What does that make me?

It's my 200th blog posting today. I've been putting it off because I felt that it needed to be epic. It wasn't going to suffice if it was a simple blog! So here I am. And I have no idea what to write. It's not that I don't have anything to say, cuz I have lots to say, but where to begin? What can I write about? I just don't know. I guess we'll start simple.

I was in Chicago this last weekend. It was a short trip but I really needed it. School is exhausting and even though I'm excited to be back, it's hard to stay responsible and on top of everything (Like I was really on top of everything! Haha) I also wasn't very excited for this trip. I am just getting out of my financial hole that I've been in for the last year and that makes it scary. But I went anyway because I'm not smart... or something like that. I'm just glad that it happened. It was a breath of fresh air to see Marlise and Ali. I love those ladies!I won't go in to all the details of the trip because that isn't necessarily entertaining for everyone reading this blog. Let's see... we'll do a highlights recap:
1) Someone wrote "dang" on a bunch of signs in the city... HiLarious!
2) There were a group of guys already drunk at 10AM on Saturday. They had a beer can tied to a string and hung it below their balcony. Then they continued to yell at people to "GET THE BEER!!" It was so funny.
3) St. Patty's Day Parade and The Lime Green River dying- nice
4) Walking ALL DAY in the rain and wind and cold- not so nice... but still fun
5) The bean... that'll always be fun. ALWAYS
6) Sushi, Deep Dish Pizza, Pasta, DESSERT..... food is so good when you are road tripping!
7) Boys think Kara, Alyssa, and I are cute! SCORE
8) The Violet Hour= $$$$$$$$ to the extreme but a once in a lifetime opportunity.
9) Singing off key loudly with friends= priceless

That was that. Obviously there were downfalls but who cares about those. You only wanna remember the great parts anyway right?

The other exciting part is that I get to leave for Duluth TOMORROW!!! Huzzah! I get to go with Claire from work and we couldn't be more excited. I mean sure we have to work 11-9 everyday but we can still have fun in the evenings right?? I've never been so it'll be fun no matter what. I'll have to write about that more later.

Now... what should make this 200th posting special? There is a number of things. We could go into the fact that I graduate in a few short months and that my adult life is truly beginning. Or we could talk about how my book is so amazing to me and it's getting closer and closer to it's end. But we'll talk about something that is prevalent. This is it: I'm in the same place I was 200 posts ago.

Maybe not in every sense. But in some key ideas. Is it love that has me hung up? Can I just not get over my past? Is it ruining my future? I don't know. God's purpose for me has me really complexed.Even if that's not the right word, I'm keeping it. How does He expect us to go through our life and just let the randomness happen? I want to go right up there and shake Him until He tells me the plan in all of this. But that's where patience comes in and all those other things we are supposed to have as follower's of Christ. And I've done that for the most part. But some of this stuff feels so serious that he can't possibly not let me in on the point of all of it! cuz then I just sit here feeling like I've failed at everything he throws at me. I know I failed not too long ago... FAIL. So is this the point where we just let go? That we say "Screw it" because we will never know the answers. All we can do is be the best we can and pick ourselves up again when we fall.

That answer still leaves me confused, it doesn't make me happy, and I am angry I have to be patient and wait maybe my entire life before I figure out the reason for some of this. ::grumbles:: BUT seriously.... there's a little fun in the not knowing right?

That's enough for now. Thanks to all who have followed this far. I appreciate the people who read it. :) These will be coming for a long time. Let's see where I'll be when my 500th one comes rolling around!

Amy