Be Wise, Be Funny, Be Blonde

I think all those things are inherently important. Okay, maybe inherently is not the correct term. And maybe being blonde isn't a necessity, but it sure is fun! Makes me think of summer, being tan, wakeboarding, and having way more fun than everybody else. I've probably just offended ALL of my friends.... lol.

I'm blogging to blog today. Time has passed and I have let it. And that is not what I like doing. If I don’t blog, then my audience might think I have zero thoughts on life! Well I don’t! I’m full of them just waiting to be accessed.

I move in to my parents once again in less than ten days. I’m not really sure when the FINAL move is taking place, but either way it’ll be bittersweet. Highlights? Well there are few but I will be closer to Justin and my life won’t be so incredibly hectic and filled with driving. Well… the drive to work will be like living in Sweden and flying to Germany for work. But hey, who’s thinking about it? It’s a good time of reflection (aka singing loudly to loud music). There are more downfalls than I’m willing to type out, but it’s temporary and my parents aren’t charging me so in reality, I can’t complain. And I will keep it minimal if that’s the case. Hopefully it won’t end up here! Nobody wants to read about my tragic stories from the Rockford Trailer Park that I lived at when I was 4 and was scarred for life right? Oh. Wait. That sounds like a FANTASTIC story. Just wait for the excitement peeps!

It’s once again Easter weekend. This is probably my favorite holiday to spend at church. Thanksgiving and Christmas are tainted with the times I went without my family and my eyes swelled up in the back thinking how utterly bleak it is to come to church on a night where the pastor is physically preaching about family. That random pew in the back never felt lonelier. But Easter isn’t about family. It’s about Jesus on the cross. It’s about Jesus dying. It’s about Jesus rising again and taking away our sin. And for a few Good Friday services I’ve ended up at Open Door and they always do a really moving sermon. It’s powerful and I feel alive in my faith. I desperately need that now. I watch sermons, and sometimes Justin and I will talk about our faith and the questions I have regarding it, but I still don’t feel “moved” like I think I’m supposed to feel. Sure, I have those moments where the power and love of God consumes me and I feel this feeling that is indescribably great. But they are fleeting.

When will it stick? When I become a member at a church? Possibly. When I force myself to be in the word and force myself to pray more? Very likely. Draw closer to Him and He will draw closer to you right? So complicated. It is also very likely that my idea of what being a Christian feels like isn’t realistic. Maybe for some, yes, but maybe I’ve idealized the meaning and feeling of it. For some reason growing up a Christian my whole life (at least from what I’ve remembered) has left me more confused than others who accepted Him later in life. Why? I think it’s because it feels more like THEIR choice. That these people are doing it because they WANT to. I was just told (I think) that this is what it is, this is who Jesus is, and BAM you’re a believer. Did I ever ask Jesus in to my heart? I mean I’ve done things like that at some church retreats in high school, but when was the FIRST time I did it? I have no idea. I’m missing a huge part I feel like. Does anyone ever feel like this? I’d love to hear your response!

Anyway, the whole point of that ramble was to say that I’m going to a Friday, Saturday, AND a Sunday service. I’ll be churched out by the end of it! I should even bring my big Bible to feel even more intense about it. Haha. I’m not dreading it though; I’m actually very excited because it will be three different pastors. It’ll be fun to hear all their takes on this holiday. And who knows, maybe I’ll want more and listen to Mark Driscoll’s sermon the following Monday. Then I have FOUR examples to compare and contrast. Man, I better be taking notes!

I’m officially ready for summer. I feel that I’m healthy and I look better than last summer. My arm muscles are great, although that six-pack can show up any day now. No big deal, just broken resolutions from umpteen years ago. I can wait another year. I’m actually going to take up the offer through LA Fitness on using my free training session. I’ve been working out and feeling great, yet that layer of fat on my midsection will NOT budge. So these people will have to tell me what to do, because I’m out of options! Except giving up soda… yikes. That’s like desperate measure stuff. Addict? Yes, yes I am. Besides that, I cut my hair almost 3” And got super blonde highlights! It was scary at first and I felt like I got what I call the “marriage hair” (almost everyone I know gets married and then chops off all of their beautiful locks! People! Do you not realize that your husband might actually LIKE your long hair? Maybe I’ll understand when I get married. For now, long is beautiful!) But really it’s not THAT short. I’m just dramatic (who knew?). But now my hair is ready, my body is pretty ready, and my skin will hopefully be soaking up that beautiful vitamin D any day now.

How do these blogs get so incredibly long? Oh. That’s right. I like to talk. And write. And contemplate. Well there you have it. I’m a rambler.

Love