Needing is one thing, And gettin's another

Yesterday: Bright, sunny, warm, cool breeze, vitamin D overload, driving with windows down, music blaring, happiness seeping from my pores.... and yet... everyone else made it seem like it was TODAY (gloomy, cold, rainy, gross). I don't understand how people can have a bad day on a beautiful day. Especially when it's the FIRST great day. Yes, it's been a mild winter and that's great, but when that Vitamin D is shooting off everywhere, it should typically raise the moods of people. I actually thought yesterday when I was at my peak happiness that it was too good to be true, and I felt that the happiness was going to leave. Boy, I called that one from a mile away.

Of course I don't want to make this a pity party. No no. Even when today looks crappy and it's another day of work and people are continuing in bad moods, I think I have to be that beacon of light. That's always been my problem. If someone is in a really bad mood, I, in turn, become bitter and upset. I crumble under pressure. Today is my test. Stay positive. Life is good. Bills are being paid, I'm trucking away on my sermons, I'm writing articles, I'm getting published. Honestly I have NO reason to be upset.

On a happier note, V is 6 months old this month and she is just stinkin cute. Good gracious. Although I am a master of making her up-chuck (sorry baby! I just want to keep you smiling by wiggling you around... after you eat....) she is still my favorite thing ever. AND my niece Ashley is 2 this week! Man they are growing up so fast it's crazy. I've said this time and again but I've been watching Ashley and being in her life since she was 9 months old.... MAN. I've been around for a while. I've loved watching her grow up from baby to toddler. She's talking and walking and running and picking out what her own birthday cake looks like! Life is just crazy but I love being around for it.

Since I posted last I became published (which I did forewarn you all about in a previous post) and I feel sooooooo great about it! I'm trying REALLY hard not to boast, but seriously... this is something i've been waiting for since the ripe age of 7. 18 YEARS later... here I am. Perseverance prevails, patience prevails, and God is good.

As I'm writing this I am listening to my sermon of the day (although it's one that I should have listened to three days ago... I'm behind) but it's about porn. AH. And I'm listening to it at work. Haha. But it's REALLY good. It's crazy when he says like children end up coming across porn one way or another by the age of 11. I mean I remember being a kid online with my childhood friend and my sister clicking into these ridiculous chat room on AOL and while we were toying around with naughty IM's, the other people were SERIOUS. I didn't think anything of it when I was a kid, but it's horrifying now. I didn't "get in to it" or anything, but as kids, we're curious. WE know nothing about it so we start looking in to it. Unfortunately, it's an addicting habit that people struggle with forever, but I think God was helping me stay away from it. But Mark Driscoll makes a good point when he's talking about how we all know what "hardcore porn" but we totally forget about the fact that these R rated movies we are watching and the TV shows we are watching still affect us in a negative way. And I know I want my husband to be my standard of beauty. I know I'm already tainted with the things I've seen and it leaves an impression on you. It's all very scary.

Well that's all that's on my mind today. Remember to stay positive, and be grateful for the people that try to help you through these hard times. We are only human and we can only help so much. I know I am a hypocrite because I get REALLY mean when I am really down about something. But I appreciate when Justin or whoever tries to help.

Love, A