God give me strength today...

My life has been a soap opera this week. Really, if you look at this story that's been told, it's really been going on for three years. a Story of heartache, and tears, and laughter, and smiles.

I struggle because I have to lose a friend, maybe two. And I don't think he understands that this is a really hard thing for me to do. No, it's none of YOU (you know who you are) It's prob. someone who never reads this, but it's still hard. I've been friends with him for so long, and to let go is like a friend dying, and we all know how well I handle THAT.

Basically I have to let go because bad decisions have/had been made. I have to walk away because it's not worth screwing up a marriage, especially when you can take the easy route and just screw up the friendships. Marriage should be forever. And no, there was no cheating on... .don't think that low of me or anyone else involved. That's why it's dumb. But I'm respecting everyone and backing down.

I need the strength though. i hate being in this position. I mean my friend thinks I never cared about him! So not true. And I hate that he is left feeling that way. I don't think he'll forgive me for anything, and that I regret. I wish I could make this whole thing better. But I can't.

So if he ever reads this, I hope he really understands where I'm coming from, and i hope he knows that I did it for him and for her.

I trust God will always make the right decisions.... maybe it's for the best.... but I wish it wasn't. Sigh

Still happy though cuz it's sunny and it's the LAST DAY OF CLASSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10 days till surgery
21 days till jen's back
2 finals
5 days till SUMMER!!!!!

so many countdowns

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