love love love lo.... ugh really?

"I LOVE love"

Who has heard me say this statement? I'm sure everyone reading this can. It's true. I love it. I get all mushy and gushy and I want nothing more than for people to be happy. No doubt. I am the person to come to if you want someone to swoon just as much as you do. Just not right now.

I mean as I write this I am listening to "when your gone" by miss Avril, and I can't help but want to have that love for someone, but honestly guys... this sucks. And I'm not writing this blog to have everyone make me feel better or tell me 'oh he's out there'... yes I know I realize that. But when everyone (and I mean everyone) around you is happy and with someone, you feel like crap. I am a mere 20 years old, and I feel like i'm the old maid that people look at funny cuz I don't have anyone. And unfortunately I am not Justin and I can't be okay with this. Like wonderful John and Anna are MARRIED... Laura and Mason, Kara and her dater boy, Marlise and her fairytale with Nick, Sam and Robbie, Ali and Josh, Lee and Mary, Jen and Andrew, Holly and Andrew... it's just a lot to handle. It became very apparent how much of an oddball I am at this point two nights ago. I wanted to go on the zipper because people were going to the carnival, but anna was going with john and Marlise was going with Nick. And like, I've never been SHUNNED from something because of the fact that I am single. And it's not that I have to be involved with everyone, by no means do I mean that. I just feel sad, and people have to understand that. I'm not a person who is good with being alone. I love having someone there for me. So what should you do? cut back. obviously I'll ask about some stuff. but just take a breather. I need it.

On something entirely different, my little Sarah Fleming got crowned as Miss Delano!!!! YAYAYAYAYYA!!! I'm so excited for her and I think she'll do a really good job. That's who she is. She's a leader and awesome and ahh! Now I'm done!!! I think the program (delano royalty program) has really changed for the better and these are part of the making of the new program. It should be good. =) So kudos to all those ladies.

Why is it that sometimes you just wanna hang out with certain friends? and no one take this the wrong way, but there are just some friends I miss dearly. For example, Laura or Jen. I NEVER see them since one lives 6 hrs. away and one is on a missions trip. agh I dunno. Luckily I see both in a month or so. Happy day. or there are some people who i miss that I know really well and never give sick of and would like nothing more than hang out for the sake of hanging out. And why don't I ever get sick of these friends? What quality do they have that makes me want to be around them all the time? it's a bizarre friendship really. It makes no sense.

I've been getting a little bit excited about my plans for this fall. I mean yes obviously school, but I'm getting some new plans in my mind as well, and it's gonna be good. What am I talking about? Well just involving God and how I plan to be active in His life. And why wait till fall? Well it is all about location since I go to school and live on campus. I wanna be doing more stuf this summer which I have been doing (like going to church on Sat. and Sun. and trying to have more meaningful conversations) but yah.... pray about that. I'm excited.

Oh yes, Happy July to one and all! The 4th was over just a few days ago, and Sonshine is soon to follow next week. Sonshine is the highlight of my life. Well okay.. maybe that much, but you get the point. I LOVE being there. The sweat, the tears, the rain, the sun, the heat, the humidity, the people, the dirt, all these things would usually drive me up the wall, but because I love Sonshine so much, it all just fades away. It's just that you don't remember the bad stuff (and if you do, it's becaue it was funny later ) it's always the good stuff. The only hitch is that no one is going, minus nate, mitch and I. It's just an odd concept to not have hordes of people all go down. I'm not used to it. I love the group, that's half the fun! But I will go on because again I love Sonshine and it's worth it.

Okay, tired. me go sleepy. mmmm bye wonderfuls!