My Bed Looks Most Wonderful Right.... NOW

I wanna sleep. I stayed up too late. And now i'm procrastinating. Hmm... will I ever be one of those people that actually works hard EVERYDAY? Probably not.

I just wanted to state that I'm in a mood. Boys make absolutely no sense. I over think, and they don't make sense. horrible horrible horrible thing. how am I supposed to stop overthinking if you guys can't get a grasp? I tell you what.... well, I've actually got nothing. lol. Oh well. what is "friendship" anyway? Is it my definition of something else, cuz that'd be great. Cross my fingers on that one

Oh yes, and I was flattered so much last night that I don't even know how to take it. I mean, I figure I know what people think of me, and then they just go above and beyond and I'm left speechless. I mean I'm happy and i'm glad that I have that affect on people, but wow... speechless is the term. and that doesn't happen with me very often! I always have a thought. But thank you.... you made my night =)

Bye!

Fifteen Minutes Old

Today is a contemplative blog. A blog on all the big questions on life, and all the little ones too. Okay, well not really.... I'm procrastinating on homework that HAS to be done, but I'm also listening to a song that makes me wanna write in my blog about issues.

Why do parents have to fight? Not that mine are, I just feel like so many of our parents are unhappy in their life, and it scares me. I don't wanna be unhappy. I don't want to be trapped in this place that I can't get out of. Do you know how many people have told me that their parents are seperating, moving apart from each other, getting divorced, etc? It's heartbreaking! And how am I supposed to respond to that. I'm sorry? That's not going to make it better. I wish I could make it better. I wish I was like Jesus and could take away everybodys pain so no one had to hurt anymore. Lofty ambition, yes, but I'll never be able to accomplish it. I think that's why a part of me wanted to send money to James. Was it dumb? Probably. But my heart was in the right place. I just want to help out where I can. If I get a lot of money, why should I keep it all to myself? It's in abundance right now and I just want to be there for people. I don't think that's a bad thing. So to James or whoever reads this, sorry... I obviously crossed a line and it wasn't my intention.

Another question to ask it why are the best people not noticed for their best things? I feel like my friends are all fantastic, but something is holding them back, or bringing them down. Are we all too scared to live life and do what God intended us to do? Like Adam... finally taking some leaps and bounds towards something that he SHOULD be doing because he is GREAT at it. Or Kara... oh Kara (hi kara!) you are BEAUTIFUL and TALENTED in so many things... don't let anybody tell you differently. You have an amazing voice, and a unique talent for writing music and meaningful lyrics. So don't ever think poorly on yourself. It's just bad ju-ju.. or whatever they call it in Grey's Anatomy. And Ali... oh Ali. I heart you more than anything, and I think kyou attack yourself the most. Why? Who knows... years of your parents filling your head with the fact that your not good enough or your not going down the right path for you to make millions in your futur career? Who knows. Drives me crazy. You are so smart. Just cuz school kicks your ass somtimes doesnt' mean you can't do things. Albert Einstein sucked at school. Look where it got him. I just think your in the wrong atmosphere and that you need to bail immediately. It'd be better. do it. I mean I'm completely a victim in this too.... I am the victim and the victimizer.... so I'm apart of this lecture too. It doesn't make things better when our friends tell us things we already secretly know, but it helps. I'm in a helping mood today. So there that is. Live the life God gave you. He put things in you specifically for a purpose that he wants you to fufill... don't just blow it off and act like it isn't there. Grab life by the reigns! lol.
And Psst... .Jen.... be a teacher. I dare you. =)

I danced in Adam Natrop's bedroom the other day. Slow danced with him to be exact. It was great. Who knew that we had that type of friendship where we could just dance because we felt like it. But I also encourage everyone to listen to Michael Buble's song, "You Don't Know Me".... oh it makes me melt. =) Warm fuzzies everywhere...

Alright... time well wasted. I'm out. Enjoy your life today guys.

<3>

So I've gotta be strong... dang we're screwed...

So I think it's safe to say I'm dating... Nothing like a committed relationship, but we're on the radar. And I think I feel very good about this. And by very good, I mean fantastically grand. =) It's something I've wanted for a long time, and I'm just happy at the time it came at and who it's with. I really like being around him; we click. I dont' really know where I want to go with this.... the blog I mean .Not that. I know where I wanna go with that. lol... I think what I'm trying to say is that dating is really good. The fact that I get this chance to kind of start over, and leave all the mistakes I've made behind. See if I can really do it this time around, without making it so focused on other things. But with this, I think I'm going to have to be the stronger one in that department. Good luck to me ::gulp:: it'll be my little challenge that I will dominate. haha. wow, okay... ending this..

I'm also happy to report that the scale of pain for the Bronchitis thing is about a 3 out of 10, so I'm feeling pretty dang good. My nose is runny and stuff, but now it's more like a cold, and not so much like death. Stupid death. I hate death. I never want death again. I don't even think I know what I'm talking about.

I really had no reason to post anything, I just felt the need to write a little something. I had the time so I figured why not? Ok, I'm out. Everyone have a great weekend! I think my should be pretty splendid.

ciao,
Amy

Boys Like Girls

Or at least most of the time...

I'm sick today. I hate being sick. And hey, I've even decided that being sick isn't that bad... but it's the intensity of it! I mean I had a sore throat the other day, and that was fine and dandy.... but this... this is just nonsense! I mean the chest pains, the skin that hurts, the horrible cough, the headache that goes with it. It's just all too much to take. I couldn't bare to even sit in class, so i had to dip out early. Then I took a four hour nap, and still felt cruddy. Luckily I've been coughing a bit and eating some stuff, so my chest doesn't hurt sooo bad. But still... the couch is pretty bad when I actually allow myself to cough. yuck. the whole process is just groaty. but if I listened to my roomate Jen, there is one way to make it all better... =) What a goon she is.

So with the title, I just decided to do that because I just bought Boys Like Girls Cd. It's decent. I've really only listened to a handful of songs, but I think they will really grow on me. But the Cd is sitting right next to me, so why not. Right?

Speaking of boys... I went bowling with a whole bunch of people. Pretty much seven of my friends, Mr. Bobuttons, and two of his friends. I had a great time, and he was awesome with mingling. Yay for outgoing people!! And the first game I did sooo bad!! I got like 87, and Nate got 144... or was that Kara? Who knows. At ANY rate, I got 135 the second game, and he.... haha... he didn't even break 100. He actually got 99, which makes it so much better. lol. I'm too mean. But no, I had a great time and I laughed a lot. Which is always nice. =)

I also saw Seward this weekend (and her boyfriend Andrew! YAY!) and I had a really good time. We just hung out, doing really nothing. It was good though because we needed to catch up on a lot of stuff, and then we did wonderful homework. We went to this place called Acoustic Cafe and there was some eccentric live music and I got to people watch (it's for my fiction writing class... he said to not be creepy stalkers, but just watch people and how they interact with things and others) but I felt like a creeper anyway. It's hard to watch people... I think they slowly catch on. And then they get really freaked cuz they have no idea why you are watching them. Oh well... they'll never see me again. Wah ah ah.

That's enough of an update. I need to hit the bed (but I'm not even tired!) so I can be all rested and maybe not call in sick to work.... maybe. We shall see.

Love love

Amy

Some people don't care enough....

Where as I... I think I care too much. who knew that was even possible? I've realized that I love too many people and that I overbook myself CONSTANTLY!! It's hard. I just want to keep up with everyone in my life, and sometimes it's just not possible. I'm not willing to let go of anyone, but am I hurting more people by holding on? Who knows. All I'm trying to say is I'm sorry to those I blow off, and I don't mean to, just know it's cuz I care TOO much. lol

I did, however, get to hang out with two lovely ladies tonight! (Toni and Karla) My how I love them. It's nice to have friends at work that are also friends outside of work. And my dear Mr. Bobuttons made a point about work friends. Even though we may consistantly talk about work way too much, it's what we have in common AND they are the only people that will get where you are coming from if something went wrong, or if there is work drama. That's why I love them. And man, Karla has only been in my life for six months, but I just adore her. She's been through my "drama" every step of the way, and I love it. I'm glad I have those too (and I'll include Melody EVEN THOUGH she did not come!)

So I became an AUNT for the second time tonight (My brother Dusty and my Sister-in-law Olivia had a baby girl tonight! Congrats brother!) I'm super excited about it. I just hope I can see her more than I see my other baby cousin. The older I get, the more excited I am to have babies in this world. They are so fresh and new, and nothing has hurt them yet. They are yours to mold. And hopefully you do your best to raise them up right. I know I'm not ready for that, and luckly I'm not in a position to have to be responsibility. (PHEW!) But for Karla... I think she'll do just fine.

I keep reading Mere Christianity, and I just fall in love with it every time I open the thing. It's amazing. C.S. Lewis is completely brilliant; I do have a lot of questions though. Maybe he's TOO smart. Nah... I just don't know how people think in these ways. I'm more of a question asker, not the one to answer the question. But I guess we need both in this world don't we?

Okay, I'm just rambling for the heck of it. I'm just happy and felt like writing. My life seems to be pretty good, and I'm really happy with certain things. =) hee hee. Smitten is the word of the day.

Night and Blessings,
<3>

P.S.- I missed the dots... so they are back!!

God likes to laugh too

A quote from church this morning made by Steve Wiens himself:

They used to tell us at this bible camp that I went to as a child, that being a Christian was like a white glove. And the world was a big pile of dirty mud. Now when you stick that glove into the mud, the mud does not become "glovey", rather the glove becomes "muddy"....

I love chruch sometimes. But it's true. Although Christians can be in the world and live a life for God, it's harder to be of the world and do the same thing. The "mud" inevitably sticks to us, weighing us down and stressing us out. Now of course I'd never really use this example, but he makes a point. We have to do our best to stick together! And yah... I'm done.

Also during church, I kind of thought to myself on what he was talking about. He was talking about being the salt of the earth, and then I startd writing a poem. I titled it "To me that it Concerns". It started out as something that Iwas gonna title it to whom it may concern, but as I wrote the poem, I realized it was to myself, and I'm the one "it concerns". lol. That doesn't make sense, but it does to me... so here it is

To be what You need me to be

and to see what You want me to see

are the hardest things to do.

While I try to do what is right

The world is pulling me into the wrong

Will I ever do right in Your eyes?

I want to make you proud and be

the salt of the Earth,

But You already claim I'm salt.

I have to TRUST in You, My God,

that You will not leave me or

lead me to despair.

Hold me in Your loving arms and NEVER let me go.

It's more of a conversation with God than anything else, but I liked it and wanted to post it. I don't have too much else to say now, so I shall go. Oh, except I had my Mario Kart Tournament and got to the semi-finals!! I was super excited. I did, however, lose the tie breaker to go to the championships so I was a little bummed, but I did better than last year! Anyway, I'm out! love you !

<3>

Life in a Nutshell

Classes are long, making my Monday feel like Monday AND a Tuesday, or even better.... it feels like my week became eight days long. I'll call it : Londay (for long day...) What am I getting at? I have class at 9AM... then nothing until 1:50- it is from here I have back to back classes in the same room. But this is where Londay steps in.... I have a four hour night class. So when I woke up on Tuesday, I literally thought it was Wednesday... Dang.

Boys are a hassle.
hassle
HASSLE
HaSsLe
HASSLE! I just don't know what to do about them. Love them, hate them... they are irritating and enjoyable. And how do I make that leap from where I am now to where I want to be? I wish I knew. I wish it didn't have to hurt others.

Jen leaves me tomorrow. It's a weird feeling because she's left before, but I'm just so used to her being around. It's dumb, I'll get over it, but it's still hard. Plus looking for an apartment without her is super difficult. I suck at this job. I quit. (jk)

Nebraska was good as usual. Some upsets happened, but nothing too life threatening (Kara drove an hour in the wrong direction towards Kansas City, I went to a weird worship service, and a fiance who-will-not-be-named [lol] seemed off for some reason) that I couldn't handle.

Mr. Bo-buttons (aka: Steve, Bryant, button eater, Mr. BoJangles, Nate from work) is funny. I enjoy our time of nothingness. We talk about everything and nothing all at the same time. I want to hang out with him more. =)

I think I'm going to be starting ANOTHER blog (besides this one.. no worries, I'll NEVER stop writing in this one!) that will be about the news and other such things. I think we have to start one for my online journalism class, but I was also just thinking that it would be a good way for me to get my stuff out there, for practice, and for some minor feedback on my work. PLUS maybe I could get you guys to be a little bit more cultured... I know my friends seem to think the news isn't important... tisk tisk. So let me broaden your horizons. ;)

Ok, life is short and I don't have enough time to do all the things needed to be done by classtime. So love you all, miss you all, can't wait to see you all.

<3>

PS..... Congratulations on the engagements for: Laura Koenecke and Mason, Kelly and Tim, Calli and Tim (even though it's been a while), Holly and Andrew (even though, again, it's been a while), and last but not least.... Sarah Doss and her fiance John (She went to Winona with me and transfered at the same time to Bethel with me!) Yikes... .when's my turn? lol