Ville Lumière

Paris. The city of lights. The city of love. The place that captured my heart.

When we knew Scotland was going to be our new home last year, the husband and I talked about where we would love to go while we were in Europe. Flying is super cheap once you've actually crossed the Atlantic and we want to make the most of it. Rome was on the top of the list. So was Reykjavik. London, Madrid, Dublin, and Paris were a few others. But knowing what our budget would be, the priority became Paris. And I will say, if you get one shot at Europe, make sure that Paris is one of your stops. What made Paris extra special was that we got to celebrate our 4-year anniversary in this beautiful city. It may or may not have added a layer of gold to the entire trip. 

I wish I had my reaction on camera when I got into the city. The hubby said it made his day. We took the metro from the airport into the city center, and when we emerged from the station, I was in heaven. The architecture, the limestone buildings, the layout of the city, everything was of beauty and brightness. It immediately captured my heart and put me in a state of wonder. 

After we found our home for the next several days, we walked across the city to an event we were attending (if you're ever in Paris in May, I highly recommend going to their Taste of Paris festival). But what really did me in was when we walked toward a beautiful bridge after the event. As we got closer to the bridge, I suddenly could see the Eiffel Tower. It was all lit up and shining bright. I was in awe. It was such a beautiful sight, a stunning piece of architecture standing tall and proud for everyone to see. Magic... that's what it was. 

Over the next several days, we covered Paris. And when I say we covered Paris, I literally mean we pretty much covered the entire inner circle that makes up the city of Paris. We hit up all the tourist stops, the parks, and cafes. We attended events in town and sat on random benches. We ate pastries by the Seine and indulged in an anniversary steak. We taste-tested many macaroons and sipped a variety of lattes. We were exhausted, but in the best possibly way. 

Wine by the Seine. Yes please

One of the best happy little accidents (and became one of our favorite parts about Paris) was that a high school friend of mine happened to be there the exact time that we were there! She was with her mom and sister, a family I knew all too well. We were able to line things up to enjoy a bottle (or two) on the lawn in front of the Eiffel Tower. We laid out a blanket and talked about the last decade of our life. It was fulfilling and marvelous. Obviously most people can't have this experience, but man, what a sweet sweet memory we have in such an stunning place. 

If you're drooling over the idea of exploring Paris, perfect! I've done my job! To make everyone's life easier in the planning process, I'll add our favorite things we did while we were there. Hopefully this makes it easier to plan a trip of your own. 

All the Touristy Things

There are things in Paris that EVERYONE does. Guess what? There's a reason everyone does those things. I'm all about having a unique and exciting experience when you travel, but to pass up the staples, I think you're missing out. 


Eiffel Tower. Like I mentioned before, this is a must. You don't necessarily have to pay the money to go to the upper levels, but go enjoy it up close. Take photos from the lawn. See it during the day and at night. It's a magnificent piece of architecture and should be seen up close and personal. 

Notre Dame. We visited during a church service, which if you don't plan on staying for the service, I'd recommend going in at a different time. Mostly because I don't believe in disrupting a holy gathering with people staring, whispering, taking photos, all that jazz. That being said, it's a stunning church filled with lovely pane glass windows and arches for days. It makes you stop and pause to consume it's intensity. 

My favorite part of the Louvre

The Louvre. Be prepared for exhaustion to set in on this one. Know going in that you will not see it all. It's impossible. You could spend your entire vacation there and maybe see it, but you'll be too dead to enjoy it. I read somewhere that even artists can't handle being there for more than a few hours. It's too much to consume and take in. It all starts to blend together and makes you delirious. Before you go, pick out a few things you'd like to see, and then take in some of the other random art you find along the way. 

Arc de Triomphe. This. Is. So. Big. I never really realized how big this monument is. It's definitely worth a stop. The detail in the this monstrous landmark is remarkable. 

Wall of Love. The wall is more of an obscure place, and by obscure I mean it's not near any of the other monuments. More off the beaten path. But it seems like many people know about the wall. It's a beautiful blue-tiled wall completely filled with the words "I love you" written in dozens and dozens of different languages. It's beautiful and a great photo opportunity. 

Wall of Love with my love

Food

We may not have had "traditional French food" but I think there's more to the food in Paris than that. So here are the things that we couldn't get more of. 

La Bossue with all it's delightful treats

La Bossue. We cannot give this place more praise. It's off the beaten path a bit (near the 9th and 17th arrondissement) but it was fairly close to to where we were renting our Airbnb. But because it's off the beaten path, does not mean it's unknown. This place is packed, and for good reason. It's a very quaint little place chock full of baked goods (think fresh madeleines, scones, cakes, croissants) and delightful coffee. 

Sacree Fleur. If you love steak (and wine!), check out this great spot. Near the 18th arrondissement, this place is reservation only and you must call no earlier than two weeks beforehand. They even have a red wine that a vineyard created specifically for this restaurant. I don't even like red wine and I loved this one. Obviously this small place has more than steaks, but I highly recommend what their known for. 

Pierre Hermes. It feels wrong to go to Paris and not eat a macaroon or ten. We just happened to stumble on Pierre's shop first and picked out four that sounded drool-worthy. Oh my wow. I didn't know I liked macaroons, but here I am, a newly converted fan. They have fun flavors like pistachio, black currant, jasmine flower, as well as more traditional chocolate, coffee and salted-butter caramel. The chocolate was by far my favorite, but some of the other ones were good as well. Which leads us to...

Ladurees. Now there's a great debate on who makes the better macaroon -- Pierre Hermes or Ladurees. Ladurees had a beautiful building right on the Champs Elysees. They have much more than macaroons, but this is what people go for. The line was out the door and I have a feeling that this is a normal day for them. I would say there are more traditional flavors here (raspberry, vanilla, chocolate hazelnut) but plenty of flavors to choose from. Both the hubby and I agreed, Pierre Hermes hit it out of the park. But that doesn't mean you can't taste test the two of them. I mean you are in Paris after all. If nothing else, go just to take a gander and this beautiful building. 

Those were our top highlights, but I promise you, there are plenty more delicious places than what I listed. Traipse around the city, or use an app to help find the perfect place to dine. 

Final Thoughts 

My favorite travel companion

Hit up the parks. There is more to Paris than the traditional tourist pit stops. We chose to map out a path that hit up all the highlights the city had to offer. My husband's favorite stops by far were the parks. Specifically Parc Monceau and Parc Buttes Chaumont. Both were special in their own ways. Parc Monceau has beautiful scultptures and ponds, while Buttes Chaumont has a picturesque view from Temple Sybille, along with waterfalls and a suspension bridge within the park. You can spend time walking around or sit on a bench and take in the sites and smells of that around you. 

View from the Eiffel Tower

Walk, walk, walk. What made our trip so special was the walking we chose to do. While we did take the metro to get to some destinations, we enjoyed the sites and the sounds of the city by walking everywhere. I ogled at the gorgeous architecture, smirked at all the people with baguettes, sighed as I took in the smell of flowers, and became twitterpated with the Parisian culture. Metros are helpful, but it takes away the magic and the spark that Paris has to offer. 

And finally, just go where the wind takes you. Stay longer than normal at a cafe, peruse little markets, stop at whatever restaurant tickles your fancy. You can't (and shouldn't) schedule everything. Be a little spontaneous to really get into the culture. You won't regret it. 


Always, 
A

Breaking the Busy Cycle

"I'm too busy"

I think I've uttered those words all summer long. It's probably common for most people. School's out, people are taking vacations, seeing family and friends, drinking up all that glorious good weather. It makes sense. And for me, we have just moved back from Scotland, started a new job that takes up a lot of my day, trying to touch base with our many many friends, taking vacations, figuring out a workout schedule that coincides with the rest of my life, oh, and yes, trying to find time to blog.

Now, none of those things are bad. I'm so happy to be home and working at a job that challenges me and lets me use my talents. And we have so many friends and family that we love and care about and want to spend quality time with. Working out is important for my mental and physical health, and blogging... well blogging is something I'm passionate about.

Just a glimpse into our summer

Even though these are all "good" things... can it be too much? Can too much good actually be bad?

I've noticed throughout the summer that each week feels more and more exhausting than the last. Work takes up so much time that I really have to choose if I'm going to work out, or see people. And whatever I choose, I have very few hours left before I should go to bed. For my lovely readers, you'll have noticed I haven't blogged all summer long (basically taking a hiatus to regroup) because there is no time to blog. There is no time to read, write, pray, etc. etc. Which to me means, I'm overbooked. I think the "good" busy has turned into a "bad" busy.

In Minnesota, once the State Fair wraps up, it's fall. We don't care what the rest of the country says. Fall has to be a time we look at our busy summer lives and drill down on getting back into things. Structure has to be restored. So how do we take our wonderfully hectic lives, and make it into something that's still fun, but more controlled? I can't say I'm an expert at this. In fact, the suggestions I'm about to make, are things I'm going to try this year to find a peaceful balance of rest and busy.

Say No

This has got to be one of the hardest tasks for me. Someone wants to have dinner with us? My nieces and nephews have been asking to see us? There's a great happy hour at a taco bar? It's someone's birthday at work? There's a group of people camping for the weekend? All summer I've filled up all of my free time saying yes. And there were some days where I felt bad about it, knowing that I wanted to make that barbell class or needed to grocery shop or make dinner. But it gets pushed to the wayside. But if saying yes is killing you, it's time to say no.

The scary part is, these are only the things I remembered to add to the calendar! 

You can't do it all. You can't be there for everyone all the time. You can't schedule your life out like I did this past August (here's a glimpse into what MY summer looked like. I might be insane). And some things we did weren't even scheduled on that calendar. If anyone else's schedule looks like mine, you may need help!


Maybe your goal this month should be, say "no" to one person. Reschedule. Find another time to see them. Hey, if they like you enough, it won't be a big deal. Especially if you come up with an alternative time to do something. But know that your mental/physical wellbeing requires rest.

Calendar Prep

So many Instagrammers and Bloggers and Pinterest posts are about meal-prepping on Sundays so your week is figured out. While I have yet to master that (Sundays are my weekend too, I want to keep doing things!), it's a great way for people to utilize their time and be ready for the week ahead.

This should be the same for your calendar.

Why shouldn't we plan our week out? If we can do it with food, we can do it with the rest of our life. Here's my advice: On Sunday, take a look at your week. Schedule your workouts or things for your kids that are a must. Let's face it, there are going to be events that you have a commitment to. Then, if time permits, schedule one or two things where you get to see people.

Your schedule may change and you may see someone or do something last minute, but you'll have the freedom to do that because you haven't over-committed yourself. Case in point: we celebrated my niece's birthday over Labor Day weekend. Because of our insane August, we decided to not schedule too much where we'd be running from one thing to the next. When her birthday party was wrapping up, we noticed how hot and sunny it was. This is the perfect combination for some boating. Because of our flexibility in our schedule, we were able to have my family out on the boat and took the kids tubing. It was an unscheduled event that worked.

And make sure to schedule rest. It seems funny to have to block out time to "rest", but as I have seen throughout the summer, my times of rest and relaxation were quickly filled with other activities. That's what I feel so dead. That's why I feel like I can't recharge. Just like your phone needs to be plugged in, we need to be reenergized by rest. It's hard to do. But you will thank yourself later if you allow this to take place. Start by scheduling a time once a week to rest. I think you'll be amazed how great you feel. Take the time to pray, read, paint, or whatever thing helps you relax and that boosts your overall wellbeing.

Revisit 

Give yourself a few weeks of saying no and scheduling your calendar with both fun and rest. After that time, sit down and think about how this time period has worked for you. It's important to modify if things still feel hectic or if you don't feel fulfilled. Do you still feel stressed out about the amount of stuff there is on your calendar? Cut more out. Do you find yourself feeling bored and unmotivated, using television or games on your phone to fill up your "rest" time. Add a few more events to your week. 

It's hard to know what the right balance is. I think that's why it's great to look at your schedule week to week so you can adjust as you go. And you have to be prepared for some weeks to feel overwhelmingly busy (Susie has three nights of basketball practice AND a scrimmage? There are three weddings this weekend?!) Those types of situations are hard to avoid, but if you know ahead of time that that week will be busier than normal, make sure to give yourself even more time for rest the following week. 

Where to Save Time

Okay. So now you know what you need to do, but you may still feel that your calendar is still too busy. My schedule feels never-ending because even if I take out the busyness of friends and events, there's still the laundry list of, well, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, making food, picking up something from Target (aka my drug of choice location), etc. etc. Everyone has their own list of things that have to get done weekly. 

Grocery shop online. This has been a lifesaver for me. I cannot reiterate this enough. At first I thought this was the lazy way to shop, but really, you're saving time by not wandering aisle after aisle and waiting in a checkout line. I've only done it once, but I plan to do it more in the future. 

Meal Prep. I am terrible at this, but I think it helps in the long run. Find a day (weeknight or weekend) where you can sit down and plan out meals. Once you've done that, and done your online grocery shopping, you can prep as much as you can for your breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Cut up those veggies and the meat. Mix things together so they can be thrown in the crockpot/oven when needed. This is especially helpful if you and your spouse don't get home until later in the evening. 

Limit Kid's Activities. While my husband and I don't have kids yet, we know from our many friends, they end up running from one event to the next for their kids. The more children you have, the harder it is to get them where they need to be. One couple we know allows their kids to be in one activity. The kids have to choose what they care most about and then do that, whether it's softball, soccer, dance, etc. Some of those might be more time consuming, but then your life is not overrun seven days a week. I promise, it'll make a difference. 

Shop Online. There is something that is nice about going to a mall and trying things on before you bring it home. I don't meander shop, I get in and get out. But getting to the mall feels harder and harder these days. I nannied for a family a few years back, and the mom online shopped. She had two boys that could care less about going to the store. On top of that, she worked hard at her job and spent extra time seeing friends, working out, and attending as many school activities as possible. She was the definition of busy, but did a great job at it. I hope to be her some day. 

With that busy of a schedule, she bought things online and tried it in the comfort of her home. So many companies offer free shipping that it doesn't cost you anything extra to do it this way. Not having to get to a mall between the hours of 10-6pm makes it so much easier. Granted, you really have to know styles you like and what is flattering on you, but this could end up saving you a lot of time. Plus, you don't have to pack the kids in the car and bring them all to the mall. It's a win-win. 

There are dozens of other suggestions to make your schedule work for you. Don't feel overwhelmed on trimming your schedule by making 100 changes at once, try one or two things and you'll notice a difference right away. Good luck to those that try this out, I hope it works! If you have any other suggestions, please share. I'm always looking for ways to not live such a chaotic life. 

Always, 
A 

The Race That Dreams Are Made Of

I know, I know. I’ve been absent. And you’d think my first post after my hiatus would be about the enormous move we made from Scotland back to our homeland. Or the fact that my new favorite city is Paris. I promise those posts are in the works. Along with dozens of other posts that I’m dying to write. But today is more of an ode to the city we left behind. 

When we had first moved to Scotland, one of my friends had brought up to me that there was a half marathon every May in Edinburgh. It intrigued me solely because it meant friends were willing to come visit and run the race with me. I immediately signed up. Unfortunately, do to… well… life, no one else could do the race. Kind of a bummer. But I knew I still wanted to run. 

Flash forward a few months later and I find out that we’re going to be able to move back to Minnesota. In May! I was able to acquire a job in my field and my husband’s classes were wrapping up mid-April. Our lease was up at the end of the month and really, there were no other loose ends to tie up. Except for the race. It was happening within the last three days of living in this beautiful city. Instead of scrapping it, I chose to run it. Even if it meant that our timeline for leaving would feel incredibly hectic. 

Let me tell you: I’m not sure if it was the weather, the energy, the views of the city, the fact that we were leaving so soon, or a mixture of all of it, but it’s one of my favorite races of all time. High praise. 

The race started us near the main campus of the University of Edinburgh, wound us around to Princes Street, down the Royal Mile, past Arthur’s Seat, down to Portobello beach and ended us in Musselburgh. That’s where we’ve spent the last nine months living. I can’t tell you how many days I’d walk up and down Princes Street. Or how I used the Royal Mile to get to my gym. Or how we found ourselves on nice days visiting Aurther’s Seat and the surrounding area. Or the time we walked all the way to the beach even though it was January. It was a run through my memories that we had made. It was something incredibly special. This race kind of sealed up my journey in Scotland. 

There were a few other reasons it quickly became my favorite race. One being I hit a PB! Not only did I hit a PB, but I shaved off eight minutes off my time! What! Who does that? This girl. Right here. I’d like to thank the downward slope and the incredibly cloudy, cool day that made running a breeze. The other highlight was the fact that I ran continuously for nine miles. My last half I could only make it to seven before I needed a break. This race I felt like I could have run a few more if my knees didn’t feel shot from constant decline towards the ocean. Yep, definitely hobbled for a good 24-36 hours post-race.  

While I may never get the opportunity to run this race again, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. I think sometimes we get stuck in the idea that races are too hard, too far, too scary, etc. etc. The list goes on as to why we shouldn’t do them. Believe me, after the Lake Minnetonka Half I told myself I’d never ever run another half. And here I am, two under my belt and ready to sign up for my next race. There’s something empowering being able to finish a race, whether it’s a 5k or a marathon. Whether you walk, run or something in between. It’s something YOU did by yourself. No one helped you. 

Added my latest medal and bib to the collection! 

I can tell you, after I finished this race, being sore in my knees but feeling pretty good overall, nothing made me smile more than receiving my race bling (Ooo shiny medals!) and having the volunteer tell me “nice job!” They are right, I did a nice job. Even if I didn’t complete the race in the time I wanted, or I walked when I shouldn’t have, or whatever excuse you got. Think about how many people DON’T take on the challenge of a race. And if you can do this, what else can you do? 

That might be why I run. The high of knowing that my body can do something so amazing, like propel myself forward for hours. And knowing that I can tackle an obstacle such as this, and come out swinging. 

What is it that you do that makes you feel invincible? Something that keeps propelling you forward? 

If you feel incredibly motivated to run a race now, check out my blog post about finding your perfect race! 

Always, 
A

The Truth About Marriage

Being a little girl in the early 21st century, I still believed in the fluffy, happily-ever-after, ride off into the sunset on a white stallion (or a white limo) kind of love. Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, they all taught me that even though there are trials and tribulations, you get the Prince in the end and all is well.

Well... that might not be the case. Because after all of the balloons and celebrations and festivities take place, what's left? What happens after?

My Love Story 

I've written my tale on here before (read it here), or you can probably go back and re-read all of my early blogs and find all the hidden aching love posts for an unrequited love. But to make a long story short, Justin was my person at age 16. He didn't know it, but I believe I did. We dated for a year, and then he graduated and moved to Germany for a one-year program. After that, we stayed close friends. We ended up at the same college, hung out with the same friends and never really separated. 

But life threw us back together and by March of 2010, we were trying out "us" again. Three short years later (okay, painfully long) he proposed, surprising me by flying home from the east coast where he was attending seminary, and nine months after that we had a fairy tale wedding at a beautiful limestone barn in southern Minnesota. 

It kind of sounds like a fairy tale, doesn't it? From afar certainly. Girl meets boy, girl dates boy, boy breaks up with girl, girl and boy stay friends, boy doesn't know what love means, girl gets boy to date her again, boy proposes to girl and finally marries girl. And I can look back now and see the bigger picture, but it certainly didn't feel romantic or like the movie When Harry Met Sally, it felt more like My Best Friend's Wedding to the point that I would have to try to have him break off an engagement if it got that far. Yes, I'd be that girl. 

The Ever After Part

This month will mark our four-year anniversary. We've lived an intense roller coaster, and it hasn't even been half a decade of being Mr. and Mrs. We've lived in two countries, four apartments/houses/flats, gone through two cars and a multitude of jobs. It's been exhilarating and exhausting. Days filled with adventure and laughter, and others filled with annoyance and grievances. Ever after isn't a life wrapped up in a bow. That's when the real work begins. You've chosen to meld your life with another person. And while premarital counseling can prep you for what marriage is, only life can truly show you that actuality of it. In our short four years together (but really 15 since we've been on-again-off-again), I've picked up five key traits of what marriage is about. We have found that these five traits help make a marriage strong. All are necessary. If you are missing one, then it's likely you are missing a few more. And let me tell you now, we are not perfect. We do not always make all of these factors work. We struggle. We disagree. We fight. It's natural. But we find our way back.

Marriage is About Compromise

Compromise reared it's ugly head the second we were engaged. After the thrill of the proposal wore off, reality set it. We were getting married, but he still had a year and a half of school to finish. It automatically meant that we were moving to Boston. I have never wanted to live anywhere but Minnesota, either out of comfort or fear. But there was nothing I could do about the situation. So we moved. I found myself nannying instead of pursuing writing, which made me frustrated for a while. And I missed my friends. But the compromise was, when he was done, we'd move back home. 

When we moved back home, I found an amazing job. Unfortunately, he couldn't find work in his. He spent a year and a half substitute teaching in a district that lacked hope and passion. Because of this, we moved to Scotland where he started a new program and I bartended at a local pub. 

We've joked that it doesn't feel like we can both be happy (job-wise) at the same time. It always feels like one of us has to make that sacrifice. And that's the compromise of marriage. Sometimes you have to give up the direction you see your life going in, to follow the direction of theirs. It's not always easy or fun. Rarely is it met with full enthusiasm on each side. However, without it, both would be in shambles. 

You can't compromise on everything. It's the bigger things that need the attention. What do you want to do for work? What does he want to do for work? Where do you both want to live? Do you want to live close to family or not? How do you spend and save money? It's all these things that you have to find compromises. 

Marriage is About Communication 

In our pre-marital counseling, we took a test to find out our strengths and weaknesses. We found that we would struggle with family and money, but we scored 100 percent in communication. What does that even mean? We thought, "Wow! We are going to do amazing in our marriage!" Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Sure, we talk. We talk a lot about everything. Yet somehow we misinterpret and misread. Fights arise from the lack of communication. Clearly 100 percent in communication was a joke. 

What it does mean is that we do communicate, even if it is after the miscommunication takes place. My husband thinks different than I do. I can walk into a room and notice all the cleaning that has to happen, but he doesn't think about it, so he doesn't magically do it. I have to ask. Which annoys me because it's so glaringly obvious. How dare I have to ASK him to do things, instead of him just DOING them. It sound ridiculous as I type it. 

Communication isn't a one and done situation. We sit down several times a month to try to touch base about each other's wants and needs. I need him to do these things to make me feel like he notices me and vice versa. We strategize ways to help the other feel loved. It's a ongoing process that will never end. Without it, we'd be burning in flames as I write this. 

Marriage is About Trust

This one feels pretty important, and probably tied to both compromise and communication. In the end, I trust Justin knows my desires and needs. He knows where I went to live at the end of the day, what I want to do, how many kids I want, etc. etc. I know what he wants to do for work and all the dreams he has that he would like to do on the side. I know where he'd like to live, even though we both know Minnesota is it for us. So yes, moving to Boston and Scotland were situations I felt uncomfortable with. Situations I would have never put myself in if I weren't married to my husband. But I trust in him, I trust in God and I try to have that be enough. Sometimes I feel like it's all crashing down. But in reality, the ship always corrects itself. I'm never as lost and destitute as I feel in the moment. 

Marriage is About Friendship

My husband and I are best friends. We've had the luxury of knowing each other for 15 years — It's a long time to get to know someone. And I find out new things about him all the time. Feels like that would be impossible, but as we age, we change. Views, likes, dislikes, they are ever-changing. And you must learn to love that change in them, as well as your own. 

The difference between friendship and friendship in marriage is that you can't just end the friendship. Pick up and say, "Well that was fun, but we are too different and we can't see eye to eye on most things." You've made a covenant with this person. For richer or poorer, sickness and in health, through all the changes you encounter along the way. They are your person. Sometimes they'll make you mad. Other times, overjoyed. I run the gammut on emotions for my husband. but at the end of the day, I know I'd be lost without him. 

Remember to seek out friendship with your spouse. It's easy to do life next to each other, without ever really checking in. Just like your regular friendships, you need to spend time with them to know what's going on with them. 

Marriage is About Love

Saying marriage is about love might sound cliche, but, it's the truth. I'm not talking puppy love, or the way you say I love ice cream. I'm talking agape love. I'm talking about love like the way God loves his children. An unconditional sort of love. Loving your spouse feels like it needs to be chosen, not just felt. You feel the love for your spouse when you first get together, when you get engaged, and in your honeymoon phase. But what about the moments in between and in the "happily ever after" part? Yep, you need to love them in those times too. Love them when you're angry, love them when you don't feel like it. Love them anyway, at all times. It's actual work, to love someone consistently and constantly. You have to make the conscious choice. 

We get to celebrate this anniversary in style by flying to Paris for five days. It'll be heaven. We're going to one of the most romantic cities in the world. And I'm excited that I get to go with him. Not every anniversary will get to be magical or filled with fun adventures. I'm sure some will consist of normal life. But I'd rather do life with him in the normal days and the days of crying babies (someday!) than with anyone else. 

Always,
A

Away We Go — Again

Where do you see yourself in a year from now? What about five years from now? And what about 10 years from now? 

You've probably been asked these questions a time or two. Maybe in an interview, maybe in a bullet journal, maybe in just a fun game with friends. It causes you to stop and think about where you are and where you're going. And the end result is different for everyone. They can be lofty ambitions or more practical; travel related or financial related. The options are endless. 

What I've learned though in my 31 years of life is this: those questions suck. 

Yes. I said suck. Sure, they can maybe be a hazy guideline for where you may be going eventually. You could say, I plan to get older. Or I will have a job. But anything more detailed than that is bound for failure. I plan to be financially independent, married, two kids and working my dream job in five years. Good luck with that friends. 

Less than a year ago (June to be exact), I blogged my most popular blog to date. The hubby and I were moving to Scotland. Something I had never dreamed about. Something that would have never been on my "where do I see myself" question and answer page. I cried, I worried, I was anxious, I was thrilled. I ran the gamut of emotions. And as scary as it was to move, we did it. 

The Reality of Living Abroad 

Moving to a new country has it's challenges. You have a general practitioner (GP) that you should sign up with sooner or later. Because if you find yourself in need of one, and haven't done this first step, good luck getting help anytime soon. Make sure to get your national insurance number too, because that is a several week process at best. Want a job? You better apply like mad, the market is fierce for anything that requires a college degree.  

We got through it all. It took about two months to feel fully situated, but we did it. And then that was it: we started a life in Scotland. No longer did we feel like visitors, like tourists that brought umbrellas and stopped in the middle of the sidewalk because we were lost. We were even asked for directions (and could actually get them somewhere!) We got jobs. The husband started school. We started seeing all we could within the borders of Scotland (guys, it's beautiful. You should check it out). 

I've mentioned before that moving is difficult for me. I like to make friends, and I hate to leave them. I want to keep them forever. I am also comforted by stability. I don't like when everything is up in the air. Yet I find myself in these scenarios more often then in a stabilized environment. 

You do find your rhythm, your new normal. You have to. God is good that way. He helps provide comfort in the midst of chaos, of uncertainty. And friends help you feel like you're not so far. They still call, they still reach out. It makes you feel lucky. 

So What Happened? 

Here we are, heading into April in a few short weeks, and life looks like it's taking another turn. Our time in Scotland is ending — much sooner than anticipated. As of June 1st (tentative, but most likely true) we'll be moving back to Minnesota. 

Let's face it, I'm thrilled. I'm a Minnesotan native through and through. Nothing makes me happier than thinking about being in Minnesota. And I've been saying for almost a year now that I'm hoping to only be gone a year. Looks like I get my wish. 

But why the sudden move? Well, lots of things. As much fun as bartending has been, it also isn't a job that can support a 21st century American. Those bills and student loans don't pay themselves. Plus I thrive on working in my field. I've been freelancing this month and I forgot how much I yearned to do work that I am skilled at. 

Edinburgh housing is also more expensive than we knew it was, at least if you want to live in the city center. Sure, if we moved further out, we could probably find cheaper options, but our jobs and school is within the city limits. We originally signed a 9-month lease, knowing we'd have to find a new place to live, but not realizing we wouldn't be staying for more than a year. And summer is especially expensive to find housing. 

As for the hubby's schooling, it turns out that it's much harder to get fully funded in the PhD program than it is in the Masters program. Who knew? 

And let's just face it. I want to have a place where I can paint a wall, and not have to paint it back within a year. I long to be settled. It doesn't necessarily have to be a house, but somewhere we can call home for an extended amount of time. We want kids. We want friends and family nearby. We want stability. Yes. Both of us. Can I get an Amen? 

When, Where, How, And All the Other Things

As mentioned previously, we'll be planning to head home early June. That's about all we got. We haven't purchased tickets. We're knee-deep in the job hunt. We don't have a car. I mean it we probably have no right moving back, but luckily we have family that's awesome and can support our sorry butts until we figure ourselves out. 

Scotland has been good for me. It's been an amazing experience being apart of an unfamiliar culture. And bartending has given me such an incredible view of working with different types of people from everywhere. We've been able to travel as much as money would allow, and even get to hit up Paris before we take off. The list of things we've done here is endless, especially in the parameters of nine months. We are grateful and humbled by the experience. But now it's time to go. Time to go back to the place we call home. 

Do I now know where we'll be in a year? 5? 10? This life has taught me that nothing is certain. 

Someone gather the wagons, cuz the Knapps are coming home! 

Always, 
A 

Making Friends is Easy, Leaving Them is Hard

My ability to make friends has always been relatively easy. Even though I'm secretly freaking out inside, worried I'm annoying this new potential friend and badgering them into hanging out with me. I mean, the fear is so high that I remember walking to our neighbor's house to see if she could come out and play, but filled with dread that I'd ring the doorbell and she wouldn't be home. I didn't want to bother anyone. Talk about anxiety. I was nine. 

But once the anxiety subsides, I'm able push through my own fears and thoughts and build a friendship with this other person. I love it. I love learning about new people, their experiences, their joys, pains, hopes, dreams. The things they find funny and the things that set them off. Everyone is vastly different and everyone has a story to tell. That's one of the reasons I love to read about people and also write about people. 

The one part I still haven't mastered, the one thing that still makes my stomach hurt, is the leaving them behind. 

Leaving Work Friends

What I mean by that is that the friends you make in this life are sometimes only here for a minute. Like when you work at your first job, where you are first exposed to people that may not be in your grade or even your school. Mine was a grocery store. A small-town, grocery store that was being run out by a mega-chain. Most of the employees were highschoolers and it was exciting to be working with seniors when I was a lowly freshman. When that store closed several months later, I was devastated by the friends that I lost because of it. There wasn't Facebook to keep our friendships alive. Maybe the hardest part for me was how effortless it was for everyone else to let go of what we had. 

I moved on to work at a bakery/cafe. I worked there for several years, and every time a senior would graduate and head off to college, my heart would break and I would cry. Of course they always follow up my pity with "we'll come back and visit," but we also all know that those visits get fewer and farther between in the blink of an eye. I've made the statement myself, I think we all have.  

While it still continues to be a challenge for me to let these work relationships go, and while I still hold on to them for dear life until we become acquaintances on social media and I like the pictures of their children and their dinners, I know they are what keep you sane at your job. Without friends at work, the bank I worked at for two long, painful years, probably would have ended more abruptly than it did. Or the friends I made at the bakery/cafe made it more bearable to deal with the tyrant of a general manager. 

Leaving Situational Friends 

To me, situational friends is sometimes a little deeper than work friends. At least that's how I break it down in my mind. Work is situational, yes, but when I think of this group, I think of moving to Boston. We didn't work together, we didn't go to school together, but we lived in the same building while our husbands went to school. Or the people we met in our small group at church. These friends are different because you get to know them on a more personal level. You meet at their houses, talk about where you came from, how long you are sticking around, where you plan on going next. Maybe I consider them a deeper level of friendship because we're grown up (or at least out of high school) and have children and are married. 

I was resistant to making friends in Boston. I didn't want to. I knew we were staying for a short time and didn't want to work on building these relationships up, just to let them fall apart when we left. Plus, I didn't want to dull the relationships back home, all the ones that I left a pin in until we were back to start things up as usual. But eventually, some people dug their way in. One of which I met six months before we were supposed to move back to Minnesota. It made saying goodbye to Boston that much harder. 

A lot of these relationships have stuck, and I was fortunate enough to meet a lot of families that were from Minnesota, making it that much easier to stay in touch. But I still get sad thinking that I can't just bop down the hall to say hello to our neighbors, or go on a run with my running friend, or laugh uncontrollably as we make half-assed Christmas decorations. We can cheer each other on via social media, but I miss the direct connection. It's hard to stay tight-knit when you're experiencing completely different lives. 

Leaving Life-Long Friends

This, by far, is the hardest. I've prided myself on keeping friends for a very long time. I can name several that are at LEAST 10 years old, if not more. If they can get through the rough patches of friendship, then they are there forever. For the good and the bad. Almost like family. Honestly, a friend and I joked about having all of us move to a cul de sac where our families could intertwine. We'd call it "Friendship Village". Nice ring to it, right? 

Some of these friends you meet when you're young, and maybe your ideas on life and the world change and pull you apart. And some of these friends move away and your life slowly drifts into different directions. It's gut-wrenching really. They have known you through some significant times in your life. You expect them to be around forever. Sometimes it's mutual, sometimes it's a slow fade, and sometimes, it's a more brutal release. I'm also fully aware that I might be an oddball and have way too high of expectations of friendships and the longevity of them. 

Does it Ever Get Easier? 

From my point of view, no. There is always a sting, a hole in the place where this friendship used to thrive. Maybe I'm better at expecting it to happen, what with families and moving for work, etc., but I wouldn't say I handle it any better now than I did at 16. Can't we all just be friends forever? Is that such a big ask? Probably. There isn't enough time in a day, or week, or even year to keep hundreds of friendships thriving. Maybe this is just how it's always supposed to be. 

Some people are better at letting go. I call them free spirits. I have friends that seem to always be moving, making new friends, moving again, and they love it. They always have friends everywhere they go and can visit them when they're in town. And that's becoming more true for me, but it doesn't make it any easier. 

I guess I long for the days back in high school when we would all gather into our friend's basement. We'd talk, watch movies, eat, and just do life together. We all went through the same pains, same highs. It was a wonderful time in my life. And if anyone is to ever have that kind of group, those kind of friendships, even if for a moment, then consider yourself lucky. It's a wondrous thing. 

Maybe in the end it's only sad because of the impressions these people leave on you. 

This post is dedicated to all the wonderful friends in my life, whether they be present or if we experienced life together years ago or are just crossing paths now. You've all held such special places in my heart.

Always,

A

Super Scampi: A Super Easy, Super Delightful Dish

Back in college, I was a terrible cook. I could bake cookies, cakes, brownies. That was easy. Although I vividly remember making banana bread that was basically black on the outside and a soft, gooey mess in the middle. Scratch that, I guess I was terrible in the kitchen. I took Home Economics in middle school. Shouldn't that make me a pro? No? Hmm... 

At any rate, a friend of mine bought me Rachel Ray's Look + Cook cookbook and it forever changed my life. Yes, a cookbook can save you in the kitchen. It seemed that I worried a lot about what my dish looked like while I was making it. Is this supposed to congeal like this? What should my meal look like when it's completely cooked? How thick is too thick for a pasta cream? But with this cookbook, it gave me step-by-step instructions with pictures. A gift sent from heaven! I now know that I'm a visual learner. Seeing pictures or watching videos on how to do certain tasks (especially in knitting) helps me complete whatever I need to do in a way words can't sometimes. 

I should note that my husband is actually a great cook, and I've learned a lot from him by being his cutter. You know, the person that's in the shadows, slicing and dicing his garlic, onions and peppers. I'm invaluable really. He probably wouldn't be as great if I weren't there.

After making several recipes from this wonderful book, I've landed on one that I've been making for several years now, and it's good every single time I make it. I don't even need the pictures to help me anymore! 

Super Scampi Recipe 

If you don't have this cookbook, or prefer to have everything online, there is a link to the recipe on Food Network. It's packed with flavor and feels light since there isn't a hearty sauce that goes along with it. The whole recipe (prep + cook) takes less than an hour and most items should already be in your pantry, at least they are in mine. 

What You Need: 

• EVOO (Extra-virgin Olive Oil)
• Anchovies (I don't actually add these, but I'm sure the flavor is that much stronger with it)
• Garlic
• Crushed Red Pepper Flakes
• Oregano
• Parsley (again, don't use this, but that's just personal preference) 
• Dry White Wine (you can use a cooking wine or even a Pinot Grigio, whatever you want) 
• Butter
• Chicken Stock
• Water
• Large Shrimp (fresh, uncooked shrimp is best, but whatever you have access to is fine) 
• Linguine 
• Lemon 
• Basil
• Salt and Pepper

The recipe is simple. You really only need one pot, and of course we use our Le Creuset cast iron dutch oven because it does what we need every time. I highly suggest investing in one; it'll be in your kitchen forever. 

Here's the finished product: 

And here's a closeup, because who doesn't want a closeup of the food you're about to consume in mass quantities? 

I hope you enjoy this one as much as I do! Let me know if you add anything extra to make it pop even more. 

Always, 

A