Flirting With Disaster

Not sure why I chose that title. Maybe because I flirt with disaster. For instance, because I work two jobs, I am lacking sleep. Which means my immune system is low. Which also means I'm not up to par when I'm driving to work in the morning. Which means I easily get irritated throughout the day. All those things lead to disaster.

Or maybe it's because life is potentially one big disaster waiting to happen. I mean that's possible right? One major wrong move, and we are in disaster mode. That also makes life feel little more thrilling too! Instead of a mundane "this is my life" attitude, I feel like it's always an adventure, a Choose-Your-Own-Ending kind of thing. Free will or not (depending on your view of the bible and God) it's fun to choose your destiny in a sense.

Anyway, I apologize for my ranting, it's been a looong couple of days and I'm in Zombieland right now. I swear, I'll never feel better if I don't get the sleep I need. It's a okay to have a cold forever... right? lol.

Not too much has happened since Wednesday. But I'm trying to write more often and not such long posts because, frankly, I think people get exhausted. Or maybe you don't. Maybe you all love the random tangents I go on.

As of Wednesday, I have officially been a long-term gym goer. When I moved into the Beckman's house last summer, I signed up with LA Fitness just so I could start working out again. I was on a pay-per-week subscription because I wasn't sure how long I would be staying with them and I wasn't sure if I really could afford to go without having health insurance cover some of it.

That was August 1st, 2011. Now I can say that I have gone to the gym for several months at 12 times or more per month, that I've really learned how to work out, and how to work out certain areas of my body, and that I've really found a love in it. Working out isn't just "working out" anymore. It's a way to unwind, relax, and feel good about myself and my body. Sure, I'm not quite where I want to be weight and muscle wise, but I'm a heck of a lot closer than I was a year ago. In that time I also lost 12 pounds and kept it off. I may have lost more, but I also think I've gained muscle which has maybe added a few pounds back on.

At my lowest, before I started a day job that required 8 hours of sitting, I had lost almost 20 pounds! So trying to adjust to this new sedentary lifestyle (besides the few nights a week I serve and run around for hours on end) has been difficult. I hope by August 1st, 2013 I'll have reached my goal weight (an extra 14 pounds) Fingers crossed!

Besides that, this week has been pretty mellow. I don't have any crazy plans for the weekend, no dramas has happened... i've pretty much just been working. Oh the joys of adulthood. OH! I will say Jenna Marbles (on Youtube) made a new video about her boyfriend putting her makeup on for her... it's 9 minutes of hilariousness! Seriously. Watch it. You'll love it.

Cheers to the weekend my friends!

Always, A

The Only Political Rant I'll Give

I'm not political. I don't like to post stuff on Facebook to talk about all the injustice in the world, or if I'm Republican or Democrat or if I'm a Christian who thinks it's all whack... whatever. Not my thing. Sure, I am a Christian, but my allegiance doesn't align with a party, or a sexual orientation, it aligns with God. Anyway, NOT the point right now.

Here's the problem. Look, I love you. I think you are great people (either Facebook friends, real-life friends, or readers of this blog) and I am happy to know you. We all have our own issues and our burdens in this life that may not make sense to others, or have something that's easy to judge from afar, but I'm well aware of this and I try to look past all of that. BUT when you start politically ranting on your Facebook just so the news feed will pop up with your rants, it infuriates me. I don't HAVE to believe in gay marriage, I don't HAVE to believe in voting Democrat/Republican, I don't HAVE to agree/disagree with war. And the fact that it's not that you want me to be tolerate of the idea of these things (which I pretty much am), it's that you intend on conforming me to believe the same beliefs that you have. And you do it rudely and disrespectfully.

Let's take an example... gay marriage. I know this is a button pusher, but if we're pushing buttons on one end, might as well on the other right? I have plenty of gay friends. In or not in relationships. Some want to get married, some are happy just dating, or some are just happy playing the field. Awesome. That's your judgement call, not mine. I don't know if you are born gay, or choose to be gay, or what have you, but again, it's fine. It is what it is. I still love my friends for it, although I don't necessarily agree with it. But for some reason that's not okay. It angers people that I may not agree with their lifestyle or the fact that I believe marriage is a sacred vow given to us by God and you can't really argue the parameters of marriage with God. And while I believe this, and have many other views on this topic, I keep to myself because I don't need anyone attacking my personal beliefs. Just how I DON'T attack yours. So why do you feel the need to put such hate out there? I don't hate you, I don't hate your personal beliefs.

Are you telling me that when there are things in my life you don't approve of, you don't get to judge me on it? I'm pretty sure you do. I'm pretty sure you make it a point to attack said problem and make things better. Why is it such a hypocritical topic? Why can I be attacked for my sins and problems but if I just happen to LOVE you but disagree with you, I've burned you at the stake? I would just love if someone could make this clear to me.

All I'm getting at is that as a Christian, I'm taught to love one another, not demean others and tell them how horribly sinful they are and how they are going to hell. I don't get to make that call. I get to be the light onto the world and hope that people see Christ through me. That's my job. You want answers to your questions? Sure, maybe God will give me some.  You want me to be your friend? Awesome! I love friends! But you want me to change my entire belief system to make you feel better at night that one more person agrees with you? Sorry. Doesn't work that way. We can talk all day long, and you may be better at arguments (I never win them) but it won't change anything. Just accept the love that I give you and stop trying to corner me into changing my beliefs. I'm not doing it to you, so stop doing it to me.

Good grief.

Oh man these topics are trouble. Let's see if I get any rage on this thing. Haha.

Always, A

...And Then Just Like That, Summer Was Almost Over!

It's Been WARM to the extreme this summer. I'm not complaining. I'm just stating a fact. Which has nothing to do with the fact that I rarely blog. But I've realized a lot of things. 1) Justin is the problem. That's it. Why don't I get enough sleep? Boyfriend. Why am do I still have 30 episodes on Hulu awaiting to be viewed by me? Boyfriend. Why am I constantly booked with a million things to do? Haha jk, that was a trick question. But because we are always together, we see twice as many people. At any rate, when he has been galavanting all over this summer (currently in the Boundary Waters) I tend to get things done.

So clearly I'm writing my blog, I finally did laundry, cleaned my room, watched some Hulu, and I feel refreshed with an actual normal night's sleep. Don't get me wrong though, I would rather be all the things listed above then comfortable and full of sleep and watching Hulu in my room under the covers.

The Olympics start tonight! How exciting is that? I'm not sure if I'm excited about it, or just reminiscent of the last time they were on. This means that about four years ago, my wonderful friends Kara, Justin, and Zach were road tripping across America (pretty much) seeing Laura and Mason when they actually lived in Nebraska, the Grand Canyon, Vegas, and Justin's wonderful family in Colorado. I honestly think that was the best trip I've taken with my friends. The other top two would be Hawaii (duh, I was in HAWAII for a MONTH) and the second road-trip with pretty much the same people. And then of course the ones to Nebraska, the one with Laura to D.C., the ones to Milwaukee, Chicago, Michigan... I road trip a lot what can I say! Anyway, I just love things that you can pinpoint your life by, and this is one of those events.

Let's see if I can catch you guys up from the last time I posted! I pretty much write down everything I do now in my planner so I don't forget... well life! It's second best to actually blogging my entire life. Which if I had the proper phone or iPad to do it, I honestly would. Here is the last TWO MONTHS in 3 sentences or less!

JENNA MARBLES: HAHAHAAH Funniest girl on YouTube. A little crude, but hey, who isn't at times? Every Wednesday she make something new, but you should watch "I hate being a grown up" or  "How girls pack."

Biopsy: Yep, had a lump in my breast biopsied (is that even a word?) and it was utterly terrifying. Don't worry friends, we don't know WHAT it was, but I'm fine, it's not cancerous, and it's gone!

Wakeboarding: Every week. Every Tuesday. I have gotten MUCH better and enjoy feeling the water on my skin and the sun engulfing us AND I can even drive the boat somewhat!

Weddings: Okay, well really it was one, and it was in the beginning of June, but it was my friend from Bdubs (Alissa) and her husband Eric with which I worked with at the Minnesota Timberwolves. It was a hot day but it was a blast hanging out with all my work people.

Europe: No fools. I don't have a passport and I've never been there, but Joe and Debbie went for three weeks! It was fun playing house while they were gone, but it was good to have them back and they said they had a blast... someday for me!

Engagements: Again fools, not me. BELIEVE ME... you'd KNOW If I had a ring on my finger. Kara's boyfriend (now fiancee) gave Kara a secret proposal at the Stone Arch Bridge and all their friends and family were invited to watch the magic happen... it was perfect and Kara was so surprised!

Romans: Justin and I have been going through the Book of Romans and it's been really amazing. I mean, I had NO idea that most of the the things I live by and know to be true come from Romans. If you want the "spark notes" version of the Bible, read Romans.

Blue Man Group: This was a Christmas present from the Knapps but we didn't get to go until mid-June. Wow... it was awesome and funny and amazing. I actually really enjoyed going without having a CLUE as to what it was about.

Waxing: Umm.... too personal. And painful. What an adventure to say the least.

Families: My summer has been filled with them! Between Justin's extended family BBQ's, visits to V, living with my parents, Sophie and Ashley, and other random family things, Justin and I have been booked. Who knew I'd ever become a family-girl?

Car-fixin': Well, while Nate and I learned to change our serpentine belt, rotors, and brake pads on our cars, Joe, Justin, and Camry pretty much pointed out that Nate and I work so well together we could leave our significant others and run away together. Sorry kids, won't happen, although Nate is G8... haha. ANYWAY, I love that I've learned how to fix my car for a fraction of the price!

Justin MIA: Boy, he sure has been busy this summer! Two trips to New Orleans (one for a wedding and one for the National Youth Conference as a leader), a camping trip with with a couple of us, and now a Boundary Waters trip. I told him he's not allowed to leave ever again without me. We'll see about that... at least he's been having fun and really getting a summer vacation.

Changes: Seward finally got a CORPORATE job (at least for a 6-month contract deal) and I think it's been eye opening and exciting for her. Corie got into a grad school and is leaving in a few short weeks to Virignia (you will be missed girl!). Kyle got into a school in Washington State and leaves in September.  Kara's younger Ben GRADUATED high school and had a fantastic grad party (90's theme... put on some girls sweater that was hanging out on a couch... and she noticed. AWKWARD). And I personally have been contemplating the idea of becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist. I know I've mentioned it a little in blogs past, especially with the idea of Justin starting a church, but I feel even more pulled towards that direction. I'll keep praying ( and I hope you do too) because if this is what I'm meant to do, I'm all for it. :)

Ashley: This lady I got to see a LOT while Justin has been traipsing around the country. I've never watched so much Nip/Tuck, walked so much to eat good food and tasty fro-yo! I've loved getting to be with her a lot this summer!

4th of July: Sarah was in town, I saw the entire Fleming family at the Delano parade, had a great dinner with the Crist's, and then ended the night with my ankles in Lake Calhoun as we watched multiple firework shows drinking ciders. I'm going to have to go there next year because it was THAT amazing. Plus I had Tuesday-Sunday off from work and it was a breath of fresh air.

Friends: I honestly don't know how I've seen as many people as I have. But I am thankful that God has allowed me time to catch up with all of them. Justin and I may be booked, but we find it a blessing and just know that if I have not seen you yet... you're time is coming!

Work: We have yet to hire another Assistant Editor, starting to think we won't. Everyone at Bdubs had one shift cut from their schedule, meaning I only work once a week and it's been hurting my ability to pay extra on bills... oh well. Besides feeling a little burned out, work-life has been steady and decent.

Camping: Mentioned earlier, but I took my one (and probably only) camping trip of the summer last weekend! IT was nice to get away, take a Friday off, and relax. Although we heard a coyote drown/kill an animal in the pond by the cabin, and it was freaky!!

Faith: I think it's been very helpful going through Romans with Justin, just to keep my interest in my faith... I feel it's hard to stay focused in the summer! We've also been going to church consistently (although not the church I want to be at forever) and I've enjoyed being in faith with God and Justin.

There you have it! My summer (thus far) in less than 1100 words. Okay, I went long on CHANGES but that section could have had a million sub-sections. Whatever. I pretty much followed what I said I was going to do. NOW... I must work on actual work! Love everyone who reads this because it's fun to write to my invisible audience. IF not just to get it out there.

Always, A

Distance makes the heart grow fonder... or increasingly desperate

The lack of writing is not what i had in mind. I imagined myself writing constantly while I was at work. Until I realized that I actually have to WORK when I'm working. Go figure. So it isn't right to say that I have no motivation to blog, just no time really. I think it's funny that as children, all we want to do is to grow up, get a grown up job, and do grown up things. Well, most of that is still true, but grownup jobs are difficult things to have. I am blessed, however, to be at a job that is what I exactly wanted to do. Write. Write for a magazine. Write and be paid well. And by well, I mean more than I was making on a part-time server income. In a way, I have arrived to the future I was always yearning for. Is it what i pictured? A little bit. The beauty of a dream is that it forever changes, forever is manipulated by time and life choices. So yes, in one way, I am here, doing what I love, being the person I always thought I would be (except when I doubted my ability compared to the friends I have that are so fluid and full of expressions with the human language).

This ultimately means, my dreams have been changed and altered slightly. Now I want to know what it feels like to be published as an author of a novel (which I guess has always been in my mind) or what it's like to work for a bigger magazine company. One that has a large circulation base and a few hundred workers. One that is nationally known. Who knows. I also have the dream of being a counselor through a church. I know I've mentioned that before and probably know too many blog posts ago, but it's something that I feel stirring inside of me. With the idea that Justin could quite possibly start a church, be involved in a startup church, or work for a church, I felt that, as a girlfriend (or possibly a future wife someday) it is important to share the same passions. Yah, sure, if Justin went into finance, I wouldn't work as a secretary there, and I don't need to be a part of EVERYTHING he does in life, but this is a big thing. Working in a church is not a "9-5, honey i'll be home on the weekends and we can talk about my day over dinner" type of thing. We have to be fully committed to living a different kind of lifestyle, and I knew that meant that I would have to be involved somehow. Kind of like my friend John and Anna. John is the youth pastor at a church, and Anna runs Sunday school. It's a perfect fit for her. She went to school to teach children, and that's exactly what's she's doing. I had to really think about it, and I don't think it was in one day I came to the answer I was looking for. It was something in the afterthought of my day-to-day life, and then suddenly, it dawned on me. I have a passion for people, I listen, I give advice, I share in people's emotions, and so forth. Then it came to me that when I did the test in high-school to find out what my spiritual gifts were, and a lot of them were empathy, compassion, and all those other types of emotional ones. I wasn't sure what to do with that then. Now I do. And most of it is from God. I can't say I came to this conclusion on my own, but I think God has wanted this from me way before I ever even thought about it. So I guess those are my current, up to date, dreams for the future.

I think I've had a blessed life, even with the constant struggles of life. People were unfortunately right when they said "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I am a stronger person for learning how to get student loans, paying them off myself, learning how to manage money, learning I can't afford certain things, stumbling in faith, in life, in relationships, and all the other things life throws at you. It has shaped my being down to the core, and I feel lucky to be where I am.

In other news, I should comment on why my blog entry is entitled such an odd thing. Usually blogs are entitled from the music that is in my life, but nothing came to mind that would fit perfectly. This title refers to Justin. He just got back from his cousin Melissa's wedding in New Orleans. I'm not sure if I posted this, but the two of us were originally supposed to go, but tickets to fly were upwards from $400 and driving just the two of us was also pretty expensive. So I exed it out of my plans. Then suddenly, some of his family members were driving and they had a spot open, so we both agreed he should go. I am thrilled he got to go, be with his family, and be at a great wedding with great people. I've also learned.... New Orleans is a place I think I can just "drive through" and not really stay for a while. 90 and humid and sunny everyday? No thanks. I need beaches, dry heat, and sometimes a waver in the temperature, otherwise I become a sticky monster (Ask Justin, it's a real thing). He likes to say I'm "stickified" which is an unfortunate. At any rate, I was completely fine not being in contact with my boyfriend. In all honesty life gets completely wrapped up when you have a boyfriend that is your best friend. it almost becomes standard that you are in constant contact with them. When Justin still had his job we were talking on our way to work, talking at lunch, talking on my way to bdubs, and then seeing each other at night or talking right before bed. that's a lot. Even I know that's a lot. So when he said he was leaving, I instantly scheduled up my time with people that I never see anymore. I saw so many friends! I went running! I caught up on tv shows! I finished the Hunger Games series! I mean it was insane!

I was able to talk to him Saturday for two hours, pretty much to catch up on our life since Thursday, but then I wasn't in contact with him until he came home on Wednesday. And everything was fine until Tuesday. Tuesday I went back to work, stopped having plans with people, stopped running due to some weird kink in my neck, and bam. Reality hit me. I really missed him. I didn't like being away from him. He's my best friend and I can't even tell him about my dumb day to day life. Needless to say I was desperate to see him by the time I left Bdubs that night. Of course he decides to tell me he is going back to New Orleans for a week (without telling me when or with who or why) so I then cried myself all the way to his house. Oh man. What a train wreck. Our friend Nate was there when I got there, and i'm sure he must have thought I lost my mind. I probably did for a moment. And I made Justin so sad because i was so incredibly sad. He apologize for ruining the moment because he knew how much I had missed him and how I was dying to see him. I forgave him that night, but man. Distance sucks. if he ever chooses to go to Boston... I'm not sure what i'll do. It'll be one of the hardest things to go through, that's for sure.

Alright, i've rambled on enough, but I feel this was a good one. Enjoy my friends. More to come from what is to be an amazing summer....

Always,
A

The Moment I Said It

I decided to pull up Pandora today and name my post according to the song that came up. Bam. This was it. Imogen Heap how i love you and your beautifully haunting voice. :)

Maybe this should be the theme of my blog today. Maybe not. I'm not even exactly sure what that would mean.

So, it's been a month. I know, it's been a long time. That's my fault. But my day to day life isn't THAT interesting. I'm no longer a member at LA Fitness, but now at SNAP fitness which is nowhere near as great as LA. The machines are awful. And it's so small. But i knew that i would never go if i was still there because there are none by my house. Boo. Someday i'll go back! I paid lots of bills on time AND way over the amount they required and now it looks like i'll have my last CC and my car paid off by December! I'll really be starting 2013 off with a bang! My bills will be about $700 less than they were a year ago at that time. It'll be a very exciting time. Can't wait! I've seen a lot of friends i haven't seen in a while in the last month as well. It's refreshing to see your random friends. There isn't enough time in a day to see them all, which makes it EXTRA special when you see them.

I ran the Susan G. Komen race for the cure on Sunday and ran it in 29 minutes! I was impressed! I had to stop and walk twice, but only for short times and i thought for sure i'd get well over 30 minutes. I must have been running pretty fast if i could stop twice and STILL get a good time. Plus i don't run outside often so it's always just a little bit harder than running indoors. I went with Molly Taylor and it was a pretty fun morning, even though the race started at 7:30AM at the Mall of America! OMG. Seriously. Who RUNS that early!?!!? Whatever, Molly and I got pancakes after, so i think it was worth it. And of course, i got my free t-shirt. yay!

My father also turned 60. 60! I mean that is pretty dang old. He's lived through so much! I mean he was born in 1952! He's been through wars, peace and love, the change of african American's lives, everything. I wonder what our lives will look like when we are 60. What will we have experienced? So far it seems mostly like technology, 9/11, OJ Simpson trial (haha), the millennium change, and the Iraq war. Doesn't seem that interesting now, but maybe it will be when our kids ask us about it. I wonder if my kids will be interested in my blog when i have them. I mean i've been recording my life for years. Sure, i've only blogged for 7 years (that actually is quite a bit!) but i've also journaled a lot since I was 15. That's almost 11 years of recorded history. Hopefully within all of that i've written SOMETHING significant. Or at least something to give my kids an idea of who I was when I was young. That's important. I learn things about my mom all the time and think, wow. You are so different than you are now. Life changes you, shapes you, and sometimes someone you are friends with now won't know you in 20 years from now. Makes me want to read my 15-year-old journals....

I had my first dentist appointment in YEARS yesterday. Talk about painful and awful. Seriously people: GO TO THE DENTIST ON A REGULAR BASIS! AND FLOSS! I knew it was going to be bad. But it hurt a lot. So much that it still hurts today. I had a lot of build up from not getting a deep clean. And a lot of sensitive and inflammation in my gums. Ouchies. Lots of bleeding. Lots of cavities. but zero root canals needed and no cavities between my teeth. So it was bad and expensive, but it'll be great hopefully in 6 months when I go back and get my cavities filled and get my teeth back to normal. At least as normal as they can be. There hopefully will be a lot of flossing and good brushing in between these two appointments. The bright side is the place that I go to now has a lot of nice people which makes it easier to be there. My goal is to have almost zero bleeding when i go back. Fingers crossed. Haha.

I think that's it for now. I don't want to write TOO much, but it was nice to get all that out!  I wish i had something deep and meaningful to write about. Maybe something will creep into my mind soon. At any rate, the weather is great and the lake should be wakeboard-able by this weekend! YES.

Always, A

This Isn't Everything You Are...

Whelp. It’s that week. The week of Travis. It has been nothing like it usually has. He hasn’t been brought up in conversation, I haven’t tried to seek out a VHS player to watch the tape of all the videos that were made of him, and I haven’t contemplated if I should go to the grave. Is it really to that point? Is nine years the time we start to care less? Maybe. Maybe not. I guess life has been moving so fast forward that I haven’t had a chance to look back. I don’t think it’s something to feel guilty about or anything, just a simple realization that this boy that was one of my best friends, wouldn’t know me today. Think of the things he’s missed! I mean, I think about our last memories together, and I can’t tell if it’s a movie, or just this illusion I’ve created for myself. It’s so unreal. Do you think we’d still be friends? I would hope so but who knows what he would have done with his life.

I still plan on going to the accident site, and joining in our new tradition of getting ice cream with friends, but it’s different. Luckily I have a book that I can delve in to when I’m feeling removed from my past. It brings my right back to where I was and how that has changed my entire life. Is it normal to move on? Or is it something we simply forget? Should we hold on to our past? I haven’t quite decided. That was a defining moment in our lives, learning how to deal with death, and where we stood with God. It’s almost a moment of rebirth. Oh the things to ponder on a gloomy Thursday morning....

Besides the reality check, life has been good. I officially moved BACK in with my parents (mid twenties crisis??) to Rockford, into what my mother likes to call “manufactured home estates.” Oh boy. While I resent the fact that I lived there 20 years ago, I have to admit it’s not as bad as the first time around. I mean heck, this trailer is BIGGER than the house I grew up in! How is that even possible!? My parents are happy, they are at the edge of the park and look over the Crow River and Rebecca Park. They have a deck, pretty trees, a birdbath, and a fire pit thing. My mother keeps making dinner and breakfast, asking if I want any. She sits on the adjacent extra bed in the room I’m in and we have girly chitchat. Where the heck did I move? It’s also been nice to know that my boyfriend is 5 minutes away, instead of 45 minutes. What a relief

Work has been going well. Lots of articles written, lots of reading/editing/re-editing. Lots of learning about the random things on the Internet on my dead time. Lots of e-mails to friends. LOTS of sitting. The thing that bothers me the most is the sitting. I can’t stand it! I’m used to running around and being active, and now I know why people get fat as they age. They SIT all day long, eight hours a day, five days a week. Are you kidding me? How is it that I work for a healthy living magazine, and we sit all day and eat out a lot? I mean the eating out is my fault, I need to find time to go to the grocery store, but why can’t we have breaks during the day to go on walks, or have treadmills, or something? I don’t want a fat office butt!! Shallow much?? Lol. The only thing I can do is to switch gym memberships so I can go to the one that’s less than 2 miles from my parents. I need to be proactive on my health since I won’t be getting help from anyone else. Good thing health insurance will be kicking in soon!

In other news, Justin was fired several days ago. I know. I should have posted earlier, but it’s been crazy between the move, the firing, and so forth. But here I am, telling you now! It was pretty weird. I mean, in reality him and his boss didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, and with both of them being dominant and not able to stand down ideas, we knew it wasn’t going to be a job he had forever. Plus, the commute doubled when they moved the offices farther south. It really has opened up doors for him though. He can be on unemployment for now, finish paying off school, and start taking seminary classes online. It’s not ideal in his book, but sometimes that is just the way life is. We all have to have patience in different parts of our lives, and this is his. Either way, he’ll still be on his way for his MDiv. And this way we don’t have to worry about the future for us. Not yet anyway. ;)

I was one of the lucky ones too. I. Saw. Titanic. In. 3D. Hahah! Epic epicness. That’s what I have to say about it. Sure, there are cheesy parts, but we already knew that. And the 3D wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. NOTHING like the nauseating affects from Avatar. It made it feel real, like I was floating in the water right along with them. It was pretty trippy. Of course, what made it the most enjoyable was the fact that Alyssa and Kara had never seen the movie in the theater so it was fun to be apart of that with them. The weekend also had Twins game in it. Oh. My. Gosh! I went to a game that had the BEST weather possible. Sure, they lost, but really, I wanted to be outside enjoying the fresh spring air, and that’s exactly what I got. Oh yah, and I got a jumbo super big hotdog. Yums.

Okay, time for me to get back to work and well…. Work! Enjoy your life and the people in it the rest of this week. Give more hugs than usual and tell people you love them. It sometimes makes all the difference.

Love

Be Wise, Be Funny, Be Blonde

I think all those things are inherently important. Okay, maybe inherently is not the correct term. And maybe being blonde isn't a necessity, but it sure is fun! Makes me think of summer, being tan, wakeboarding, and having way more fun than everybody else. I've probably just offended ALL of my friends.... lol.

I'm blogging to blog today. Time has passed and I have let it. And that is not what I like doing. If I don’t blog, then my audience might think I have zero thoughts on life! Well I don’t! I’m full of them just waiting to be accessed.

I move in to my parents once again in less than ten days. I’m not really sure when the FINAL move is taking place, but either way it’ll be bittersweet. Highlights? Well there are few but I will be closer to Justin and my life won’t be so incredibly hectic and filled with driving. Well… the drive to work will be like living in Sweden and flying to Germany for work. But hey, who’s thinking about it? It’s a good time of reflection (aka singing loudly to loud music). There are more downfalls than I’m willing to type out, but it’s temporary and my parents aren’t charging me so in reality, I can’t complain. And I will keep it minimal if that’s the case. Hopefully it won’t end up here! Nobody wants to read about my tragic stories from the Rockford Trailer Park that I lived at when I was 4 and was scarred for life right? Oh. Wait. That sounds like a FANTASTIC story. Just wait for the excitement peeps!

It’s once again Easter weekend. This is probably my favorite holiday to spend at church. Thanksgiving and Christmas are tainted with the times I went without my family and my eyes swelled up in the back thinking how utterly bleak it is to come to church on a night where the pastor is physically preaching about family. That random pew in the back never felt lonelier. But Easter isn’t about family. It’s about Jesus on the cross. It’s about Jesus dying. It’s about Jesus rising again and taking away our sin. And for a few Good Friday services I’ve ended up at Open Door and they always do a really moving sermon. It’s powerful and I feel alive in my faith. I desperately need that now. I watch sermons, and sometimes Justin and I will talk about our faith and the questions I have regarding it, but I still don’t feel “moved” like I think I’m supposed to feel. Sure, I have those moments where the power and love of God consumes me and I feel this feeling that is indescribably great. But they are fleeting.

When will it stick? When I become a member at a church? Possibly. When I force myself to be in the word and force myself to pray more? Very likely. Draw closer to Him and He will draw closer to you right? So complicated. It is also very likely that my idea of what being a Christian feels like isn’t realistic. Maybe for some, yes, but maybe I’ve idealized the meaning and feeling of it. For some reason growing up a Christian my whole life (at least from what I’ve remembered) has left me more confused than others who accepted Him later in life. Why? I think it’s because it feels more like THEIR choice. That these people are doing it because they WANT to. I was just told (I think) that this is what it is, this is who Jesus is, and BAM you’re a believer. Did I ever ask Jesus in to my heart? I mean I’ve done things like that at some church retreats in high school, but when was the FIRST time I did it? I have no idea. I’m missing a huge part I feel like. Does anyone ever feel like this? I’d love to hear your response!

Anyway, the whole point of that ramble was to say that I’m going to a Friday, Saturday, AND a Sunday service. I’ll be churched out by the end of it! I should even bring my big Bible to feel even more intense about it. Haha. I’m not dreading it though; I’m actually very excited because it will be three different pastors. It’ll be fun to hear all their takes on this holiday. And who knows, maybe I’ll want more and listen to Mark Driscoll’s sermon the following Monday. Then I have FOUR examples to compare and contrast. Man, I better be taking notes!

I’m officially ready for summer. I feel that I’m healthy and I look better than last summer. My arm muscles are great, although that six-pack can show up any day now. No big deal, just broken resolutions from umpteen years ago. I can wait another year. I’m actually going to take up the offer through LA Fitness on using my free training session. I’ve been working out and feeling great, yet that layer of fat on my midsection will NOT budge. So these people will have to tell me what to do, because I’m out of options! Except giving up soda… yikes. That’s like desperate measure stuff. Addict? Yes, yes I am. Besides that, I cut my hair almost 3” And got super blonde highlights! It was scary at first and I felt like I got what I call the “marriage hair” (almost everyone I know gets married and then chops off all of their beautiful locks! People! Do you not realize that your husband might actually LIKE your long hair? Maybe I’ll understand when I get married. For now, long is beautiful!) But really it’s not THAT short. I’m just dramatic (who knew?). But now my hair is ready, my body is pretty ready, and my skin will hopefully be soaking up that beautiful vitamin D any day now.

How do these blogs get so incredibly long? Oh. That’s right. I like to talk. And write. And contemplate. Well there you have it. I’m a rambler.

Love

2 Years... 730 Days of Crazy

I entitled this article a few weeks ago, and somehow never found time to comment on it. But it was one I wanted to write because it’s something I don’t want to forget. It really has been a whirlwind of the last 730 days (now 742 to be exact. Haha).

Justin and I are not normal. I am well aware of this. It’s pretty common to hear that we “touch each other too much” or something to that affect. And honestly, I’m fine with that. I’m an affectionate person who gives hug, tells people I love them, and so forth. So it’s not shocking that these types of love would go to my boyfriend of two years. That’s the funny thing though. TWO YEARS and I feel like its day one. We still call each other daily, we still like seeing each other, cuddling is still a big deal, and I still look at him and know that he is great. Sorry peeps, this is mushy.

My point is that I never forget that we’re dating, never forget that relationships take work, and yes, a fight here and there. Big things happen in life. Deciding on whether to go to seminary, get married, have kids, buy a house, move or stay in a certain city, or whatever are all big decisions. Of course both people are going to have ideas of their future and they’ll probably defend that idea in conversation. And that’s where I am at in my life. We have a lot to figure out and it feels like it’s in fast mode. Which is funny because all in all we’ve been dating for three years and friends for five years in between that. But in all honesty, we’re trying to figure out our FUTURE in a few months. It’s crazy. But I know that this is what a relationship is, through the good and the bad. And if we get mad, we know it only lasts a little while and then we’ll be back to being the annoyingly touchy feely couple that I love being.

One idea I’ve been thinking about in well…. The last day or so, but really I feel a desire to do this for a while, is counseling at some point. Crazy right? Obviously I’d have to go back to school, what a headache! But honestly, if Justin and I do get married and he does plant a church, I feel that my way of being apart of all that is to counsel through the church. This is something I need to pray about and really think about because I won’t just jump in thinking that I’ll be great at it, but if Justin does plant a church, I want to be involved and support him in his mission. I’m not a preacher, I’m not a Sunday school teacher, I’m not a marketing director, or a leader of missions trips, by golly I can listen and I can encourage and I can pray. And with a little bit of teaching, and years of learning, I can give wisdom and biblical truth, and something for people to hold on to. God willing. So if people who read this would like to pray over this, I’d really like to feel God lead me to that place. But of course, this is all future chit-chat… nothing I’m acting upon right now, considering I have insurmountable amounts of debt currently. Haha.

At any rate, the last two years have had their highs and lows, but I’m excited we got to reach this new point. It’s uncharted territory for us. We’ve done the one year thing, but the two? It means more. It feels longer. It feels like you’re in it for the long haul. It’s when people really have to start questioning their motives with being with someone. But we should get to the FUN stuff.

So I know a 2 year anniversary of DATING doesn’t usually require people to take out all the stops in their plans for this special day, but we kind of did. We kind of deserved it to ourselves and to one another to really take time and process our life lately. We ended up taking half days (YAY!) and were able to meet around 1 for lunch in Uptown at a Thai restaurant. It was something I knew he liked to eat and thought I’d give it another chance. I had pad thai with Olivia in Hawaii a few years ago and I thought it was so gross! But this was actually good! And our server had this “cool” presence to him. And I don’t mean like he thought he was cool, but he was legitimately cool. He was funny and said the right things and MAN I just wanted to ask him if he knew how good of a server he was? Of course I didn’t. That’s scary. After that we quick got ice cream from the Edina Creamery. I must say, Sebastian Joes has WAY better ice cream. I mean it was good, but not the BEST.

After that we went to Vertical Endeavors in Uptown. Oh.My.Gosh.Amazing. So much fun. I’m glad that was the big plan that night. Again, I wanted to do something he would love and I would enjoy and we for sure found it. I’ve done a few climbing walls in my years ( church retreats or school outings) and I always liked it, but this was SO much better! It was hard and crazy and strenuous and exciting! I loved getting to the top, although I think I did it twice and that was it. The walls were huge and some of the hand holding areas were small and difficult to grasp. And I have very delicate hands (lol) so they got dried out and rough pretty quickly. Thank goodness for chalk. I wasn’t even sure what people used chalk for. Now I for sure know. Justin said I did really well, but it’s because I was determined. I’m still very determined to make it up those walls. If it was cheaper we’d totally get a membership, but for now, we’ll just wait and see what we want to do. By the end my hands were crippled and we were sweaty and exhausted, but we felt great. That meant we should celebrate! We ended our evening at Cheesecake Factory and sharing a glass of this amazing Moscato (seven daughters) followed by a great pasta and 30^th anniversary cheesecake, anniversary jokes included. (Maybe we can eat THIS on our 30^th anniversary! Hardee har har) I think I slept pretty dang well that night.

So there you have it, the long schpeel about my anniversary and life. There were other things I was going to mention, but this is long enough. I’m sure people reading this are rolling their eyes but that’s okay, this post was dedicated to one of the biggest things in my life at this point, so I think it’s fitting.

Ps- Evelyn (my wonderful niece) is almost 7 months old and she can roll over no matter what side she is on, can sit, can stand while holding the couch, and is just amazing. I can’t wait until she can comprehend the love I have for her. What a wonderful little lady!

Love

Needing is one thing, And gettin's another

Yesterday: Bright, sunny, warm, cool breeze, vitamin D overload, driving with windows down, music blaring, happiness seeping from my pores.... and yet... everyone else made it seem like it was TODAY (gloomy, cold, rainy, gross). I don't understand how people can have a bad day on a beautiful day. Especially when it's the FIRST great day. Yes, it's been a mild winter and that's great, but when that Vitamin D is shooting off everywhere, it should typically raise the moods of people. I actually thought yesterday when I was at my peak happiness that it was too good to be true, and I felt that the happiness was going to leave. Boy, I called that one from a mile away.

Of course I don't want to make this a pity party. No no. Even when today looks crappy and it's another day of work and people are continuing in bad moods, I think I have to be that beacon of light. That's always been my problem. If someone is in a really bad mood, I, in turn, become bitter and upset. I crumble under pressure. Today is my test. Stay positive. Life is good. Bills are being paid, I'm trucking away on my sermons, I'm writing articles, I'm getting published. Honestly I have NO reason to be upset.

On a happier note, V is 6 months old this month and she is just stinkin cute. Good gracious. Although I am a master of making her up-chuck (sorry baby! I just want to keep you smiling by wiggling you around... after you eat....) she is still my favorite thing ever. AND my niece Ashley is 2 this week! Man they are growing up so fast it's crazy. I've said this time and again but I've been watching Ashley and being in her life since she was 9 months old.... MAN. I've been around for a while. I've loved watching her grow up from baby to toddler. She's talking and walking and running and picking out what her own birthday cake looks like! Life is just crazy but I love being around for it.

Since I posted last I became published (which I did forewarn you all about in a previous post) and I feel sooooooo great about it! I'm trying REALLY hard not to boast, but seriously... this is something i've been waiting for since the ripe age of 7. 18 YEARS later... here I am. Perseverance prevails, patience prevails, and God is good.

As I'm writing this I am listening to my sermon of the day (although it's one that I should have listened to three days ago... I'm behind) but it's about porn. AH. And I'm listening to it at work. Haha. But it's REALLY good. It's crazy when he says like children end up coming across porn one way or another by the age of 11. I mean I remember being a kid online with my childhood friend and my sister clicking into these ridiculous chat room on AOL and while we were toying around with naughty IM's, the other people were SERIOUS. I didn't think anything of it when I was a kid, but it's horrifying now. I didn't "get in to it" or anything, but as kids, we're curious. WE know nothing about it so we start looking in to it. Unfortunately, it's an addicting habit that people struggle with forever, but I think God was helping me stay away from it. But Mark Driscoll makes a good point when he's talking about how we all know what "hardcore porn" but we totally forget about the fact that these R rated movies we are watching and the TV shows we are watching still affect us in a negative way. And I know I want my husband to be my standard of beauty. I know I'm already tainted with the things I've seen and it leaves an impression on you. It's all very scary.

Well that's all that's on my mind today. Remember to stay positive, and be grateful for the people that try to help you through these hard times. We are only human and we can only help so much. I know I am a hypocrite because I get REALLY mean when I am really down about something. But I appreciate when Justin or whoever tries to help.

Love, A

Politics, Science, and Theology

I did not know that these three topics would become so important to me. Okay, they aren’t important yet, but I’m striving to have them mean something to me besides the thing my boyfriend is interested in. On Saturday I hung out with Justin all day and we decided to make a late night run to Wal-Mart for some kicks. I did have items in mind when I went there, but I’m more than positive I only remembered two of them. That’s how it goes in that store though. I’m usually helplessly looking at my surroundings and wondering how I ended up there. No joke. It’s such a weird store with weird people and weird smells. ANYWAY, drifting from my point… I would say Justin and I had a semi-fight at this glorious store. Mostly because we DON’T fight… and that I’m TOO agreeable. Who knew these were even things people could be irritated by? Just blows my mind.

Now don’t get the wrong idea, it wasn’t a battle or a screaming match, and no blood was drawn, but we definitely had some passions to share with each other. And again, I cannot stress enough how IMPORTANT it is to communicate properly. While I’ve been sitting here thinking I’m doing a wonderful job at being a girlfriend, my boyfriend comes to tell me that I don’t act like I care about the things he cares about. ::deadstop:: what?! Sure, I zone out when he talks about his job for the 100^th time, or the second politics are mentioned I roll my eyes and grab my phone to either text someone or play a game, but I CARE. Don’t I? Maybe not actually. Faking it is transparent and kinda sucks when your significant other could care less. It’s disrespectful and makes the other one wonder what to do with it. A point for me is that I do really think Theology is interesting, but it’s hard for me to grasp fully, meaning it’s hard for me to have a lengthy conversation on it. Either way, there are things I need to improve on. And he does too. We actually gave each other homework assignments on such topics. Haha… and so far so good. I have learned why the Speaker of the House is next in line if the President and Vice President die for some odd reason, and I have also brought up some very great questions regarding theology and the sermons I’ve been listening to. Which makes me feel really great. It brings some conflict in our seemingly perfect relationship, but it will bring us closer together and hopefully closer to the M word. Apparently this is me growing up in a relationship.

This is also paired with the Daily Sermons Project I picked up for Lent. Which, I might add, is going very well. I skipped Saturday so Justin and I watched one on Sunday AND went to church. He’s doing it with me, at least for now, so we can discuss them later. Love it. We need to be more God-centered and this will hopefully get us out of the gate and heading in the right direction. (How many clichés can I use in this post?? Lol)

Another conversation happened today (only an hour ago) about what it means to idolize your significant other. It’s still in debate on whether I’m a part of this category, or just riding the fence, but it’s something to question. I know I have been there before, I know that Justin has been my idol more than once, and I have tried to stop the trend that I was creating. But since I don’t know where this fence is or how easy it is to cross, I have no idea what side I’m on! This almost turned into a very frustrating conversation though. I’m SO passionate because my parents weren’t. As I’ve grown up, I never thought they put in the effort it takes to make a marriage work. I want to make sure my relationships will work, that I will not be the 50% of marriages that end in divorce (yes, I know I’m not married, but it’s still important to think about it ahead of time) and that my husband will always know how I feel about him. But the thought of that being TOO MUCH is crazy. And now that Justin and I have talked about it, it’s definitely something I’m going to look in to, and that could be again very helpful in the future. Don’t worry though, I did point out some very valid things in his life that I think he needs to improve on or how he has led to me to be like blank by the actions that he does. I’m not crazy all on my own… I have some helpers. Haha.

Sorry folks, heavy conversation. A lot of it is coming from my Mark Driscoll sermons. The series he is in right now is about “Real Marriages” and I can’t help but rant about it. I agree with a LOT of what he says, especially when he starts to back it up with scripture. For those who don’t like him, I’d say it’s still beneficial to listen to him and figure out WHY he is fighting certain ideas. Justin stated that my niche might be relationships and God, which I’m starting to agree with. I am very passionate on marriages and how to make them work, especially when there are so many bad ones present in my life. And I have heard the argument about how I’m not married so how could I possibly know anything? Well I’ve seen BAD marriages, that gives me a heads up on what not to do. Also, Driscoll said a sentence that I resonated with deeply “ Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you don’t have wisdom.” Sure, I don’t know how it will EXACTLY be when I get married, but this is why I’m curious and I want to prepare myself, and talk to married people and get a feel for what I could be getting in to. Knowledge is power, and if that power is what keeps my marriage healthy and happy, then I’ll do what it takes. Plus, going into with your mind on Jesus doesn’t hurt either. I’m not saying, I’m just saying…

Okay, promise I’m done. Maybe as I learn more about the topics (politics, science, theology) I’ll post the things I learn so you too can become smart in three more areas. Everyone likes random trivia right?

Love,

Adding Not Taking Away

So here were are again.

It’s Lent season. And instead of doing something that is typical for most lent-partakers, I’ve decided to do something this year. I think it’s really important to understand the point of lent, at least in my eyes. I remember being in highschool and watching Laura tell our friend Amanda that if she eats chocolate more than three times in the 40 days of lent, that she can shave Laura’s eyebrow off. It was hysterical. [Don’t worry kids, she failed THREE times and that was it.] Then a few years later I remember giving up pop before my friend Anna’s wedding. The day of her wedding we were getting our hair done and the salon we were at offered us coke, and I knew lent was over and I was allowed to have my first sip. It was still just as delightful as I had remembered. Last year I even tried to give up chocolate, but let me tell you, I failed. You can’t give up chocolate when you are in your friend’s wedding and they are having a dessert bar instead of dinner.

Through all these experiences however, I’ve never felt closer to God. It was never like, oh I gave up [blank] and now I can replace that empty space with Jesus. And isn’t that the point anyway? One of my friends told me yesterday that the reason Catholics give up meat for lent is because the fish industry was doing poorly and needed a reason for people to eat fish. And if that is the real reason, that’s ridiculous. Where is God in that?

I’ve also noticed that the things I choose to give up never are really FOR God. I like to use the excuse that “God would want my body to be healthy, so this is a good idea” even though what I’m really thinking is “I’m going to give up [blank] because if I don’t have it for 40 days I might lose weight!” Not really the feeling I was going for.

So now here I am, Lent season starting today, and I had to decide what I was going to do. Most people would say don’t bother with it because it means nothing, but I enjoy being a part of it. And yes, I also make New Year’s Resolution… so what? ANYWAY… I thought about it and decided last Sunday at church that I am going to watch a sermon a day. Yes, I’m not giving up something, unless you say I’m giving up my “time” that I could be doing other things. But if I want to get closer to God, why not actually be proactive about it? It’s still teaching discipline in your faith. And hey, I will learn a lot about the God I choose to follow. What do I hope to get out of this? Knowledge, wisdom, grace, obedience, desire, hope, and longing for Him. Matthew 7:8 says “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knows it shall be opened.” And of course James 4:8 says “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” These are the things I want. If I’m drawing near to him through scripture and sermons, I will desire Him more. Now that’s what I call a win.

Whether I’m doing lent wrong or not, this is the way I want to do it. And hopefully I succeed. Day 1 out of 40: complete!

On a very sad note, someone from my college died in a car accident on Monday. The roads were slick with the fresh snow that was falling, and she lost control and slid into oncoming traffic. That’s when a semi hit her. From what I’ve read, she died in the accident. Her name was Steffanie Dahlseng and while I wasn’t close to her in any way, I still knew her through my journalism classes. It breaks my heart especially because she was married for less than a year and with child (6 months into pregnancy). Ouch. While I have no doubt that she isn’t in Heaven, it still hurts. I can’t stop thinking about how her friends and family feel because I know what it feels like. Maybe I haven’t lost a spouse, but we all know that we lost Travis almost 9 years ago. My memories don’t fade on how that felt. I pray for everyone who knew her well that they feel peace with You and draw near to You in such rough times. Give understanding, hope, and life to the people affected by this tragic scene.

Love, A

[Insert Name Here]

No, that's not an error... that's me signaling to you readers that in a VERY short time, I will have my name in a real live magazine!! I'm super pumped if you couldn't tell. Like, more pumped then when I got a kitten in 3rd grade. Or more pumped that watching Titanic in theaters again this upcoming April (it's a close call anyway....) And as of THIS month, my name will at least be under the list of names for who work at the magazine.... whatever that is called! I didn't publish any articles but I worked on stuff, so that's pretty exciting. We've actually been working on the February article today-it's "en route" which basically means that everyone in the office looks over it and checks for errors! Took me TWO HOURS! But considering there is 60-some pages, I'd say I did it quickly. Haha

Yesterday a friend asked me if I lost weight (Natey-poo) and I was actually shocked he said anything! I mean yes, I have been working out, not eating so crappy, and drinking a lot more water since August, and I know i've lost weight, but now my friends are starting to notice, which makes it even more fulfilling! People need every encouragement they can get when it comes to being healthy. We simply can't do it on our own. And while I have been feeling great about myself for a while now, it's nice to know that it's noticeable. So hip yip hooray! Or something to that affect.

Anyone watch those superbowl ads? Um.. I DID. Can't say they were "amazing" but I can say that the overweight dog and the M&M's were HYSTERICAL! I've linked them for your viewing pleasure. I'm making it THAT much easier for you! Just have to click and watch!

On a side note, I've been working on some breaking news stuff for our website and found out that 55 percent of dogs are overweight/obese! So that commercial is legit! Dogs may not have "self esteem issues" but PEOPLE! C'mon! Don't make your dogs so chubby!!!

I'm out!

Love,

Who the heck is Punxsutawney Phil??

It’s Groundhog Day. And today I feel like I saw MY shadow! I’ve learned that these silly little groundhogs are actually afraid of their shadows, and they then run back into their home or the cage they are kept in until next year. Or at least that’s the joke. But for me, I’m at a big girl job doing time wasting things, and all of a sudden, on such a big day, I’ve been given real live tasks! The other day I was assigned to read this book, come up with some questions for the author, e-mail them, and then turn the answers into a Q & A type thing. And I was super excited about that, but he called it a “long term” project because it won’t be going out into a magazine until May or June. So then I was back to doing my “I don’t know what to do” tasks until he called me and the other assistant editor into his office to talk about future magazines! He wanted me to add a few things to my existing article (The one I wrote starting my 2^nd day and turned in last week… and had Justin edit about 3 times) and then assigned me two OTHER articles for our two magazines for next month! I feel like I got a raise or a promotion or something! This is what I feel school trained me for yah know? They assign you work, and you keep it in the back of your mind and eventually things start to be due. And it’s a high paced environment full of slacking off/panicking/doing your work. It’s what I FEED off of. And I wasn’t sure that was how it was going to be because I rarely had things to do for these first few weeks, and the things I was assigned were accomplished within 20 minutes. But if this is what it is… I went into the right career.

I worked out yesterday and felt AMAZING. I mean it was up there with seeing my boyfriend, or playing with Evelyn. It seriously just boosts my mood and can make me do a complete 180. I love knowing that I’m improving (When I started in August I was running at like 5.9/6.0 an hour, and now I’m at 6.2/6.3 an hour) and that I can run a 5K without feeling like I’m dying, and I love to see the muscles appear and just feel good overall. And the weight training has really toned my arms and my calves. Now it’s all about the stomach, quads, and hammies! I’m still really pumped to see where I will be in August because than it’ll be a full year! I’m hoping to lose another 15 by then. We’ll see though. I’ll keep you posted! I think I took a slight hit when I started working this new job because I sit ALL day now instead of running around. So I have to lower my calorie intake and just make sure to really be getting stuff out of my workouts.

That’s it for now. I have a lot of grown up adult work to do, and no time to be writing, but I thought I’d fill in my followers about the work and all the progress! And remember, whether a mole/squirrel/gopher type thing sees it’s shadow or not, remember that this was the best winter ever (unless you LOVE negative weather, gloom, and blizzardy snow storms) and nobody cares if it lasts another six weeks. Just saying…

Always,

I work out!

Hello world! Oh my gosh! Okay, so… I obviously started my new job as an Assistant Editor for a magazine right? I think I posted that the last time I wrote. I started on January 16th and was supppperr pumped! But I never really thought about how much TIME a real job takes up. I was only serving a little over 20 hours a week and making just barely enough to survive. Now I’m working 40 at the new job, and at least 10 at the serving job and I’m like “AHHHHHH!” I was just trying to figure out if I was even able to work out anymore. Which side note, I’m very in love with and I’m glad I’ve been doing that consistently for six months now! Mini hooray for me! ANYWAY, now that I’m on my third week, I’m trying to get in to the swing of things again. A number one priority with me was that I wanted to keep my life as busy and as active as I have in the past. There is a fear in me that I will get “old” sooner than later (i.e.- to bed by 9PM, boring weekdays, chores on weekends, etc) and to keep my sanity, I must keep doing things I love. So what has this resulted in? Basically cutting down on TV time. Haha. Really that’s it. I am like 13 episodes behind according to Hulu, and really, that’s okay. I think I’ll live.

So yes, the job itself is great. The pay is better than serving (although since I’m still serving, I have a nice flow of “extra cash”) and the work is something I went to school for. I edit, I write, I proofread, I mean it’s almost a dream come true! The hardest part of all of it, which I figured it to be the 6AM wake time, is actually the “down time.” Who knew that there is SOO much downtime in an office? It’s not even me that says this! It’s everybody who has a 40-hour-a-week job in an office. And then everybody wonders why Facebook is so common at work. Don’t worry folks, I haven’t completely caved… I just have it on my phone and look at it from time to time. On my computer I just read… a lot! It’s probably better for me anyway. Haha. But yes, it’s an adjustment, but it’ll be exciting to see my first real story in the magazine! All I’ve done so far is edit some breaking news material to put up on the website, and I’ve written like 10 product descriptions for some segments we have. But to have my NAME in the magazine….. EEEK! You will all be well aware when that day comes.

Besides work, not a whole lot is new. Like I said, I’ve been working out for 6 months now and ::drumroll please:: have lost 20lbs (give or take 3lbs depending on any given day and if it’s morning or night). While some people would be like… that’s it? I prefer to look at it as a healthy way to lose weight. I’m not in it to pull a Biggest Loser and drop 100 lbs in 8 weeks, I just wanted to tone up and shape up! We all know that as we get older (at the high age of 25 I say this) our body’s metabolism isn’t quite what it used to be. Why not start changing your habits now instead of becoming obese and being depressed about it later? That’s the problem with society though, nobody deals with the problem until it’s already broken! ***can you tell I work for a health magazine??

And of course, boyfriend is perfect. It’s always interesting to stroll through a long-term relationship. What I’ve noticed is that we still have a passion for each other (something the two of us have made sure not to lose) and still talk daily, as well as see each other almost every day. We respect each other, care for each other, and I’m pretty sure have become each other’s best friends. On the down side, we bicker. Nothing serious of course. It’s just what happens when you spend so much time with someone. The main thing Justin and I talk about is that as we progress through our relationship, is that we want to make sure to not lose that “dating” aspect. Once people get married, I’ve seen them lose their “spark.” It might be due to the phrase of “now that I’m married, I don’t have to do [blank]”. What a detrimental statement! Think about it (if you’re married or in a LTR) and see what you put in that blank spot. Then, try to change it and see if that sparks something up again! I’d be interested to hear about what happens!

Alright friends, strangers, and family, it’s time for my departure. While my “resolution” took the backseat for a while, I’m ready to start fresh again!

Always,

Ore-ho ho ho's and a Happy New Year

Okay, so in my head the title of this blog sounded funnier. (Oreo's+Christmastime=Oreoh's/ho's) follow my drift? Yah it's not really there but just pretend you get my drift. Thanks. But really, I was excited because I made my first ever Oreo Truffles for Christmas AND I am currently munching on Oreo's while I type this blog. yummmmmm!

Well, I'm back. I mean like as back as I could ever be. I've been lacking on using my outlets for my creativity, and now that it is the year of 2012, I knew that this would be the perfect opportunity for me to jump back into the thing I love; writing! There have also been some very sad readers since they really have nothing to read. So to them I say: I'mmmm bbaaaaacccck! Creepy.

My goal this new year is to write twice a week (104 posts to be exact) which would be a crazy amount considering I had 6 last year. I really don't know what happened. Must have been the boyfriend, the car getting stolen, serving, boyfriend, finishing school, finding job, and so forth. There just hasn't been time. But it's now time to MAKE time. If I stop this now, it'll be sad. Like, I dunno, a little part of me will have died with my college years and I'm not ready for that reality to happen. So lucky for us all there are such things as resolutions. *GRIN*

I guess I can just rattle off some stuff and call that my first post. yah? ready? It's been pretty intense, I don't know if you can handle it!

*SINCE SEPTEMBER*

Oh! I turned the big 25. That was weird. I feel that it was a good birthday and that I saw everyone I wanted to. Ali was in town for a long time and I think it was good for both of us. It had been a long time since I had seen her! And she made me MITTENS!!!! I have yet to wear them, but when those cold February days hit, i'll be totes ready. Just saying.

I also maybe sorta have a job. Basically (long story short) I applied to a job right after my birthday for an assistant editor position for a magazine, and I've been e-mailing, interviewing, phone calling this person for months and he did offer me a position (can I get a HOLY COW FREAKING AWESOME CONGRATS?!?!?) but we still have to hammer out the tiny details... like when I start or what my hours will be. They are actually really big details, but all I know is that I have a position doing something I love and getting paid to do it. It's been hard I think because it was Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then we jump right into Christmas and New Years and it's like there is no break to get things back to normal. Except it is now January and hopefully *fingers crossed* I will hear from my soon-to-be boss this week. Then I'll REALLY be jumping up and down. Oh, and buying a whole new wardrobe for my fancy fancy job.

Thanksgiving came and went. It wasn't the biggest holiday every only because it's one day and pretty standard, but I do know it was good. It was also followed by Black Friday. Man, that was nuts. Apparently we were on a hunt for a TV for the Knapps, and then an Xbox. Well, after 2 hours of waiting in a ridiculously long line outside of BestBuy and then swinging over to Target, sleeping, and heading back out into the world towards MoA, we finally bought both things listed previously. Except we returned it next day. Don't ask why, it was just a funny story and both Justin and I have agreed that it was a nightmare. End of story.

Christmas was super fantastic. I think I was happy because I'm for once ahead of my bills (I'll talk more about this in the next paragraph) and I was able to actually purchase presents at my own pace instead of waiting until that last glimmer of hope on Christmas eve. It wasn't even NEAR stressful. And my presents were amazing. Justin bough me Sperry's, which I've been wanting for months but haven't purchased because they are super expensive, and my parents gave me money to get a massage and a facial (which will be happening tomorrow! First ones ever!) and then just a few smaller things. It was great. Then we did Christmas with the Knapps on Christmas day and the four of us will be seeing Blue Man Group this summer! I hear it's amazing and I bet I will agree. We also saw Debbie's family and spent the whole day eating at watching sports. I think I need a break from... all sports.

New Year's (which is now) was a more peaceful holiday consisting of dinner and games with Kara, Brian, and Alyssa, followed by the treacherous road conditions (FINALLY legitimately snowed... of course on the last day of the year) and then making snowballs and snowmen outside with Med, Kyle, Manda, Lane, The Beckmans, and Justin. And the best part about that is we made a ham and ate it at midnight. Kind of a funny thing, but it was tasty and I was delighted. What I was REALLY excited about though was that John and Anna are in town with their 3 little ones and he preached at Village today. I told Justin that if John was the preacher, and the Johnsons were the worship team, I would be a member at this church. Justin just told me that it's too bad that this church that I have envisioned doesn't exist. Man... he did so well. Like the words of Christ were flowing through him and it was very apparent. I won't even describe it because I don't want to ruin the memory of the service today. Let's just say I felt at home. And finally we spent the rest of the day with the Knapps family friends playing games, watching sports, and of course EATING. OYE

Good thing I've been working out since the beginning of August when I moved in with Seward. And I'd just like to let everyone know that I've lost 15-17 pounds since! Now just think what I can do if my diet completely changes! Baby steps though... baby steps.

And last but not least, finances. Oh the dreaded word. It's a word I've come to hate over the years but I think I am finally getting to a place in my life where it's not so extremely stressful! I mean it is but it isn't. Since The Beckman's have let me live with them for these few months, I've been able to not only PAY my payments, but pay them on time, without any late fees, and also have money left over at the end of the month. It's a crazy feeling. It's liberating and great and now when I look at my account and there is less than a certain amount, I feel weird! So I'm on the "up&up" as Justin would say and I couldn't be happier.

Okay. I'm sorry. THIS is the reason I CANNOT wait so long to write. And just think of all the things I MISSED in this blog. Oh well. You'll live. If you don't think you can live without knowing, well most of you know me well enough that you've probably already heard all this anyway. haha. But I'm happy to be back, and I think I'll add a funny quote on here that was said in the good ole year of 2011:

*Me (in a text to Mike) : "It's like Haiti and the Dominican Republic are the parents and ALLLL the little islands around them are their babies!"

*Mike (in a text to me): "And Mount Rushmore shows us how big people were back then"

It's not word for word because I am TOO lazy to find where I wrote this, but oh man... the conversations that happen.... they are great. Anyway, Happy New Year to you all! I can't wait to see what this year has to hold for us! :)

Always,