Control, control, control

Is control a virtue? I don't think so. But I feel like I need it. There is this overwhelming need for control because I may be losing it. Heh. I'm walking a very fine line, I'm tip-toeing with disaster, and I'm sure I could come up with a million more cliche statements, but I'll stop there. The point is, I'm letting my mind get the best of me, and I hope I can get some control and stop it. But this dangerous part, this part where I'm not sure what is going on... I kinda like it.

Oh I know, my blogs are always so cryptic. There's a purpose to that of course. While I like to write what's on my mind and what's going on with me, it's not always that easy. First off there's the ridicule, then the disbelief, then the waves of people trying to give you an opinion. And I guess my blog isn't about the opinions you can give me, but to be the bystander in all of this. Obviously I always enjoy comments, but about deep issues? Sometimes not. Sometimes it's just things that I need to do, or that God needs to do. God's answers are the only answers anyway. Plus, I'd rather have him show me i'm crazy or on the wrong path than anyone else. People attack each other when something they are uncomfortable with is being done by someone else.

I have ideas about my life. I have beliefs that God has shown me things, and maybe not like a specific thing, but the point is, I don't think I'm on the wrong track. I am confident that God knows my heart and knows me. Sorry... i'll stop being so elusive. It's kinda annoying isn't it? haah. At any rate, I feel like I'm doing my life right (well.... as right as a Christian can do it) and that I have to have control and patience for things. We'll see what my life holds in the next few weeks. Pray for me guys.

P.S.- I got money back from my interim trip. almost $700!! Praise God. How awesome. I needed that, I so so so needed that.

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