Like it or not, it's coming

I know, your thinking... two posts in one week, amazing. But this one won't be happy nor will it be long. It will be a moment of panic and worriedness. It'll be of my deepest feelings at this present time.

My dad is going to die

No, not this instant, and not in the next few days, but soon. He told my mom he stopped drinking (which he did). unfortunately he started again, and i think it's worse than ever. From Easter until now, he has already had 12 large bacardi bottles or whatever he drinks now. It's just really hitting me that he won't be here. He's never been a really good father to me. But... that doesn't mean I dont' want him around. I don't know his life, I don't know how he really feels... nothing. I've tried, but nothing. And to imagine that I won't have someone to walk me down the aisle when I get married, well... it's too much to bare.. my heart hurts guys. And with this being the week of the Travis thing, I'm just super emotional. It's too much stress on my heart. Please pray for me.. or for him. I'm just at a loss for words.